Dirty Sneakers
by The Turmoil Twins
Summary: ( AU - Lotsa No-no's:IK MS ) Goshinboku High to Cornflakes Prison. The InuYasha mob with godsend Shichinin-tai get arrested for pasting Tokyo's raunchy rubbish. Released, with intention to kiss every square inch of their driveways, bizarre things happen..
1. Air Vent Troubles and Troubles with Hags

       "Christ, I feel like Hamtaro..."  
  
       "Dude, you know if we get busted, it's your ass. Right?"  
  
       "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before.. now hand me the water hose."  
  
       "It's so dark in here, I can't tell the difference between the water hose and the nitrogen-hose."  
  
       "Hand me whatever the hell possesses you, then."  
  
       "Fine, take the blasted thing!"  
  
       "Shut your hot dog holder. If someone hears, then this whole month of plans will be wasted!"  
  
       "Ssh! I think I hear someone calling...."  
  
       "AHEM!"  
  
       "Uhh...ehehe..H-hey Ms. Urasue, wh-whats hangin'?"  
  
       "The next thing 'hangin' will be your necks if you two don't, GET IN MY CLASSROOM! NOW!!"  
  
       "GEEZ! Look who forgot to take her hot flash medication today!"  
  
       "Grrrr...when you both get in here...."  
  
       "..."  
  
       "Did we past her vent?"  
  
       "Yeaaassh.."  
  
       "..."  
  
       "Dammit, Kag-chan, I told you we should have tapped her morning omelet, THEN come and do this!"  
  
       "Ah sure! Blame it on the youth! We better get going before the mononoke personally climbs in these things herself to get us!"  
  
       "The bitch won't fit. Ahhhh, these vents aren't like they used to be."  
  
       "Let's go!"  
  
==============  
  
**Dirty Sneakers**

        Chapter One: _Air Vent Troubles and Troubles With Hags_  
  
==============  
  
The two clad-girls entered the classroom abruptly being the center of attention throughout the whole class. Sniggers and giggles buzzing around like bumble bees. The older looking girl rolled her eyes, just as the teacher opened her mouth to say something, most likely the 'speech'.  
  


  
They made their way to the back of the classroom avoiding the glares and giggles to sit with their other friends.  
  


  
"Kagome Higurashi and Sango Hiraikotsu," Ms. Urasue started in that 'im-going-to-tell-you-something-so-you-can-just-shut-the-hell-up-and-listen- once-more' tone of voice. Argh, 'that' tone. 3vil to the ears of teens. 

        "Do I dare ask what you two were concocting within the air vents of our school, and being LATE for MY class?!"  
  


  
"It's a pretty safe dare." Kagome spat casually.  
  


  
Most of these types of things happened everyday.  
  


  
         The evil teacher of Science and potions and all that hard junk had many secrets to keep hidden. Like the rumors that spread about 2 years ago for instance. Ms. Urasue was to have said to have a hidden sickle within her Science room storage closet waiting for oooone little slip up of the student body. Then, SLASH, you're dead....that's the way the rumor went, anyway. Of course, the principals heard nothing of this, because every kid was scared of what the old hag would do to them.  
  


  
Well, most of the kids weren't scaredy-cats. Others were bold..they just didn't want to prove it yet, ya know?  
  


  
"Detention for a week, you wretches. Now, open your textbooks to page #398 and continue on with the rest of our class, unless you have anything else to say...." The sensei raised her eyebrows in a dangerous manner as if daring for them to say something.  
  


  
"Uh, yeah we do sensei." The girl Sango said matter-of-factly. "Can we go to our proper class now?"  
  


  
"BE GONE WITH YOU!" Her boney brittle finger pointed to the exit as her shriveled voice quaked the student's ears. Sango and Kagome got up hastily and left with the resounding snickers tailing behind.  
  


  
"To think they'd have the decency to say goodbye.." Sango chirped falsely while swirling a strand of her loose dark chestnut hair. Kagome let out a laugh or two and Sango joined in. Kagome stood in front of Sango so she could talk to her better while walking down the hall.  
  


  
"And to think we were *this* close as to knock that tea-bag out of her teaching days!"  
  


  
"If only those damn crooked ears of hers weren't so good as to hear what we were saying. She grows a crop of gray hair in there and she still hear our whispers!" Sango threw her hands up in the air in frustration in the meanwhile dropping her books all over the shiny tiled floor.  
  


  
        "Aww, screw it." and she kicked them all trying to keep them in the same area while walking, Kagome helping out by her bestest friend's side.  
  


  
        Sango Hiraikotsu and Kagome Higurashi were Goshinboku High's sneaky notorious tomboys. They preferred to be called label-me-nots, but tomboys always fit their attitudes and descriptions.  
  
         Sango wore black over-alls that has various rips in them from the usual disasters. Climbing trees, falling from trees, schoolyard fights, little brother babysitting, etc. She wore a crimson shirt with a large black snake coming from front to back underneath the over alls. The shirt cut off at mid torso but the sleeves came to her wrists, a black and white bandana on her head, and some faded red Reeboks on her feet. In her left ear she had a mid-size hoop earring with 4 red rhinestones at the bottom. Her features were graced with a dark crimson almost black eye shadow above her sparkling chocolate eyes, and shiny balm on her lips.  
  
       She looked beautiful to any guy that passed her by, earning respect and honor amoung most everyone. But yet not *every* single person trusted her, but she was still a best friend a girl could have overall.  
  
          Kagome, on the other hand, was kinda picky at the way she looked. She wore a large, but not too large, dark navy shirt with a water dragon and pixy with a big-ass sword protecting eachother. A plaid checkered jacket with unbuttoned cuffs was over the shirt, but was unbuttoned in the front. She wore long baggy black jeans with a red eyed silver bladed dragon iron-on at the bottom, and a few chains at the waist. On her right ear dangled a similar hoop to Sango's but had 4 copper stone hanging down. On her face she wore dark blue eye shadow above her natural blue eyes. And at the top of her head she wore a black Tekken Tag Tournament hat backwards on her head.  
  


  
          Kagome was an-easy-to-make-friend if you acted the way you were around her. False people she would pity and spit on, such as cheerleaders, but if you act the way you intentionally were brought up, she'd be your pal for life.  
  


  
         Not many teachers respected her, but they couldn't really hate a nice face like her's and they'd let her get away with a lot of things. Hehehehe, Kagome loved life.  
  


  
         The two hyper teens laughed and chatted their way to English homeroom on first period. Sango opening the door, and Kagome coming in from behind still kicking various textbooks and notebooks into the classroom, and Sango shuffling in after her.  
  


  
        The teacher looked up from her lesson to the two and smiled warmly. "It's about time you entered my class, and may I be the first to say, your choice of words in conversation are quite...colorful."  
  


  
        "Yeaaaassh Mrs. Piper," Kagome slurred comically. "Mrs. Monono--I mean, Ms. Urasue thought so too." Her friend and the other classmates present giggled silently at the slip up.  
  


  
        Mrs. Piper's smile never faltered, "Okay you two, take a seat and pick up that Red Badge Of Courage book from the floor and turn to page #23 and follow along from there. Sound good?"  
  


  
        The girls looked at each other and shrugged happily, Sango smiled "The best offer we had all morning!"  
  
       

        They went to their seats in the back rows with their other mysterious friends. English continued on for another hour with not much work to do, and the class spilled out into the halls like wildfire throughout Goshinboku High once more.  
  


  
        Who knows what would happen on a Monday?  
  


  
==============  
  


  
What do you think?  
  
This is my idea so far, if you like it and want it to continue then please tell me and I'll be right on it!  
  
Next chapter (if it comes out) They meet InuYasha and co. as well as some other strange characters.  
  
So honestly, _ ......................is it good?  
  
Damn, I ran outta crap to say.  
  
UNTIL NEXT TIME! Chow. *vanishes*  
  


 Happy Trails to you,

  
** Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup******


	2. Meeting the Boys: Art Class Crass

        ================  
  
     **Dirty Sneakers**

            Chapter 2:_ Meeting The Boys:_ _Art Class Crass_  
  
        ================  
  
Kagome and Sango visited their lockers and crammed all their books and stuff inside and taking out the next round of stuff for the next class.  
  


  
They shoved through the halls until Sango spotted a familiar white haired boy with the cutest doggie ears a man could, and would, ever have.  
  


  
        She jabbed Kagome lightly in the ribs until she got her attention. "Hey, Kag-chan." Sango said mischievously. "There's your hullabaloo. Give the guy a good ole' fashion greeting!"  
  


  
        Kagome looked over to where her best friend pointed and grinned. She stalked to his direction with Sango tailing close by, looking like something was going to jump out at her from a locker, or door any minute.  
  


  
When Kagome finally managed to shove through a raging sea of kids she stopped short right behind him until he turned around.  
  


  
"Hey," Kagome said innocently. "I never noticed that beauty mark on your neck..."  
  


  
Consciously the boy felt his neck wondering what the hell in the 7 Hells what the girl talking about. "Uhh, Kag..What beauty mark?" He said nervously.  
  


  
"That one!" she swiftly pounced on the man with her legs wrapping around his waist and putting her head on his shoulder. The poor man consciously held her legs steadily so she wouldn't fall off.  
  


  
Sango still looked uncomfortable, but that feeling went out the window when she saw what position her friends were in.  
  


  
        "Good Morning to you too, Kag!"  
  
        "A lovely one at that, InuYasha!"  
  


  
Sango laughed as she saw Kagome playfully kiss InuYasha allover his face and neck avoiding the lips purposely, while InuYasha stood there laughing and turning crimson at the same time.  
  


  
Suddenly some rap music started to play and a man stepped behind Sango and firmly wrapped his strong arms around her torso dangerously close to her chest. Her eye was now dangerously twitching too at that movement.  
  


  
"I like the way you do that right thurr,  
  
        Swish your hips when you walk, let down your hurr,  
  
        I like the what you do that right thurr,  
  
        wet your lips when you talk, that make me slurr..."  
  


  
A small crowed stepped around the singing hentai and his 'touching-bag' as some liked to call it. Sango took no heed as the kids started to back away sloooowly.

  
  
       *BAM*  
  


  
       *CRASH*

  
  
       *SNAP!*

  
  
"Ow! Sango my Skittle, That was my _ARM_!!"  
  


  
"Eat me, Miroku."

  
  
"Where? _When_?!"  
  


  
*SNAP*  
  


  
*CRACKLE*  
  


  
*POP*  
  


  
...Wake up call to the world....   
  


  
Kagome finally got off InuYasha and silently kicked Miroku in his side stiffly, making him grunt.  
  


  
"Dumbass."   
  


  
The four-some (not that four-some, ya..aw, nevermind) have been friends since their pre-school years. Which, to our gang, has been since first grade. Since it was now the smack down between the 3rd and last quarter of the school year, of their 9th grade year, they were pretty hyped. Back in their 'pre-school' years everything was great.  
  


  
They first met Miroku and InuYasha shoplifting from a local manga store, Kagome and Sango just happened to recognize them as the other outcasts of their class and helped them get away with the stolen goods. They still make routes to different stores every other weekend.  
  


  
The four hung out places, and have been pretty good friends to one another ever since. Hangin' at one another's houses, listening to music, cutting class, going places. You could have sworn this group was family. But at the same time, know they aren't. If ever one were in trouble the other 3 would take it from there. Nothing could separate them.  
  


  
Kagome blinked suddenly remembering something.  
  


  
"Hey, Yash, how come you weren't in first class today?"  
  


  
Sango turned to the perv who was still on the floor. "Yeah, where were you guys?"  
  


  
InuYasha leaned up against his locker sighing an almost inaudible sigh. Almost.  
  


  
"Okay, what was that?" Kagome folded her arms gruffly across her chest.  
  


  
InuYasha blinked in confusion. "Whaaa?"  
  


  
"You sighed."  
  


  
"Did not."  
  


  
"Yes you did, I heard you!"

  
  
"No, I DIDN'T!"

  
  
"Actually, I heard it too, Yash."  
  


  
"Shut 'ur cave Miroku, I didn't sigh!!"

  
  
"Migraine.. migraine..."

  
  
"Sorry, Sango my pumpkin-cakes."  
  


  
"If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you back it away from my ass."

  
  
"But Sango-kins! You very well know that my hand has a mind of it's own, and I for one, am not Mrs. Cleo..."

  
  
*SLAP!*

  
  
"Well then I suggest you court her, and keep away from me!"

  
  
"Oh shit! Look at the time! We're almost 3 minutes late for class!"

  
  
"Dammit, you're right Kag-chan! C'mon we gotsta hurry, we got Art next!"

  
  
"Yeeeeeeeesss!!"

  
  
"Feh!"  
  


  
"You're telling me about what you're all sighy and crap at lunch or I'll give you something to Feh about!"  
  


  
"Well lets get a move on."  
  


  
And off they ran to the next story of the building to Art Class, tripping each other on the way to get in first.  
  


  
        **========:o:========**  
  


  
In Art class they all sat down at some abandoned tables. They were all in the same class because InuYasha blackmailed the Secretary Aoshi to change the schedule. Why? Oh.. If our stubborn little action figure didn't get his way, then everyone would be hearing the little tape recording of her and the American-transfer janitor, Mr. Steve. Can't go wrong with that, now can you?

  
  
Kagome sat down in a squeaky chair next to Sango, Miroku sat next to her, and InuYasha sat next to Kagome in the seat to her right. The class was starting to gossip about a new exchanged student that was said to be coming in today.  
  


  
"Do you think it's true?" Kagome said aloud to no one imparticular. "Of course it is Kagome-sama, I saw her this morning when I was in the office." Miroku replied. "She looked pretty down-drafted."  
  


  
"That's not a word Miroku, you should stop skipping English all the time. It's rubbing off on you!" Sango twitched for the millionth time that morning when she felt a hand go on her upper chest. 

       "Oh Sango my little grape of the vine, you DO care!" Miroku smirked, but stopped short when a fist connected with his eye. 

       "Asswipe.."  
  


  
Suddenly the door slammed open revealing another tardy fool. I mean, bright student. It was a girl who looked fairly skinny like Sango but had short, ruffled sky blue hair with black square glasses in some rainbow clothes. Not preppy rainbow clothes, but 70's type. With the black combat boots and all.  
  


  
The girl walked up to the teacher and her first words were, "Take it- -JIZZ-JIZZTRAP!" Everyone's head jerked up at her statement but went back to what they were doing knowing it was only,  
  


  
"Crayon, why don't you take a seat?" The sensei spoke softly and waved her hand in the direction of the empty seat in front of Kagome.  
  


  
"Thanks-WHORE!!...sorry." Crayon went the directed seat and sat down. "Yo DILLHOLES."  
  


  
"Hello to you too, Crayon." casually replied the table. 

         For they all knew the dangers of Tourette Syndrome. Crayon slipped on her Discman playing Def Jam as a distraction to not talk anymore then she needed to.  
  


  
No one ever knew why Crayon even went to school. She wasn't allowed. Near schools, churchs, temples, holy grounds, playgrounds, nowhere near those. Everyone figured Crayon had ADD and just didn't listen anyways. She was good in school and had very few friends. Not like she cared, she had her Tourette Syndrome. The world makes sense again.  
  


  
Soon the sensei had everyone making pots with little pieces of glass (and some smartasses pretending to have a deadly disease after getting cut by them and getting afterschool detention) and making them clean up after the project had been completed. Basically Crayon, Sango and Kagome were the ones who enjoyed art the most, so they were happy through the whole project.  
  


  
The bell rang reminding everyone soon the next class would start. Almost the whole class was groaning while some were parading around on sugar highs, and the left the classroom in a flurry.  
  


  
But not our four people, nope. They took their sweet time. And so did someone else.  
  


  
**========:o:========  
  
**

  
THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I WILL HOPE TO PERSONALLY REVIEW THEM NOW! Whoops, forgot to lower the keys..... ^-^ Thank you!  
  


  
I hope this chapter was long enough, and I'm SO sorry it took awhile to update! You know what my problem was?  
  


  
How to spell tourette syndrome. =_=

  
  
I thought it was Turret, but then I looked it up and said powerful fort. POWERFUL FORT DISEASE? Where had my mind gone?!

  
  
I made a mistake. BIG mistake..........I saw InuYasha Movie #2 screenshots.....  
  


  
It was a mistake! I didn't wanna see them.  Now that I know it's so close to the end, it's starting to make me like InuYasha less, I'm so stupid. *el sob* I didn't even see most of the InuYasha episodes, I'm on DVD #10 for the love of God!  
  


        Lemme just tell you, kiddies, DON'T GIVE INTO PEER PRESSURE. Kick them in the nards and walk awaaaay.

        Well.

  
My ear ache is getting better. HOORAY! The 9$ pills actually help. They better.. They were nine damn dollars for one pink little pill. I got 6 pills. Yay.. math... Christ. 3 CHEERS FOR INSURANCE!!  
  


  
HIP-HIP-HOOORAAY!!  
  


  
HIP-HIP-HOORAY!!  
  


  
HIP-HIP-HOORAAAAAAYY!!!!!  
  


  
So my little fiesta is over. More characters will be arriving in the next chapter, and the next chapter after that! Be on the look out for more waff and all that good stuff. REVIEW TOO. 

        P.S. I don't own Chingy as so used in this chapter. For he owns himself.  
  


  
Love ya,  
  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	3. Sesshoumaru and Naraku Over for Lunch

        ========»Ö»========  
  


  
   **Dirty Sneakers**

          Chapter 3: _Sesshoumaru and Naraku Over For Lunch_  
  


  
========»Ö»========  
  


  
After almost being late for yet another class, Kagome, InuYasha, Miroku, and Sango entered 4th period, Math, and sat down in the back near some pretty strange people.  
  


  
One girl had a pirate's eye patch over right eye and wore womanly pirate styled clothing that consisted of crimson sash, golden strings dangling golden coins, black steel-toed boots, a velvety black shirt with poofs on the shoulders that was tied over the collar bones, and a long white skirt with various holes and discolored patches decorated among it. And a blue bandana with white designs tied on her head. To the untrained eye it looked interior, from some wealthy clothing company. But really, she made it all herself. She had a whole closet full of her scratch clothing. And her closet was BIG, considering she sold some of her formal designs for big cash leading to mucho denero.  
  


  
Her name was Kaede Miko.  
  


  
Two girls that wore opposite clothes sat in two seats ahead of the swashbuckler looking like detachments from the world (hehe). One was shorter then the other. The shorter one had narrowed black beady eyes, in a white tank top with white overalls that came down to her knees in a jean fashion. On her feet were white Sketchers with black bottoms. On her ears swing a cascading line of diamonds that reached her jaw line. On her tank top was the black part of the Ying Yang, the Yang with the white dot in the middle. She had pinned black Hyacinths clipped on each side of her head. Her skin, snow white.  
  


  
The other girl was quite the opposite. She was taller and had strange cherry colored eyes that clashed with her outfit. She had everything contradictory to the shorter girl, including the Ying Yang piece, for she had the Ying with the black dot. Her skin was satisfactorily tanned.

  
  
Both girls were said to be sisters. The albino was named Kanna Onigumo, the other, Kagura Onigumo.  
  


  
A girl who sat in the lead of the two girls was yet another girl they knew. She looked like Kagome, yet not like her. In fact, this girl was a slut. No doubt. Her scarlet mini skirt and white tube top with red stitches that showed more skin then need be, gave it away.  
  


  
She had long bizarre black hair, red tipped bangs to match her skirt. She does it every morning when she wakes up, just so it could match her outfit for the day. Every girl secretly wish she'd just fall over her large flats into the art kiln and die. Hey, there's always hope.  
  


  
This hoe's name was Kikyo Miko.  
  


  
Then there was a boy. He had pitch-ebony hair that trailed down to his knees, but hung loosely in a ponytail. On his visage he had on light blue eye shadow over his auburn colored eyes. His jeans were black and baggy with assortments of thick chains from the belt loop to belt loop. He wore a loose fitting gray tee, with a large tarantula on the front and on the back in bold black letters it said 'SPIDER8MAN'. It was said that this guy had a loose thing for spiders and all those creepy crawlies.

  
  
It was also spread as a rumor that his father was an abusive alcoholic, and had taken a spider-like red-hot poker and burned his son's lower back from a drunken rampage. His sisters had the same burns, but Kanna's was in the form of a rimmed mirror, and Kagura's a fan.  
  


  
This guy's name was Naraku Onigumo.  
  


  
Kagome and Sango took a seat next to the twins while InuYasha sat next to Kikyo, and Miroku next to Naraku. Kagome looked back and saw InuYasha sit next to Kikyo feeling a pang of hurt and anger.  
  


  
Kikyo saw this and triumphantly smirked, linking an arm around InuYasha's.  
  


  
Kagome was more hurt when he didn't dare move it. She brushed it off as paranoia, but knew deep down inside that she was impaired by the notion.  
  


  
Sango didn't miss it, either. She scowled to herself, '_I knew that InuYasha had news to tell us... But I never knew he would stoop so low as to go to the nearest bitch, and for what? What does she have, that Kagome hasn't nailed down?..Besides the slut thing._' She rolled her eyes, and shook her head in spite of herself. '_Damnit, InuYasha. What have you gotten yourself into?_'  
  


  
The teacher for the class hadn't come in, and it was already 10 minutes past class time. Everyone shrugged it off and started grouping off into little cliques.  
  


  
Maybe the teacher scheduled for his nuthouse appointment during the school time, again. Hmmm...  
  


  
**========»Ö»========  
  
**

  
"Don't be a bitch! Now pays meh what 'choo owes meh!" A man with his hair braided in a fine manner that tinted brown in the light, slammed his clenched fist over the metal table he was sitting at. He glared at the wench across from him crossly.  
  


  
"LISTEN SLEEZEBALL! I already gave you half of the money! What MORE do you want?!" A young girl with short emerald hair yelled in exasperation clinging tight to her purse strap. She dressed also like a slut. Short bottle green skirt that had black suspenders clinging over her army brat spaghetti string shirt, also gave it away.  
  


  
"The OTHER half, you whore! I want my money, and I WANT IT NOW!!" He squinted his ruby red eyes, just daring her to defy him.  
  


  
By now the whole cafeteria had their attention glued to them.  
  


  
The girl rolled her eyes, and got up from the table. The emerald haired lady opened her purse and threw two quarters dead at his eyelids, "Fine! Take your 50 cents! Is it so much to be hassled over a Snickers bar these days?!" She looked up from walking and caught all the bizarre glances she was getting. 

        "EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD! THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO SEE HERE!"

  
  
At the mention of 'food' everyone went back to what they were doing acting as if nothing ever happened.  
  


  
"Ooooo~kay, I think Yura has set of her sluttish little rocker again. What is that? The third time this week she had to pay back a dollar to a mixture of different people?" Sango put down her half of a sandwich and swished her spoon around while talking. She then got a thoughtful look on her face.  
  


  
Kagome was in mid-bite of her banana peanut-butter sandwich, "The last time it was a butterfingers. It makes me wonder why she isn't gaining weight by now. Or dead ass poor."  
  


  
Miroku sat down at the table five minutes later joining into the conversation of the hysterical Kagome and delusional Sango as they began to chorus into the song "UnHappy Girl" by Amy Ketchum. "What's the topic today, my lovely 'go-chans?" Unnoticeably edging closer to Sango.  
  


  
She glared at him then lightly slapped his head when he got closer, "Nothing is the topic and no means _NO_!"  
  


  
He smirked cocking a brow, "So what do you say?"  
  


  
       Kagome chuckled lightly, "GEEZ! You are a dense hentai, Houshi! (H/N: his last name as of... now)"  
  


  
Kagome stopped short of her chuckling when the two 'lovey-doves' started poking each other while eating. She looked curious for a moment then decided to speak.  
  


  
"Hey where is 'Yash? He always sits with us... It's like an unwritten law!"  
  


  
"Maybe that's because he's sitting with his new 'girlfriend'." A shady figure loomed over their table accompanied by a long silver haired fellow, clad in a tight red muscle shirt, a sleeveless black vest, tight blue jeans and a diamond earring in his left ear.  
  


  
Miroku smiled, "Naraku, Sesshoumaru! What brings you here, my friends?" The two figures dropped their lunch trays unto the table not caring if some of the food spluttered in different areas.  
  


        Sango raised her spoon at them like a pirate with a shiny new sword, "What he said!"

  
"We couldn't stand to see the groping at the other slab. So we're sitting with you all for as long as my baby brother keeps making a fool out of himself. It's embarrassing, really." Sesshoumaru sighed in defeat poking at his 'Broccoli Delight' with the spork. Naraku just nodded in recognition and patted Sess on his back knowingly.  
  


  
"Girlfriend? He never mentioned anything to us about a girlfriend. And did I hear the word 'groping'? He's GROPING her?!!" Kagome's left eye was twitching dangerously, Sango and Miroku took notice of this and tried to get her to stop but found it useless after two shots.  
  


        Ahh, valiums aren't like they used to be..

  
"I wonder why he hasn't told any of us yet. Yash always gets me the goods on his whereabouts, I'm his bud, for the love of Buddha!"  
  


  
        Naraku blinked, confused. "You mean to say, he hasn't told any of you? Sugoi. You're his damn friends, and we found out before you did. Small world." Naraku downed some of his milk, the only sanitary thing in the cafeteria.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru knocked his tray off the table making one of the nerds that passed by, trip. "Little brother sure has his way with the ladies. Why Kikyo? She's a fucking doornail. Anyone can screw her. What he needs is a challenge."  
  


  
Sango pointed her spoon at Sess accusingly, but shocked at what just came out of his mouth none-the-less, "Watch your mouth, young man!"  
  


  
He raised his hands in mock apology.  
  


  
       When Kagome finally found the urge to speak again she coughed going back into deep thought. _'Why would he date Kikyo? The slut has had half of Tokyo's male population! Does InuYasha not notice that? Is he that desperate for an immediate person? Does he...does he not think I'm enough? GRR! I don't care. The whore can suck out his blood through a Juicy Juice straw for all I care. Hmpf!_'  
  


  
She turned her head to see Kikyo glomping and pointedly making attempts to grope the dog-eared boy.  
  


  
He smirked and wagged his finger like some mother would do to a child that has done something wrong. He looked up to see Kagome's slanted glance turn away sadly. A wave of unknown guilt washed over him like a Tsunami.  
  


        InuYasha's eyes were ragged with shock, 'Oh no! I didn't tell her!' He shook Kikyo's form from off his arm, looking hopelessly at the drained Kagome from across the canteen. 'DAMNIT!' InuYasha never noticed his fist harshly connect with the table, creating a large dent. Or the screams and cries that came from the cheerleading bimbos as he did so.

  


        Figures his brother said something, and then along came the spider.  
  


        For the remainder of the hour for lunch, his eyes never left Kagome. Not once, still baring the fact that staring at her wasn't going to help make her feel better. 

       Kikyo grunted at the loss of attention, and went back to talking in the unknown language known as '_Cheerocrisotopolitous_' to her bubbly clique. A language, no one will ever get through knowing without asprin and a wad of ginseng. 

  
InuYasha never even takes a second look at what he's got until he loses it... the common asshole.

         Now back to the Party of 5.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru and Kagome were engaged in conversation about the tough, sleezy trials of being a slut and many cruel ways to kill them. Naraku soon joined in up till the 'ways to kill them' part.  
  


  
Sango and Miroku on the other hand, were devising plans to get Kagome and InuYasha as a pair. Even though both wouldn't admit it, they really did like each other. Maybe even...love?  
  


  
The bell soon rang letting everyone know lunch was over and to hurry your asses elsewhere. Everyone got up grudgingly and headed out the corridor to their next classes.  
  


  
**========»Ö»========**

  
  
From Ass Kicker to Ass Crammer! Proof that Sess is OOC=more fans.  
  


  
        And I bet eeeeeveryone who read this story up to here thought that Inu/Kag was a couple, right? NOPE! Not yet at least. Just wait till you get to chapter 8...  
  


  
**REVIEW RESPONSES!  
  
**

  
**_loozer-009_** = Kagome and InuYasha shall be a couple in later chapters, for now, I shall make InuYasha a jackass. He will pay dearly filled with guilt later. And I need ideas to kill Kikyo! All I have now is to dig her heart out with Sess's spork. Safety first. Heh heh. ^_^ Thank you for reviewing my story!!  
  


  
**_Three-Letter-Word_** (formally known as **Ice**) = *looks around wildly* _ HAMPSTERS OF CURIOUSNESS?! *stuffs herself in a cabinet* eep! save me..!  
  


  
**_EvilBunnies_** = I know how Florida is. Bah! Us Floridians can't get a good price on nectarines, and now THIS?! What is the world coming to?! I tried looking for the second InuYasha movie in Sam Goody, SunCoast, GameStop, and Best Buy. I found nothing. NADA! I really think that's unfair, neh?! I can't even find the first DVD Movie of InuYasha. Where didja get yours? *blinks* ^_^ I'm continuing zeh story now! The next chapter after this should be coming out in a week....I babble alot, don't I? Heh heh!  
  


  
**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_** = Thank you before for pointing out my faults in spelling! Sorry I didn't thank you earlier. Thank you! Alas. I Have a SPELLCHECKER! The reason I can't think of is why I had to DOWNLOAD it from another program! O_ Maddness. Maddness!! Thanks for your review! ^_^  
  


  
**END REVIEW RESPONSES!  
  
**

  
My mom has a date tonight with the TIDYTEAM DIRECTOR! People who fix roofs and clean tiolets for a living.  
  


  
If your father's name is Dave and he works for Tidyteam, I would scream. Not like your father would work for that company, and if he is your father. Then I just want to tell you... your father is a queer. Purple is _not _his color, really!  
  


       Would you look at that, my gaydars' goin' _cra-zay_! Beep.. beep...  
  


  
My sister was attacked in her own home. And now she's telling me she was being an 'instigator'? Does this mean I was worrying over nothing, and being a hard ass since last week? I hate it when I'm the one with egg on my face. ._. Damn you, Marco and Amande...

  
  
I swear I needed to say something. Now I forgot..........oh yeah!!  
  


  
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! FOR THERE WILL BE WIERD THINGS GOING ON IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, I think. I don't know. What do you think should happen? IDEAS ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTED WITH OPEN ARMS! ^_^  
  


  
_Pairings_: Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango, Sess/Rin, Kouga/Ayame, Naraku/Kikyo. These are sane parings.  
  


  
_BACKUP Pairings_: Kikyo/InuYasha (_fuck _no), Sango/Sess, Rin/Kouga, Kagome/Naraku, Ayame/Miroku. These are INsane pairings.  
  


  
Vote for what you want to see. Majority rules. And please don't just review my story just to vote, I'll get pretty sad.  
  


  
The pairings shall be decided in the next chapter. Which should be up in a week. Or a day after that. ^_^   
  


        Ozzy eats a burrito...

  
I'm done with my rambling.   
  


  
Much Love and Syrup,  
  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup **


	4. Shippou's Got a Secret

******_Disclaimer:_** InuYasha is in full custody of Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ Videos of the OAV Anime. Not to mention Rumiko Takahashi's husband, Kazuki Takahashi, is the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh! trading cards, Anime, Shonen Jump, etc. The next time you play the Trading Card game, look at the bottom line and tell me what you see. I also don't own Hitler or the Stop and Go shop. That I'm grateful for. Now how's that for a disclaimer? ^-~  
  


  
         **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
I had to change the layout on my Blog (Omnipresence), and it took me about an hour or so to get things straightened out. yay. _-_ Not to mention FF.net has been down, for almost 3 days in a row. Do you not know how aggravating that is?  
  


  
I've got LOTS of inspiration from my reviewers! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Yessiree! Review Responses are at the bottom, and now I shall eat my mom's mystery pasta with the bouncy purple noodles.  
  


  
        **BEWARE THE PURPLE NOODLES ARE AMONG US**!   
  


  
That is all.  
  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
**Dirty Sneakers** (what else would it be?)  
  


        Chapter 4: Shippou's Got A Secret

  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
Soon the School Dismissal rang and everyone cleared the halls of Goshinboku. The hallways light up through the sunshine in the window making an illuminating glow cast the school halls over like a spell.  
  


  
Kagome hung out with Miroku, Sango, and Naraku all day. InuYasha didn't show up with the group, and that got them pretty worried. Their ole bud left without notice. They all split up, homebound.  
  


  
Kagome trudged up the Shrine's steps and into her home.  
  


  
"I'm home! Anyone here??" Kagome yelled into the eerie hush of the house. Shrugging it off she put down her schoolbag and took off her shoes at the door. She tiredly walked into the kitchen, immediately discovering a note on the fridge.  
  


  
        '_Kagome kawaii-chan (beloved),  
  
_

  
Jii-chan is visiting Disney Land in the states, [insert Kagome's snort here] and won't be back for at least another month due to his shortage on what he calls it, 'fun in the sun'. Florida, Orlando, to be exact, does the trick. I am away on account of my job. They want me to do a full report on the wildlife of Safari creatures, which brings me to Southern Africa. For a month, tops. Souta will be at Kohaku's house for most of the time, but may want to come home once and a while. I felt so sorry about you being alone for this long, so I called up your old friend.what was his name? Robo? Oh yes! Hojo. He should be home 2 minutes after you finish reading this. I love you, Kagome! Tootles!  
  


_  
Love,  
  
_

_  
Mom_'  
  


  
Kagome gapped at the note like it just asked her to marry some illegal alien from Saskatchewan. She sighed in an irritated manner, "Why don't I just change my name to Kagome Hitorigurashi?!"  
  


  
"Who is this Frodo freak?" An irritated spoke up the shady part of the counter. Kagome let out a gasp of fright from, of course, some strange rapist sitting upon her counter space.. But the rapist sounded so familiar... Kagome's eyes narrowed into slits.

  
  
"The next time you do this, InuYasha," She said in exasperation, "I'll rip your ears off your head with the pliers." She turned on the kitchen lights that soon flooded the room in a light fluorescence.  
  


  
"C'mon, go-chan. Answer my question! Who is VOLVO?!!"  
  


  
Kagome sniggered at InuYasha's pronunciation of 'Hojo'. She wouldn't blame him. InuYasha only saw Hojo once a year... and that was quite enough. All three times InuYasha had acted like a jealous bastard. Doggie Dog world, eh?  
  


  
"And just what the hell, are you laughing at?!"  
  


  
InuYasha was now inches in front of Kagome's face with an im-so-not-in- the-mood-for-you-to-laugh-at-me-while-im-asking-you-who-Volvo-is. It was kind of hard for him to but the Volvo expression in there, but he did it.  
  


  
Before Kagome could retort to his ignorance, Hojo himself came into the kitchen with flowers and a purple care bear. "Oh.. Am I interrupting something?" Kagome jumped from what seemed to be the 900th time that day. "HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALL COMING IN HERE OUTTA NO WHERE?! Poof! There's Hojo! ITS CRAZY!!"  
  


        Hojo sweatdropped, "Kagome-chan, your door is open for the whole world to see..."

        Kagome looked up at him with the fish eye. "Do you _mind_—I'm having a panic attack here!"

  
And as Kagome continued her seizure on her mother's nice clean floor, InuYasha took it upon himself to talk to Hojo.  
  


  
"So... Mofo." He ground out through clenched teeth with his arms folded across his chest presuming his regular bad ass position. Hojo smiled cheerfully like the oblivious idiot he is.  
  


  
"It's Hojo. I remember you. You're Neko-Yoshi, aren't you? Glad to see you again, Yooooshiiii!" He looked like he was going to give InuYasha a bear hug. Ph33r.  
  


  
If it's one thing that really pisses InuYasha off, it's him being called a cat. By a girl's name, no less, the nerve! And the fact that Tinker Bell was about to hug him, really made him think twice if he was actually a guy, or just plain gay.  
  


  
Kagome popped up from the floor apparently done with her hyperventilating, seeing that her old pal was about to hug InuYasha (H/N: OoOoo, someone give InuYasha some ice for that burn). She hugged him instead.  
  


  
"Nice to see you again, Hojo." Kagome stated in a monotone voice, making her sound like she's been practicing to say it.  
  


  
Hojo hugged her back tightly, with InuYasha scowling loudly in protest, now remembering that he held objects in his hands. 

       "These are for you, Kagome-chan!" He stated happily, oblivious to the angry hanyou. 

       "Your mother sent-" 

       "Sent you over here to keep me company over the 2 months while my family is gone. So what's new?"  
  


  
They both walked into her living room sitting comfortably on the sofa. Temporarily forgetting InuYasha was there, he followed them in noislessly.  
  


  
"Your mother enrolled me into your school now, Kagome-chan! Even though I still live in Kyoto, next month my family is moving right here into Tokyo!" Hojo proclaimed.  
  


  
Kagome tried really hard not to reach for the nearest object, Souta's game controller, and repeatedly beat herself with it, but forced a smile instead. "Heh... Really now.." Looking twords InuYasha's direction, eyes almost begging for help.  
  


  
InuYasha had gotten so mad that some HOBO creature was going to keep HIS Kagome-chan company! ...Okay. So she wasn't his. Kikyou was his. InuYasha was grateful no one could hear his thoughts right then or he'd be knee deep in it.  
  


  
"Listen, Cocoa, You aren't spending ANY time with Kagome! I'll be the one keeping her company!" He yelled angrily, not exactly processing what he just said causing Kagome to go into reverie. Gnashing her teeth in a mindless manner.  
  


  
"It's Hojo." Said boy pointed out.  
  


  
"Feh. That's what I said."  
  


  
Kagome shot up like a rocket, apparently dismissed from her reverie.  
  


  
"WAIT! What do you mean you're the one going to 'keep me _company_'?!! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND INUYASHA! AND IT'S NOT ME! SO LEAVE MY HOUSE, AND DON'T SHOW YOURSELF ANYWHERE NEAR THIS PLACE AGAIN!!" Her eyes flooded with livid unshed tears that made InuYasha's heart splinter. He didn't think she'd take it so seriously. I mean, it's not like they were together or anything.  
  


  
"OI! What's your problem, bitch?! Why are you crying?!" He immediately wanted to shoot himself after those words. He just couldn't believe he had brought himself to say those words...

        Seeing Kagome stiffen and gasp at his hurtful words. He just wanted to make everything right again, before Kikyou. But knew deep inside of him, that there was a reason for being with the substitute. Kikyo, being that substitute.  
  


  
"Kagome, I.I.."  
  


  
In truth, he had never seen her cry. After the death of her father she kept rigid. He never knew how to handle a crying woman, especially when it was Kagome. The first girl to ever accept him for who he really was... and he just hurt her.  
  


  
InuYasha shamefully walked over to Kagome, ashamed at his words more then Kagome was, and patted her comfortably on her shoulder. Snaking his arms around her waist into a strong, yet warm and gentle embrace. Kagome froze at the action, shoving out of his grip.

      "Get off'a me..!" She finally managed to get free of his grip.  
  


  
"InuYasha..." She looked deep into his pools of amber eyes wishing she'd drown in them, but snapped out of the trance with a start from his cruel words. Tears once again welled up in her eyes as she continued on.  
  


  
"InuYasha, I want you out of my house..Hojo," Hojo looked sympathetically up twords Kagome with his sapphire orbs of happiness. He bit his lip in an angelic silence, "Yes, Kagome-chan?"  
  


  
"Lead InuYasha out. I want to speak of this no more." Running as fast as she could out of the room. The maple haired boy nodded to her command (H/N: Man, I envy Kagome. She's got that boy whipped like the family pig). A door slammed shut behind him, notifying the residents of the living room that the young girl had kept herself away.

        The sapphire-eyed young man frowned deeply as he saw InuYasha get up and start to follow his friend's footsteps. 

        "WAIT! Kagome--" Hojo stepped up and held InuYasha back from going after her.  
  


  
"LET GO OF ME!!!" Hojo didn't comply with his wish. Instead he had miraculously gathered the strength to push him down to the floor. Hojo's eyes were no longer friendly, but menacing instead. Revealing rage, hatred, and sorrow. His eyes narrowed dangerously, almost daring the silver-haired teenager to defy him.  
  


  
"You don't know what you've just done." Hojo spat out gruffly. Nope! Definitely not the 5-minutes-ago-Mofo.  
  


  
"You're crazy." InuYasha started to growl and once again tried to get past him to his heart-shattered friend, but Hojo still stood strong. Somehow.  
  


  
"Listen to her. Leave."  
  


  
"YOU CANT JUST-"  
  


  
"I said.. Leave."  
  


  
InuYasha didn't like this kind of Hojo. Was he a schizophrenic? He didn't want to find out. He stood up from the floor and walked out of the door with his head hung low, drained from his strength by the ashamed torture he put himself and his bestest friend through... He'd make sure Mofo got his, sooner or later!  
  


  
But what he didn't expect was to see someone, or some people, waiting for him outside.  
  


  
_But back inside the house...  
  
_

  
Hojo closed the door softly then turned around to face the living room.  
  


  
"Kagome, you can come out now."  
  


  
Kagome timidly crept from the shadows and leapt out at Hojo crying with all she's worth. Hojo held her in an embrace as his dear friend cried over some lousy jerk-off. 'Kagome meets the strangest people.' he thought to himself. But held her until her sobs quieted down.  
  


  
They soon got ready for bed, Hojo took Souta's room, and Kagome to her's.  
  


  
_Meanwhile, outside..._ (H/N: I could have stopped here but since I'm a trooper and this chapter was barely funny at all, Im just going to continue. I am oblivious to the screams of the mother and my desktop assistant. The taunting...OH THE TAUNTING!)

  
InuYasha heard the sobs of Kagome from inside the house. He felt so terrible and bedridden from being such a bastard. That he was.  
  


  
As the boy clad in a tight red muscle shirt and black dickies with chains walked down the shrine steps a noise from a nearby bush was heard.  
  


  
The hanyou watched the bush move around instantaneously with weird noises coming from it. He quirked an eyebrow and took a step back, when suddenly a familiar sky blue haired (that made no sense -_-), skinny girl in 70's clothes and glasses was thrown from the bush. Twigs and leaves were scattered here and there making her look like a hobo that time-traveled. Heh. Time traveled.  
  


  
"Crayon?" InuYasha asked the messed up hippy. "What in the 7 hells are you doing here?!"  
  


  
"Oh only-FUCKING-watching you be a POMPUS ASSHOLE!!," Crayon smiled. Oblivious to the odd looks that were practically radiating off of InuYasha's face. No one will ever get settled out with a girl that is armed with 70's contraptions and Tourette syndrome. "That in a nutshell."  
  


  
"Can somebody please help me out?!" A small squeaked voice came from the rustling bushes.  
  


  
"I swear the world is against me and Kikyou." InuYasha rolled his eyes, but inwardly groaned. When he was around her, his problems seemed to (H/N: erupt) settle. But when he was around friends, she seemed like the (H/N: Town's Bitch) laughing stock. What a hypocrite he was being. Krusty the clown would kill to own InuYasha's brain.  
  


  
Crayon visibly tried to punch the voice in the bush because of the saying of 'Kikyou's name. She pulled out the little kitsune from the bushes as it tried to pull the leaves from it's head and fuzzy tail.  
  


  
"Shippou... Escaped from Boot Camp in Guatemala I see. How do you like life on the outside?" InuYasha quirked to the boy that was a head smaller then him.

         Shippou wore camouflage jeans with a black baseball shirt hanging loose because it was unbuttoned, exposing his scratched and a bit blooded chest (from the twig scratches). It said on the front of the shirt in white letters '01' and the back said 'Benchwarmer'. His hair was nice and orange, as were his finger nails, that shown off his large hazel eyes. 

  
InuYasha laughed at his own statement (he was the only one), Shippou pulled out the last twig from his orange fuzzy tail and glared at him mentally drilling holes through his head.  
  


  
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" He screeched at a whispering level as to not disturb the residences. 

        "I'm telling you! Hitler was my sergeant! Now you tell me if you wouldn't like to shove a pineapple up his ass, any day." Shippou stated crossly, folding his arms over his bare chest. InuYasha broke down in laughter while Crayon giggled at the new information.  
  
"Besides... It's not easy escaping from the Feds that were there. I think Kagome will be relived to see me anyways. No one can stand you for so long InuYasha. And after what I just heard going on in there, I thank Kami-sama Hitler was my leader." Shippou's face turned sour as he barked his little speech a few inches from his face.  
  


  
Everyone knew Shippou was the peacemaker and runt of the bunch, but ruffling for him to scowl at you in a menacing manner got you in deep trouble. No one can handle a rebelling fox. Kagome was his idol and sisterly figure, when she goes he goes... Ballistic. Imagine how upset he was when he was dragged away from his last visit with Kagome just to be carried away to some Boot Camp from Davie Jones Locker.  
  


  
His anger was damn genuine now.  
  


  
InuYasha ceased laughing as Crayon had finished her fits of giggles long ago.  
  


  
"So you were spying on me." He stated slowly processing it through his own head matter-of-factly.  
  


  
"Yeah! Me and, the mumble mumble-Shippou tailed you here right after I, mumble mumble-found-mumble-him at school-mumble-hassling the new kid for a dollar. Mumble-BOY!" Crayon exclaimed proudly, Shippou censored her by placing a hand over her mouth at any random outbursts. As much as he loved hearing them here and at camp (H/N: sarcasm) he had to end it at a day's rest someday. (H/N: Fill in the mumbles)  
  


  
"That's great. But why did you do it?" InuYasha prodded, getting a bit annoyed talking about something he would expect from him. Like 'Why would you hang around that sleazy bitch? If you wanted a creampuff you can buy one for real cheap at the Stop and Go store.'

  
  
Or something along the lines of 'Wow, I knew you had dog like instincts, but picking out a slut heads above the crowd really shines the cherry on the sundae, don't it?' Instead, it was something he really didn't expect.  
  


  
"I saw you kiss Kikyou, and there is no denying it."  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
_How could you, InuYasha_?! But wait. Where did InuYasha kiss Kikyou? NO NOT LIKE THAT YOU _DILLHOLES_! Like on the face. Ew. That's just _sick_. _THE IMAGES! NOOOOOOOO!!!!_  
  


  
INUYASHA/KAGOME **_FOREVER_**! Screw the poor bastards who think less of them.  
  
This took too long to right. I know it and so do you. But I doubt it'll happen again. I should post like once a week. Woo! Chapter four. I'll probably get shot for not updating.

  
  
No. Hitler was not really his leader. Shippou was being a smart allic. Sorry if it offended you, so don't mistake me or point fingers at me. My ancestors were hurt too, ya know. Not like I knew who they were, but still..  
  


  
Okay, most of the percentage of my reviews (more like all of them) voted for the sane pairings. Sane pairings it is!  
  


  
Now onto the review responses!!  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
**_loozer-09_** - Heh heh heh.. I remember zeh humping squirrel! Good idea! But maybe it'll be another horny beast, oh yes, another horny beast.. Yeah! Isn't Sesshoumaru cute in almost every story!! He'll be in the next chapter as well, for he will be apart of my master plan to humiliate Kikyou.. So will Naraku, Shippou and Kagome.  
  


  
More insults to the bitch to come! AHOY!  
  


  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^  
  


  
**_EvilBunnies_** - Kazaa! Now there is a Website I always forget to visit. I hear good things about it, like the downloading and stuff. But I remember a funny thing I did last weekend. I personally went up to a sales assistant at Sun Coast and grabbed him by his black shirt demanding to know where he hid the InuYasha movies. Evidentially, it worked!! But he said they don't sell them, so they pre-ordered a copy of the next InuYasha DVD with episodes 22, 23, and 14. That sucks, because I wanted the movie. ;_; I hate America.  
  


  
*GASP!* The 3rd InuYasha movie is coming out that soon?! *gets swirly eyed and faints*  
  


  
*after 30 good minutes of resuscitation and a box of fresh air* where in the world are all the bishies..? Oh! Anyways. I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl a couple of weekends ago! IT WAS SO AWESOME! I think Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depth is the cutest! Followed by William Turner/Orlando Bloom, of course. The parts where the un-dying pirates aboard the Black Pearl turned into skeletons in the moonlight had to be one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. Especially the battle at the cave in the end. The whole movie was so awesome! ^_~ And that last comment about Kikyou dying with a spoon will be upheld. Except she won't die.. *pouts* but she might just get tortured though..  
  


  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^  
  


  
**_ Sailor Universe_** - Thanks for the compliments! I enjoy praise. ^_^ I know, it's obvious that Sango & Miroku should be together forever. I mean, it's like Saturday without a morning.  
  


  
Amande: Saturday has a morning?!  
  


  
Avoiding the outburst.. If I ever see Kikyou for-real with InuYasha, I would dig up Bob Hope's remains and eat them.

  
  
Kouga/Rin is a biiiiiig no-no. Rin got eaten by wolfs for the love of Gods-I-Can't-Pronounce! It's a messed up suggestion, I feel bad suggesting it.  
  


  
And finally, Ayame! **major spoilers** Ayame is part of Kouga's wolf tribe when she was a little girl. She promised to Kouga that when she left she would meet up with him again and end up engaged to him. When she does meet up with him again, she forgets about who she is. And since he tails around Kagome calling her 'his woh-man' Ayame got jealous and automatically hated her. Kagome acted as a friend to Ayame, but no matter what, she just hated her more. But sooner or later, Ayame finds out that Kagome just wants to stay friends with Kouga and nothing more. Ayame respects this decision of her's and starts to be her friend. At the end of the episode, Kouga actually does remember promising to Ayame he would be her fiancée, and living under a rainbow I think it was.. I don't know.something with a rainbow. Ayame has red hair and is a wolf demon. ^_^ That concludes the spoiler!  
  


  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^  
  


  
**_Anti [.] Poptarts_** - Kikyou is the half priced bargain bin whore! Blow darts for everyone! Mwahahaha...  
  


  
No need to cross your fingers any longer! ^_~ Kagome and InuYasha are going to be together, and there shall be fluff, and Fluffy! INU/KAG TILL I DIE AND LUCIFER POSSESSES ME!  
  


  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^  
  


  
**_Three-Letter-Word_** - Of course I remember who you are! I remember everyone! No one gets left behind when I'm around! Unless, it's Kikyou. _ Yeah, She's an exception. *watches your little spork minions chase after her* Go number three! GO NUMBER THREE!! WOOO!!  
  


  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^

**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_** - I'll mention you eeeeeverytime you review. That I shall! Thanks for the compliments, too! Oh yeah, the strange think with Yura is that when it glints in the sunlight/moonlight it always turns out to be a light green. So I just thought her hair was green, and that's what I put. ^_^ I think green suites her fine, anyways.  
  


  
       Jaken and Kikyou on a blind date?! Such... such... 3VILNESS!! *jots it down in a notepad* OoOoOoOoo. I think I can set up a blackmail triangle somewhere along the lines. Thanks for the idea!!!  
  


  
      AND THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! ^_^  
  


  
      **PLEASE KEEP THEM ALL COMING EVERYONE**!!  
  


  
       **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
        That concludes everything now.  
  


  
Except for the fact that peanuts are stuck in the crevices of my keyboard.  
  


  
       And I can't get them out either without hitting the escape key.  
  


  
       Peanut? Post? Peanut?  Post? Peanut? Post? SO HARD TO CHOOSE!! @_@  
  


  
       One more thing I need to mention, Kagome said "Maybe I should change my name to Kagome Hitorigurashi!". Lemme specify that 'Hitorigurashi' means "living alone". It's almost very similar to Kagome's last name 'Higurashi' isn't it? You learn something new everyday.

  
  
Your lord and master,  
  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	5. How the Wolf Angered the Dog

       **Disclaimer**: *is seen sketching a picture of little Poison Ivy and Periwinkle vines brutally killing Kikyo* Well... I sure as hell didn't do it...  
  


  
O_O  
  


  
I've decided to update early because of all the reviews I have gotten! Thank you so much! It really made my day!! Except for the review that thought Crayon was insulting. Lemme' respond to that person right now, so things can get a bit cleared up.  
  


  
**Green Lantern(1)**- I'm sorry that what Crayon says is insulting, but the truth behind Tourette Syndrome is the fact that, well, what she says is what Tourettes mainly _is_. It's a basic default that people who have it, can't take over their uncontrollable outbursts. Like what Crayon says, she can't help saying it, because that's basically what Tourette Syndrome is. A person with uncontrollable outbursts. And about ADD. My biological-father has ADD. And believe me, I know what that is, and I know you do too. So I won't go into that. Other then any of this, I can't lower Crayon's futile..language. She's actually supposed to have it at random, actually. Might aswell turn it up then. Sorry about any confusion this may have brought up! Thanks for telling me what you have to say. n_n  
  


  
Okay, with that out of the way! *pulls out a microphone (Nabiki Tendo style)* KIKYO-BASHING AHEAD! All Kikyo fans please precede to the nearest exit... I repeat, ALL Kikyo fans get the fuck out of here. *looks around* Looks like the coast is clear to continue. PUBLIC HUMILIATION to come... Remember to smile, everyone!  
  


  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
**Dirty Sneakers  
  
**

        Chapter 5: _How The Wolf Angered The Dog_

  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
'_What... the... fuck?!_' InuYasha's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. '_How did.. HE find out?! I would have thought the bleachers were secret enough.._' Crayon cringed and started to twitch. She then turned to InuYasha struggling to contain herself from kicking dog-boy in the groin.

  
"POMP--POMPUS ASSHOLE!!" She started to itch behind her ear to contain her fairly loud outburst, "JACKASS! HALF-BREED.. GUTTER WHORE!!"

         At the sign of InuYasha's face turning from anger to sorrow, she decided it was best to go home. It was already past 8 o'clock and her little sister, Pastel, would be loaded with marshmallows soon if someone wasn't there to stop her first. 

        Crayon jogged down the rest of the Higurashi's shrine steps and high- tailed it on home, not even bothering to keep herself silent along the way.  
  


  
Shippou watched Crayon's retreating back. After she was out of sight, Shippou turned to InuYasha silently and glared at him. Wishing, just wishing, that he would stare some sense into him. Apparently not, for InuYasha caught his gaze and gruffly snorted in his general direction.  
  


  
"You think so too, huh Tails?" He spat out like it was poison to his tongue. InuYasha narrowed his eyes waiting for Shippou's reply.  
  


  
Shippou, being the '_kind_' and '_intellectual_' person he was, decided to ignore that little nickname and avoid the subject. He knew it was InuYasha's weak spot.. Being called a 'half-breed', and all. 

        He even heard Kikyo use that name, while talking to some white-trash princesses... whoops, cheerleaders on her squad when referring to him. Kagome would never do that to Inuyasha. She was always there to defend him somehow.. Even if she was angry at him, she was still by his side. Shippou thought otherwise, this time. 

        He knew of her little crush on InuYasha since the 2nd grade when they all first met Shippou for the first time.. But if he knew Kagome well, then something bad.. _REAL_ bad, was going to happen to a certain someone.  
  


  
"You're turning into one of _them_ InuYasha." Shippou said, avoiding InuYasha's last question.  
  


  
"Feh. Turning into _who_?" IuYasha replied, stressing the word 'who'. He didn't know what Shippou was going at, but he hoped it wasn't leading to the subject of making Kagome cry.  
  


  
Shippou out stretched his finger into the black night pointing at the sidewalk where it was silent and vacant.  
  


  
Just then, a pair of hyperactive preps with the blonde hair and googly eyes passed by the shrine steps, oogling at Shippou's bare chest. "The people who deceived you from the beginning. Since I met you, the people who cared about you most were lost somehow, somehow, in a frenzy with your ego."  
  


  
InuYasha ripped his gaze away from the giggling and talkative beach trash, turning to Shippou in hopes of retorting him back...

  
  
..Only to find that Shippou was gone. InuYasha turned back to the spot where the preps were at last, but found out they were nowhere to be seen.  
  


  
Suddenly a loud 'riiip' sound followed by Shippou's physically disturbed voice.  
  


  
"Stupid bitches! You better get on outta' here before I spoon those wide eyes outta your head and feed them to Naraku...I SAID SCAT!!" The sound of hurrying footsteps were noisily heard followed by a string line of curses from the red head boy himself.  
  


  
A few moments of silence went bye, and InuYasha was still pondering what to do about this whole situation. He walked home in silence, as to not wake his brother, and fell into a light sleep.  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.** Tuesday:_ Mrs._ (_Soul_) _Piper's English Class_ **.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
Kagome had phoned Sango that morning to tell her that Hojo Omega (I actually thought this was his last name. You know why? Because when Hojo first appeared in the episodes, they said 'Hojo the mega..hunk.' I thought they said Omega. Hojo Omega. But I don't know if he's got a last name anyways, so this is his name from now on. ^_^), her friend, was staying for the next two months in Tokyo.  
  


  
Sango wanted to shoot Kagome, of course, because Hojo was like a younger version of her Jii-chan. '_..and that's why they call it waffles._' was the last Sango heard from him  before she beat him over the head with her spoon.  
  


  
But on this dark and cloudy Tuesday morning, they had taken Hojo to class. He was partnered with Sango and Kagome to act out characters from the Red Badge of Courage.. They all changed the words and made it into their own play.  
  


  
It was raining harder and harder each moment that flew bye in that class. The teachers figured Hiten lost another game of 21 to Naraku as if they both were in on it. Hiten must be mad, they thought, and went back to their cereal bars.  
  


  
Mrs. Piper looked up from her stack of already graded papers to her window. It was really raining hard outside and if you were a tourist, you'd think it was night-time from the looks of it. 

        Turning her head back to the class, she saw that some of the students were already sleeping. _'Always does the trick._' Mrs. Piper smiled, and pulled out her rubix cube.  
  


  
InuYasha sat by Miroku, discussing his recent behavior to his best friend. Miroku already knew about it, and told him to shut up. So now Miroku was flirting with Sergeant Sango and Colonel Kagome.

        The two girls used their pinky fingers as swords and started poking Miroku and Hojo into a tickling fit until they were both rolling around on the floor, crying like babies.

  
  
InuYasha sat fuming and griping at his desk seeing Hojo poke Kagome in the tummy every now and then. No one else really cared because they were either asleep, or cheering on Mrs. Piper to fix the rubix cube. But then they shortly fell asleep after a while.  
  


  
He watched as they all had fun poking and reciting lines from the book. '_If only I didn't see Kikyo, maybe I would be the one tickling Kagome instead of Hobo.._' InuYasha sadly thought to himself. 

        He shook it out of his head before he got second thoughts about leaving Kikyo. '_No. Kikyo is my girlfriend and I'll stick_ (H/N: like glue?) _with her no matter what.. Nothing these people can do can change me._' These people? Since when did he refer to his best friends as _these people_? Since now.  
  


  
Sango was the first to sit up from that 'tedious battle scene'. Still giggling a bit, she wondered if InuYasha was getting jealous yet..

  
  
"Girls win," Kagome sat up and high-fived Sango. 

        They both blinked at the two boys who looked like they were dead. Sango poked the pulse on Miroku's neck with the tip of the book. Kagome giggled because she was propped up against the wall and using Hojo's stomach as a footrest. He didn't mind though, he was still trying to catch his breath.  
  


  
Sango edged down closer to Miroku's face, but didn't notice that his eyebrows twitched that sort of way..  
  


  
"Boo." Miroku's eyes snapped open quick enough to see her Red Badge Of Courage book thrown behind her in complete surprise. And to get a quick--  
  


  
"HENTAI!" Sango pummeled Miroku until he was really unconscious. Causing Kagome to giggle more and Hojo to laugh. Soon enough, Sango got around to laughing too, and they were all squirming on the floor in laughter. (H/N: *el sob* I just love these moments..)

  
  
Minus InuYasha, who round-eyed gawked at Kagome's strange behavior. Not to mention, Miroku's and Sango's. Something wasn't right here. InuYasha brushed it off as stress (H/N: Like most of us do) and continued reading from his book.  
  


  
Suddenly, the door burst open to reveal a soggy teenage boy who looked about the same age as InuYasha. He had dazzling azure tinted eyes, wet black hair that was held in a high pony tail, and a built chest, but not too muscular by the looks. He wore a brown baggy shirt that said 'Bull Dozer' and had a Monster Jam truck on the back that resembled a bull (I love that monster truck. For me its _WAY_ better then the Grave Digger), but was also wet due to the heavy rain. He wore baggy black over-alls that hid his shoes, making him look really handsome.  
  


  
"Am... I in the right class?" The guy blinked and looked at all the sleeping people at their desks except for the silver haired teen. He was also oblivious to the people on the floor.  
  


  
Mrs. Piper looked up from her rubix cube to the adorable guy in the doorway. She brightly smiled and led him inside of her classroom.  
  


  
"You are the new student, neh?" The boy nodded his head in recognition and took another step forward not noticing the raven-haired girl on the floor that was looking up at him. The boy tripped and landed on the floor next to her with an 'oof!'.  
  


  
"_Ow_! Watch where you sit, wen--Oh hello.." His eyes brightened at the presence of the most gorgeous girl he had ever tripped over. He felt himself slowly blush for the fist time, in a long time. 

        "I'm so sorry I should have watched where I was going, and--"

  
  
Kagome smiled at him knowingly and waved her hand as if calling off the subject.  
  


  
"No you are right, I should have moved out of the way. I'm sorry." Kagome's smiled never faltered as she outstretched her hand to the boy next to her. 

       "Konnichiwa, I'm Kagome. Kagome Higurashi."  
  


  
InuYasha's eyes narrowed from behind his book, as if he was trying to read it, just daring this wolf to even touch Kagome. Too bad for him though, because Kouga was too entranced by her, himself. Dog boy growled startling some kids out of their sleep, groggy-eyed and pissed.  
  


  
The boy smiled lightly at her offer of her hand and shook it all the while thinking of how beautiful her name was. "I..Uh, yes.. um, hmm, I-I'm Kouga. Kouga Ookami." The boy stuttered finally remembering his name and acting as if he just found out that it was his.

  
  
InuYasha broke of pieces of his desk. Boy, was Kouga going to get it later on..  
  


  
Sango, Miroku and Hojo crawled behind Kagome and waved at Kouga from the floor or on their knees.  
  


  
Kagome blinked. "Oh yes! Kouga, these are my friends, Sango Hiraikotsu, Miroku Houshi, and Hojo Omega. Guys, this is Kouga Ookami."  
  


  
Sango visibly smirked at her lot in luck. '_Yet another one who is tripping over their tongues for my best friend... Oh this is good. Reaaaaally good! What now?...GIRL TALK!_'  
  


  
"Kagome if I may speak to you for a moment. This'll only be a moment you guys, why don't you talk to Kouga and get to know him." Sango was already dragging Kagome to the other side of the room without a choice on her part. Kagome just waved to the three stooges in a worried expression.  
  


  
Sango plopped Kagome on the floor again and lay out on her stomach next to her.  
  


  
"So what do you think?" Sango inquired, jerking her thumb in Kouga's general direction. The boys apparently gotten into a conversation where Hojo was getting slapped for being a stupid ingrate. Wow, Kouga fit in with the best of them already.  
  


  
Kagome looked up at Sango. "Of Kouga? He's pretty cool. Has a great taste in Monster trucks and the boys seem to like him," Kagome said lifting up her head to witness that Kouga and Miroku were now full pouncing on Hojo. Must be the waffle history again..

  
  
Sango smirked down at Kagome's face. Sango opened her mouth and started singing that small song from Mrs. Congeniality. "You want to _hug_ _him_. You want _hold_ _him_. You want to love him. You want to _kiss hi_-- Mpphhf!" She was cut off because of Kagome's hand being slapped to her mouth like she just recited an Egyptian curse.

  
  
"Sango-chan shut-up! That's not what I meant! Not at all!!" You can tell from a mile back that if Kagome turned anymore red, she could be mistaken for a Canadian wrecking ball. 

        "Now let's go back before--" Kagome was cut off by a certain white haired boy landing in front of her face, with a full-blown scowl and all.  
  


  
"What does this boy have that I don't?" growled a fuming, nearly pouting, InuYasha. Geez. So much for cutting down to the chase...

        Kagome's expression turned to one from happy, to sad, to anger-from-hell. When he didn't receive an from her, Sango glared mad-as- hell at InuYasha.  
  


  
"Leave us be, InuYasha! Go back to your hormonal cheerleader and leave Kag-chan alone! Can't you tell that you've hurt her enough?" Sango quipped, silver-haired teen bustling in a mental argument. A scowl swept across his face, smearing his guilt-ridden expression into anger to match his cocky attitude.  
  


  
"This has nothing to do with you Sango! SO STAY OUT!" His voice raised in volume as he stood up from squatting and loomed over Sango like she was but a mere shadow. But still she stood, followed by Kagome, soon starting a verbal frenzy between the three.  
  


  
Miroku, Hojo, and Kouga gave each other a worried glance before going over to the three people on the other side of the room. Nearly instantly they ran over to them and held fast to stop the three from arguing. 

  
  
"Neko-Yasha,_ stop that_!!"  
  


  
"Calm down everyone!"  
  


  
"Get away from Kagome-chan, dog breath!" Kouga's fist flew twords InuYasha's cheek, and successfully gave him the first hit. Eyes widening in rage, InuYasha stepped back from the impact of the blow, holding his now bruising cheek with his left hand carefully. Kouga's eyes blazed in fire as he mentally dared this dumbass to hit him back.  
  


  
Miroku looked at the huffing Kouga then back at InuYasha.  
  


  
"InuYasha, you must learn not to pressure subjects on people who are your friends, especially. This is not how you should repay us when we've been by your side for many years. Keep this up, and you'll be lonesome one day, my friend." Miroku stated, in a scary, monk like sorta' way. Gaining stares from some, but got pride from Sango.  
  


         InuYasha wasn't impressed, so he slapped the comforting arm of his friend away from his shoulder blade with rage. 

  
Kagome's feelings were doubling over for Kouga as she stood up for her. For her! Not for some lousy bitch, but for HER! She hadn't been defended in such a while that the emotions she felt for InuYasha helping her, were slowly coming back again. Except that someone else was caring enough to get her through this. Not as if her friends weren't enough, they helped her out whenever it was needed and even through the times it wasn't.. But she couldn't help but believe someone purely like her, for herself. 

        Kagome Higurashi. 

        Not some sultry, two-timing, mongrel chasing, goody-goody, greasy haired, anorexic wannabe Barbie posing as some no good skimpy lingerie modeling pansy bitch of the 21st century who couldn't hold up a grade or her tube top.

  
  
Without warning Kagome clung to Kouga and started crying. Why she was crying, she didn't know. She just wanted to be as happy as she was again... before Kikyo. 

        Kouga somehow seemed to know what she was thinking. His azure eyes softened as he looked down at the beauty in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her torso and rocked her gently back and forth, stroking her hair to help her calm down until her sobs were no more then tiny hiccups.

       (H/N: Remember! Kag/Inu FOREVER! I'm just bending the rules a bit... ehehe... *backs away from the enraged people with guns and things that hurt*)  
  


  
Her friends stopped everything they were doing to look at Kouga embracing Kagome. Hojo smiled like a fool, felling abit jealous of this new friend of his, but at the same time felt honor twords this grateful man to be hugging Kagome. Miroku and Sango smirked at one another, Miroku took it the wrong way and just when the going got good..  
  


  
"HENTAI!!!" *thump*  
  


  
Miroku: @_@ uugghh...  
  


  
....the going got bad.  
  


  
"Bastard.." Sango kicked him stiffly in the gut. She looked back up at Kagome and her new friend as InuYasha was looking so pissed that his claw-like nails were piercing his skin, drawing warm droplets of blood. She sat down next to Miroku as she saw InuYasha walk up to Kouga.  
  


  
He seemed to be seething out smoke from his doggy ears. If any more angry, he would have been anyway.  
  


  
Kouga stood protectively in front of Kagome after she was done crying. Every sobs she had InuYasha figured it was him behind those tears, and he was over whelmed with pain inside of himself. He needed to break these two up before this Wimpy-wolf claimed the heart of Kagome. (H/N: I am somehow over powered to go see Pirates of the Caribbean again..)  
  
"Back..Away from _her_ you wimpy-_WOLF_!" InuYasha flexed his claws, just adding more tense drama to the scene. Picture it. It was raining and thundering very badly, Kouga was standing broadly ahead of Kagome, InuYasha was acting bad-ass, Sango had a dramatic look on her face, kneeling worriedly over Miroku, and Miroku was..well, unconscious.  
  


  
Just when the big bad wolf was about to retort, the bell had somehow been heard over the severe raining...And that's the scene everyone from his or her desks woke up to.

  
  
Mrs. Piper looked away irritably from watching her 'live soap' as she nicknamed it, and stood in front of the confused and slightly-scared-of-InuYasha's-current-position, classroom.  
  


  
"Everyone, this is Kouga Ookami. He is our school's new student, so I want you all to treat him with a little dignity and a little respect, please." She said, and went back to her rubix cube that no one will **EVER** figure out.  
  


  
Kouga got some respect, all right. The girls (and a guy, can you guess who?) started giving him those strip-tease whistles. He didn't blush, but narrowed his eyes instead and growled to all the guys who seemed to be giving him nasty looks. They all flurried out of the classroom to their next class, leaving InuYasha to tail behind in his thoughts.  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.** (I'm just going to get all their other classes over with before..) _Lunch Time_ **.,:-'-:,**  
  


  
After every one had stopped bawling out on each other, with the fist flying and some clothes being ripped (oo la la ^-~) they had actually remembered that it was soon lunchtime, and InuYasha once again met up with (H/N: his mangy monkey hot wing) Kikyo who seemed to be snarling at Kagome. But settled down when InuYasha sat down next to her at the cheerleader's slab, while the girls oogled at him.

        He snuggled close to Kikyo getting pure jealousy or '_awwws_' out of her friends.   
  


  
_But at the territory table of seven_...  
  


  
Hojo and Kouga had been introduced (or in Hojo's case, re-introduced) to Sesshoumaru and Naraku. They had been sitting at their table again that week because of the 'wreaking stench of the hormonal bitch's perfume (H/N: if you can call it that)'.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru just came to the conclusion that relevance to his brother can't be proven until the DNA testing gets back in the mail.  
  


  
"There is no way in hell that someone can be *that* attracted to Kikyou without wearing a bee mask," Sesshoumaru stated sulkily. "Why must he make a fool out of what's left of his family?"  
  


  
"Maybe he just keeps her by his side just to prove that, you know.. He's got some turf." Hojo said, very un-Hojo like. 

        Everyone stared wide- eyed at the boy who, an hour before, was making declarations on how his uncle Finger Binger should not have lost that log rolling competition for the Little Miss Margarine Pageant. Guess someone didn't get the memo that 'Miss' did not refer to his uncle Finger Binger, who was coincidentally, a transvestite.  

        Hojo had stopped that conversation when he had noticed Kouga and Miroku with sporks within their reach.

    
  
Naraku looked up from his arm wrestling match he was having with Sango. Apparently he lost for not paying attention, thus granting a signed I.O.U to Sango for 75$ and a quarter (Sango bet the quarter). He looked up to Hojo with a curious expression, as did Kagome, Kouga, and Miroku who were currently trying to comfort Sesshoumaru.  
  


  
"What are you suggesting, Oh-Disenabled-One?" Naraku said in his deep voice white raising an eyebrow.  
  


  
"Yes, Hojo. What exactly is going on through that mind of yours?" Kagome said. Everyone nodding in agreement with her.  
  


  
Hojo smirked devilishly and licked his lips in thought.  
  


  
"Why not try and defy those who defy the ones who were their former friends?"  
  


  
Naraku and Sesshoumaru exchanged glares to one another before trying to rack their brains of what this meant. Miroku looked at Hojo quizzically.

  
  
"English, my dear friend, English."  
  


  
Sango dropped her sandwich back on the crappy tin-foil. "Miroku, lets hear what he's gotta say about this.. It sounds like an awfully good plan to just let fly away, if I have it figured out." She said, Miroku nodding in approval. "Very well, my orchid." His hand kept going lower and lower until... until... uh. Sango gave a cry of helplessness as Miroku beamed from his seat. 

        Pervert: 1 - Spoon less Women: nada  
  


  
"I think what the pansy means," Kouga spoke up, getting a glare from Hojo and a snicker from everyone else. "Is that we should make their lifes as miserable as everyone else's is when they leave the Studio of the Late Late Show with Conan O' Brian." (H/N: It's not called the Late Late Show for nothing.)  
  


  
"Great idea, Kouga-kun!"  
  


  
"Certainly is, my friend!"  
  


  
"Just what I was saying.."

  
  
"I bet this could all work out according to plan, too."

  
  
"Like miasma."  
  


  
"Oh yeah!" The whole table smirked evily as they began to ramble on about torturing market-priced whores and over protective watchdogs on school campus, when from behind then 7 luminous figures, loomed over their table behind them. One of them from first period that had been whistling at Kouga was there within the 7 of them. Smiling more then ever.  
  


  
Sango chuckled. 'They must've over heard our conversation... perfecto! This'll be better then one could ever expect!'  
  


  
"So, the almighty Shichinin-tai have returned."

  
  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,  
  
**

  
_Cliffhanger_..WOO HOO! The Shichinin-tai kick _ass_. I just couldn't leave them out of my story. The Kikyo humiliating hasn't started yet, but believe me, this is where the party starts..!  
  


        There will be atleast 30 more InuYasha characters I will be cramming in here. (That's just a rough estimate)

  
This was long to write, it only took me two 1/2 hours to write. I can't believe I wrote so much for one chapter. Oh well! I hope you enjoyed it anyhow, because the next chapter will either come out this Friday or next Monday. It depends on my mood and the percentage of inspiration I get.  
  


  
ONWARD MARCH! To the Review Responses!  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
_Since FF.net is putting numbers to authors with the same Pen Names, I'm just going to add your number (if you have one, that is) in the parentheses, because I know it can piss you off to already have the blasted things there in the first place, right? _T-T_ I feel for you all..  
  
_

  
**_lindy*girl_** (_anonymous_) - OoOoOoo... *writes it all down in a note pad* Thanks for the lovely, *ahem* ideas. I'll hope to use all of those, and if I do, I'll give you credit for them, that I will. And I, as well, think that Kikyou would love the 'chocolates'! *cackles evilly like Washu*  
  


  
**_Hokuto_**(**_1_**) - Thanks! Still lovin' the praise! :D  
  


  
**_Detective CJ_** - I'm so glad you like my writing skillz. I try to make it as understandable as possible, and for readers like you, I'm glad I get the compliments. `-'  
  


  
**_shorty40 _**(_anonymous_) - Sesshoumaru is pretty hot, but in my case, Hiten takes the cake.. Besides, If I said anything about Sesshoumaru other then he's hot in almost everyone's fanfics, my older sister would shoot me. *whispers* But I do agree with you though! *goes back to speaking in a normal done* 

        *shakes head* I can't believe that Kikyo just doesn't give InuYasha up. Vice versa. That's why she's a slut in my story of course! Tee hee! Bitches shall not rue the day no longer. I'm going to put InuYasha through a train of guilt trips. He deserves that, too.  
  
**_Girlwithoutastory_** - Woah-woah! O_O Take it ea-zay on the doughnuts. ^_^ Thanks for your nice compliments! P.S. I'm going to R&R your story "PenPal Lovers" as soon as I get a chance. It's seems really interesting!  
  


  
**_rain_** (_anonymous_) - Oh yeah! Another Kag & Inu lover! :D I'm still getting used to the fact that there are more people out there who think InuYasha and Kagome are meant to be. Like loozer-09 stated in a review a chapter ago, putting Kikyou to sudden death would seem stupid... So I'm going to torture her! And if you have any ideas or suggestions, may they be stupid or not, I can sure use them. ^_^ Thanks for your compliments!  
  


  
**_Three-Letter-Word_** - Really? *blinks* I guess I should specify more, neh?   
  


  
**_Darkkitty_** (_anonymous_) - I can so relate to that. Kikyo is a whore, and InuYasha should be damned to even speak her name. Right? I'd think so.. And InuYasha *can* and *will* burn in hell if he doesn't choose Kagome. Heh heh... Don't worry about outbursts, I love outbursts. Crazy ramblings of the people that are insanely awesome, or insane period! I hope this chapter was long enough for you and your Dementuors.   
  


  
**_ Divine-Heart _**- Thanks! I shall continue until the end! ..Then I shall cry.   
  


  
**_Lylli Riddle_** - I like that whole paragraph suggestion you gave me. *thinks for a moment* ... Sure! I can only hope that I can use that! And if/when I do, I'll give you credit for it. It depends on where this is all leading. I have the plot, but I guess I can shove another thing in with the story. Thanks again for the suggestion, I enjoyed reading it!  
  


  
Ew...I haven't seen the episode where Kikyo kissed InuYasha.. *cringes* ThEy KiSsEd?! BLERGH!! ~_~ *faints from over dosage of nasty images*  
  


  
**_loozer-09_** - Almost everyone will humiliate Kikyou in their own special little ways..! *cackles evilly like the Mad Washu*  
  


  
InuYasha is blind, isn't he? Jakotsu will have to kick some sense into him, shouldn't he? *cackles even louder*  
  


  
**_criss_** (**_cas8994999@aol.com_**) (_anonymous_) - That I shall! and Thanks!!  
  


  
**_Baka-Ryu_** - The insane pairings I would only want to see are things like Kagome/Naraku (only if it's for extreme humor, everything else according to this can kiss my ass :D), or Miroku/Ayame (only if one of them dies in the end, or if it's for humor).

  
  
Hojo + OOC = Much fun  
  


  
Hojo's personality will most likely reappear sooner or later. I'd added a touch of it in this chapter with the devilishly smirking part. I've never seen Hojo smirk.... EVER! And it's wierd. Thanks for the complimentos! :)  
  


  
**_Serena_**(**_71_**) - I shall keep up everything to it's maximum for your enjoyment. ^_^ Kikyo will get her licking and InuYasha will be put through more guilt, and loooootsa other stuff. Heh heh... stuff...  
  


  
**_Kiawatha Amara_** - I hope you liked this extra long chapter!   
  


  
**_LoLo_**(**_9_**) - I jumped my friend and hugged him to death once when I was younger (no kissy-kissy, bleeeeh ._.). But then again, he was a pervert like Miroku so I had to cut back from doing that again. I didn't have the heart to make Naraku, Kanna, Kagura or Sesshoumaru evil. Atleast.. not until they get their parts to torture Kikyo. Bwahahahaha!  
  


  
Kouga has arrived. ^_^ Rin shall come in later. Next chapter, I hope. If not, then the one after that...  
  


  
Godamnit. I have to wait so long for movies to come out. ,_, That drags my hopes down, ALOT. Oh well. I guess I'll have to wait. But thanks for giving me the goods on it, I really appreciate it! ^_^ And Florida DOES rule, when our guns are not taken away. But Florida rules anyways.  
  


  
I like your idea on the "tying the bastard up to the well" fore-plan. That would be interesting, neh? Kinda like in the movie "Heavyweights" when the fat kids tied up their Staff Counselor, Lars, to the tree, ripped open his shirt, covered him in honey, and left him for the bears to feed upon. But then he screamed bloody murder when the dear came and started licking his chest for the honey. Woo hoo! Such good memories..

  
  
**_Sailor Universe_**(**_3_**) - I don't know if you read the bottom part of my last Author's note, but I specified that "Hitorigurashi" means, "living alone". A little inside info in which I've mentioned in the last chapter. I haven't really thought of a last name of InuYasha... I guess it'll be Ninmenjuushin. Which means (and I will repeat it later) "Beast in human form". Appropriate? Hell yeah.  
  


  
My next update besides this one, shall be either this Friday or next Monday. If not then, then I don't know when, but it'll be soon.  
  


  
It's good you aren't changing your vote, even if you did, people would attack and kill you. *looks at Darkkitty's Dementuors* they look like they hurt.. eep! _  
  


  
Miroku/Sango kicks ass! :D Oh yeah.. I'm so not changing that though. They were made for each other. ^_^  
  


  
**_Maiden Of The Moon_** - And the strange thing is, after reading your review this morning, I did update. ^_^  
  


  
**_THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR REVIEWING_**!!!! ^_^  
  


  
**_INUYASHA + KAGOME FOREVER_**! Remember that.  
  


  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
Alas, all good things come to an end... BUT THIS ISN'T OVER YET TILL THE BITCH DIES! *grabs Kikyo by the neck and aims a magnum she stole from her sister's drawer to her head* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  


  
_Amande_: ...Uh, Hirari... *picks up the phone* Offhand, do you know if 9-1-1 is the right number to call for a straight jacket?  
  


  
_Me_: *drops Kikyo to the floor with a loud thud, she tries to escape but the chains wrapped around her whole body with the cement brick tied at the end don't do her good* Yes, indeed it is.  
  


  
_Amande_: *puts the phone down* Hey isn't that Kinkyo *snickers from Hirari* you got there..? *slowly pulling out a sharp star out of her pocket*  
  


  
_Me_: Yeah, so? *kicks her in the head, making a large bruise appear*  
  


  
_Readers_: *laugh wickedly*  
  


  
_Me_: *looks around* Don't you ever feel like you're being watched...?  
  


  
_Amande_: Every damn day.  
  


  
_Michael Jackson_: I always feel like..! Somebody's watchin' me! And I got no privacy, WOO oOo.  
  


  
_Me & Amande_: *backing away slowly*

  
  
_Slim Shady_: That's nonsense! Go in gaffle the money and run to one of ya aunt's cribs, borrow her damn dress and one of her blonde wigs. Tell her you need a place to say, you'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with-  
  


  
_Conscience_: Godamnit, I told you to **LEAVE**!  
  


  
_Slims Shady_: *huffs* *goes*  
  


  
_Me_: Well, I have to get going to. The wench is coming home soon.. *walks away*  
  


  
_Amande_: *sits in silence for a minute with Conscience*_ OH NO_! The phone isn't hung up! *leaves in a flurry*  
  


  
_ Conscience_: Dumbass.

  
  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
Much **3** and Syrup,  
  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	6. A Tampered Chocolate Leads to No Good

       58 Reviews for 5 Chapters! OH YEAH! ^_^** I LOVE YOU ALL**, just not in that way, **MY PRECIOUS REVIEWERS**! ...What? That's not a lot? It is for me, and I'm proud.  
  


  
I have a new story majiger that I'd like all of your opinions on. The Full summary is in my Bio and I'd like to see what you'd even say about it, but here is the gist of it.  
  


  
_A L I C E : A Homicidal Fairytale_. It's based off of the PC/CD-Rom Game, American's McGee's Alice. I'm revising it to fit the InuYasha cast properly. It's mostly likely going to become a Inu-Yasha/Kagome Horror/Romance. Yes, everyone, It is a demented version of "Alice In Wonderland" for those of you who haven't played the game. NOT for kiddies who don't want their brains soiled more then it already is. I'm going through the walk-throughs of the game, and all I need is your ideas if you'd really want to read something like that. If not, I wont even start it.  
  


  
I will kick my _own_ ass just to update all of my stories. Because I hate the look of dissappointment, even though I can't see you, I'll still feel guilty. But I will not lag. All I need is some _REVIEWERS-POWERS_ to inspire me faster!  
  


  
      ^_^ put a smile on, put a smile on, everybody c'mon.. PUT A SMILE ON! _YeAh_!  
  


  
**Disclaimer**: ;_;  
  


  
Okay, with that out of the way! *pulls out a microphone (Nabiki Tendo style)* **_KIKYO-BASHING AHEAD_**! All Kikyo fans please procede to the nearest exit... I repeat, ALL Kikyo fans get the fuck out of here. *looks around* Looks like the coast is clear to continue.** PUBLIC HUMILIATION** to come... Remember to smile, everyone!  
  


  
I will say it, until you get it right! That's it. .._Move along_... Now that that's out of the way, _JEALOUSY_ and **_MORE_** **_JEALOUSY _**ahead!! Won't that be fun boys and girls??  
  


  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
** Dirty Sneakers  
  
**

       Chapter 6: _A Tampered Chocolate Leads To No Good_

  
.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.  
  


  
007 as some would call it. They were mean, they were gruff, and they didn't take no for an answer. Especially Jakotsu, who was smiling at all the guys at the table trying to catch their attention. Sesshoumaru pointedly tried to look away, Naraku was glaring at his food with his left eye twitching, Kouga and Miroku tried desperately to start a conversation with the girls and Hojo was smiling and waving back at them, back to idiot- mode. Ahhh, boys will be boys.  
  


  
Sango baby-clapped and stood upon her seat to look some of them straight in the eyes. She turned back to her table and cleared her throat to get their attention. And.. again. And...... again.  
  


  
"WILL YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 5 DAMN SECONDS?!" Well, needless to say that got attention. Everyone calmly turned back to the 7 unknown men holding their lunches with in one hand, with them smirking as they notice her attitude sure hasn't changed.  
  


  
Sango looked back at them, "You guys. You don't know these people, but I've bet you heard about them."  
  


  
Sesshoumaru squinted his eyes as Naraku was still glaring holes into his lunch. Miroku caught a thoughtful expression along with Kagome who seemed to know after a minute or two, but Hojo just kept on smiling as if once he stopped he would get killed.  
  


  
Kagome looked up to the tallest member and one that was as tall as her, "HEY! I remember you two! You used to play against me in shooting marbles when I was only 5! I thought you both looked familiar!" Kagome laughed at the fun times she used to play as a kid with them and InuYasha.  
  


  
Kagome's eyes snapped back to reality (H/N: no more Miss Nice-Girl. Here comes adrenaline to kick some ass!) and she smirked. Almost everyone saw her grinning like a Cheshire cat, and decided to prod into her brain.  
  


  
Miroku and Hojo started poking at her sides, while the other 7 standing up started to get irritated. "Sango.." the smallest one of them all stated, plainly upset. 

       "Oh right!" Sango immediately got them off guard as they looked up to her again in interest.

  
  
      "Let me introduce our old buds," Sango stood tall, and pointed to the tallest one of them all, the one Kagome knew, and introduced him, "This is, Kyoukotsu." He wore a peach muscle shirt with black cargo pants and many spiked bracelets with a tatto of a skull on his upper right arm. Kyoukotsu turned to Kagome, doing a ritual handshake with her small hand that they used to do as children.  
  


  
"I'm so glad we get to meet again, Kag-san!" Kyoukotsu rumbled as he embraced a friendly hug with the petite girl. "Same to you too, Kyo-san!!"

  
  
Kouga growled as he clenched onto the table with his nails, '_How dare he touch MY woman! He better remove those hands from her soon!! Or he'll have to answer to me!_' Sure enough, Kouga wasn't the only one who was thinking along the same lines..   
  


  
  The rest of the table nodded stiffly, knowing what was going through his mind when he started to chip off pieces of the table.

  
  
      Sure enough he let go of a happy Kagome and stood back, Kouga sighing in relief muttering about 'mind-readers' and 'magazines'. Sango smiled as she turned to the second largest member, "This here, is Ginkotsu! Ginkotsu, say hello." Ginkotsu muttered an inaudible something. 

      The table replied him with polite "_hello_"s and "nice to meet your_ acquaintance_"s or even "_talk about the weather, right?_"s.  
  


  
      Ginkotsu wore a red orange and brown combination tee with jeans that looked like they were bricked patterned in a khaki color. His face was surely scrambled and battered. One eye was skinned shut while the other was big, his mouth was tattered awkwardly as a scar that has been stitched went down his forehead to the bridge of his nose. 

      Nearly everyone had run away in disgust of him, but here he knew it wouldn't matter. He fit along here. Ginkotsu stepped back to his place as before.  
  


  
Sango turned to two fairly heightened boys, she pointed to one who had two narrowed cat-like eyes with purple pointed stripes going over them from his chin to his mid-forehead with a purple stampede-like mark in the center of his forehead. Over the top of his head, covering his hair, he had on a white cloth that was tied neatly behind his head, and diamond studs up both of his cartilages. He wore a white cotton button-up shirt with tight white jeans. (H/N: Belive me, he's much cooler then he sounds.)  
  


  
"This is Renkotsu. And the one next to him is Suikotsu!" Suikotsu was different then most of his brothers; he was a friendly soul, usually without a care in the world. Of course, you may think this now, but deep inside him is more then what meets the eye.

  
  
Suikotsu had scars over his fingertips, for a reason no one knew but the brothers themselves.  
  


  
He had on a black and white swirled shirt that read "What'd I Miss? I was out smoking crack with Satan." with white knee high pants with various rips along the sides with socks on and black sandals. He had black hair with one braid in the back of his head.  
  


  
The two stepped forward and bowed slightly. Suikotsu, smiling and Renkotsu, scowling as many girls were staring at them both like they were on some Preppy-Drugs that no one knew about. Is that healthy? No one may ever know..  
  


  
"OKAY THAT'S IT!" Renkotsu growled menacingly, "Do you sluts having staring problems, or is it the drugs you're taking?!" Immediately the girls began to cry, Suikotsu pulled his brother to the side as he still scowled at them.  
  


  
"Nii-chan, do you want to get kicked out of this school too? We just got here and you're making a fuss!" He said calmly.  
  


  
       Naraku looked over to Suikotsu from his moving lunch. 

       "Don't worry none. The principal won't do much as to eat you, anyways. The sluts here are none- stop ooglers towards unsuspecting males, so it would do no good to stop from killing them... They'll die anyways."

  
  
      "Very true," Miroku stated. "They do nothing but drool all day like rabid birds of prey. I wouldn't be one less shocked if they all went hybrid on us all."  
  


  
Kagome chuckled, "They did that last Tuesday! One of them grew wings and ran away to their pep squad and said she had a new way to toss her pom- poms!!" Kagome shook her head as the table began to quiver with laughter and snorts. "I gotta throw my lunch away.."  
  


  
Suikotsu considered this, and smiled cheerfully, "Oh! Well in that case, go get 'em, Renkotsu." He gave his bro a little shove, but he stood strong and scowled at the girls still chitter-chattering about the new students.  
  


  
Sango looked back over at the three remaining brothers as Kagome came back to the table empty-handed with a sour scowl on her face. Sango decided to ask her about it later.  
  


  
       She pointed to the guy who was smiling happily at the other guys earlier, "This is Jakotsu. Please don't mind him, because he is a little fruity. Erm.. As you may have noticed."  
  


  
Jakotsu stepped forward and waved at them happily, "So nice to see you all! Very nice, indeed! Especially you, cutie." He jabbed an unsuspecting Sesshoumaru in the ribs, and was returned with full force by Sess himself. 

       "oOoOoOoh, A tough-one, I see! I like that in a man!" Jakotsu winked his way.  
  


  
      "Oh gawd, what have I gotten into..?! Damn my looks! Damn theeem!" Sesshoumaru fakely sobbed into his hands as Naraku, Miroku, Hojo and Kouga broke up in laughter. Kagome and Sango shook their heads and giggled.  
  


  
Finally Sango turned to the one an inch smaller then Jakotsu and the shortest on of them all (H/N: That guy is as short and ugly as Jaken). "And finally we have Bankotsu," she pointed to the tall one, "And last but not least, Mukotsu."  
  


  
Kagome's eyes lit up with recognition turning to face Bankotsu, "And you were the one who used to play with us too! I remember you used to play the butler when we played House (H/N: I still love that game..)!!" Bankotsu gave a warm smile that most of the cheerleaders watching faint their bubbly heads off.  
  


  
Mukotsu kept jumping up to get their attention but got ignored or was returned with nasty glares, "Mazja fakas.."  
  


  
"And here I thought you wouldn't remember me, Kagome-chan!" Bankotsu said as he enveloped Kagome into a tight friendly embrace, which she returned just as tightly. After a second or two leaned back and kissed her lightly on the cheek, making her visage turn a rosy pink.  
  


  
Kouga looked away with his face red from anger, trying to force out the jealousy that was pumping through his veins. '_Calm, cool, collected... Calm, cool, collected... DAMNIT, Calm, cool, KILL, collected..._'  
  


  
"Of course I would remember you, Ban-chan! You were the best 5 year old butler to ever play House!!" Kagome giggled.  
  


  
      "Won't you join us for lunch at our table, my friends?" Miroku asked, as Sango sat back next to him eating her sandwich. All of them agreed to join them, and sat down, eating their lunches and discussing what's been happening lately at school and where InuYasha has been, since some of them had asked.  
  


  
That is.. until Renkotsu got an evil idea. He picked up a single chocolate from off the floor and a strange gray vile from his lunchbox.

  
  
**.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.** _InuYasha's Sight_ (_rewind a bit_) **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
InuYasha had been kissing and talking with Kikyo about random things during the beginning of lunch hour. But only when Kikyo felt like it, then they talked. When he had tried to kiss her or talk to her about something, she had pushed him away saying "later" or "not now, can't you see I'm trying to talk with my girls here?".  
  


  
He had gotten fed up at that, and felt as if Kikyo used him only for a dog (H/N: Keh! I suspected the bitch to do that. I KNEW IT!).

  
  
InuYasha sat in his silence as he thought about his relationship with Kikyo. '_I.. do love her.. don't I? I'd guess so.. But does she even love me..?_' He stopped and looked over at Kikyo who had her back to him and was smacking loudly on her gum while guzzling on some Pepsi. 

       Hell. She was even talking about the Pepsi and how cool Brittney whats-her-fucking-face was doing the commercial and being visual eye candy and all that jazz. (H/N: Nope.. Not drinking Pepsi now..)  
  


  
InuYasha's left eye started to twitch, '_What the fuck?! She doesn't even remember I'm here! ...But no matter what, I will love her. I have to. She loves me...right??_'  
  


  
Suddenly he heard a familiar squeal of delight, '_Kagome??_' InuYasha looked over at her table. As soon as he did so, his eyes blazed. He saw that Kyoukotsu, his old friend, hugging Kagome. Even if it was friendly, he still didn't like it.  
  


  
'_How DARE he touch her!! Grrr, If he tries anything funny, I'll cut out his intestines with Christmas cookie cutters and spoon feed it to him!_' Unknown to what he was thinking, InuYasha listened on as Kagome and everyone else had happily chatted to each other until the point where Kagome said she had to throw her lunch away.  
  


  
Kikyo saw that her '_hubby_' had been looking at that Higurashi bitch and not her. '_The NERVE of him cheating on me!! I'll teach that little girl that Inuyasha is MY territory, and once I have him where I want him, then she can take her fool back._' The whore smirked, leaning over to InuYasha as Kagome passed bye.

  
  
"Oh, Inu-honey.." She seductively said, claiming his lips as hers in a hungry kiss. InuYasha, to say the least, was suprised. But soon her forgot that Kagome had been standing there, watching them with narrowed eyes, and gave into the attention Kikyo was giving him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her even closer to him. But somehow... it all felt wrong.

     (H/N: Can't believe I wrote this smut with him and Kikyo. Great, now I have to wash my hands and dry-clean my noggin..)  
  


  
When the kiss broke, he leaned back alittle glancing up quickly enough to see Kagome steaming mad while heading back to her table. _'Oh no, Kagome.._' InuYasha thought sadly, filling with shame. 

      After moments of thinking, his eyes snapped opened widely. He knew that Kikyo had to be up to something to just kiss him out of the blue like that. InuYasha angrily spared a glare at Kikyo, who in turn again, had her back to him.  
  


  
      _'She did have something to do with this.... What in the blue hell is she up to?!_'  
  


  
       Having nothing else to do, he looked back at Sango who had introduced more of his friends. His friends, is what they were...Until he had split up to be with his girlfriend. Why had he sacrificed so much for Kikyo when it wasn't even worth it? Why had she been ignoring him? Was it all a lie? Kikyo had to be up to something, and he knew it too well.  
  


  
       '_No,_' InuYasha thought. '_It can't be a joke! We love each other and that's final!_' (H/N: This, kiddies, is how dense one person can get. Rock Bottom.)  
  


  
Then he saw it. Bankotsu, his old friend and pal, was hugging Kagome, and tightly at that. He knew Bankotsu had a crush on her when they were littler and they used to play House. He and Bankotsu always fought over who would get to be Kagome's pretend husband, but in the end InuYasha gave him a boo-boo and got to be her husband with Bankotsu being the Butler.  
  


  
Miroku was the one who played as the monk who blessed their house with such good fortune and miracles with Kagome's Jii-chan's non-working Ofudas. Sesshoumaru was the demon who threatened to take their moneys and good fortune, but Sango the exterminator always took care of that. Naraku was the little boy who pretended to possess little InuYasha and made kagome cry at his scariness. Then... They all grew up.  
  


  
Bankotsu hugging Kagome and her hugging him back made InuYasha frighteningly jealous inside. His eyes glazed crimson for a moment before switching back into it's normal kohaku tint. The dog-boy swatted his ear and shook his head, trying to rid of the boiling sensation that almost swallowed him whole. He slowly looked back at Kagome's table, mentally trying to erased the image of her and Bankotsu together from his mind.

      Still, his girlfriend payed no attention. Her high-pitched laugh made some people blame InuYasha for her happiness. And that happiness just pissed everyone off the cliff. InuYasha shook his head again, trying to erase those little voices from his mind telling him to get rid of Kikyo before she rids of him first.

  
  


      Then there he saw it.

  
Bankotsu kissed her on the cheek, with Kagome blushing prettily in return. His blood boiled as magma in a volcano turns  into lava (H/N: See, I _did_ learn something in Science). That's when InuYasha turned to Kikyo, even knowing she wasn't paying attention to him.

      "Kikyo, I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back soon."

      Kikyo didn't even look behind her. "Sure, hun. Whatever you say."

  
  


      He glared sourly at her for a second before getting up from the polished white table, and headed to the little guys room with a bad attitude. 

      What was happening here? Why was Kagome acting wierd now? Why wasn't he with his friends have a grand ole' time as the rest of them are...?

  
Kikyo. That's why.  
  


  
   **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.** _Back to the Normal Vision_ **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
Renkotsu had discussed his plan to the whole table after he heard that his old friend and former prankster partner had dissed his own friends for a tramp. That was ridiculous! Even though it made Bankotsu happy to have Kagome with no excuse for InuYasha to be there, Renkotsu didn't want his little bro to mess with relationships so quickly.  
  


  
       Sure, Bankotsu was a wise, noble and contributed person to anyone and everyone. But it was too much to cut out a solid relationship, when obviously the relationship was pure.... in a way. Bleh, who was he to talk? He sounded like Opera for god's sakes.  
  


  
"I always wondered what you were going to use that for, Renkotsu," Ginkotsu said quizically. 

        "You always packed it in your lunch. And when we asked you what it was you were intending to do with it you'd reply, 'Special Purposes'. What the hell, man?"  
  


  
Sesshoumaru raised a fine lined brow, "You always carry around sardine oil? Does that mean something?" In the meanwhile, Renkotsu punctured a tiny whole in the side of the chocolate that was picked from off of the floor.  
  


  
"Hmmm," Miroku thought for a moment. "Do you plan to give that chocolate to someone unparticular, my friend?"  
  


  
"Oh.. Only the mother fucker who screwed up Yashie's brain." Renkotsu looked over at Kikyo as she soon caught his glance and winked. He clucked his tounge and raised his eyebrows once at her. She blushed and started hyperly talking to her friends about what she just saw. He just looked back to what he was doing, his face covered in pure disgust.  
  


  
 "Now _THAT'S_ horror.." He shuddered at the thought of Kikyo winking at him a second ago.  
  


   
  "I wonder if Inu-chan even remembers us. Does he remember us?!" Jakotsu asked the table happily, bouncing in his chair a little.  
  


  
"I don't doubt it. How could he forget? We all accepted him for who he was when everyone else didn't. He even excepted us in return. Now if he could forget that with that one ho, I'm just going to get up and attack him right now," Naraku growled from his position in his seat. 

      "He's just ignoring us.."  
  


  
"Oh," Jakotsu smiled, "Don't worry honey, We won't forget _YOU_!" He pounced on Naraku glomping him till he couldn't breath. Now it was everyone else's turn to laugh. Even Kagome got her share of giggles and laughter.  
  


  
"Completed!" Renkotsu raised the single chocolate in the palm of his hand.  
  


  
"What exactly did you do to it?" Hojo blinked, finally getting the chance to speak after finishing his healthy and nutritious lunch which he loved so very much.   
  


  
"Why, Good question, Hojo," Renkotsu smirked as he lowered his voice so only they could hear what he was saying and InuYasha wouldn't stop them. 

       "That vile. It was exactly what Sesshoumaru said it was. Sardine oil. But! This is speeecial sardine oil. Even one whiff of inhaling it will make your breath decay in rotting fish. But... With one full gulp, you're breath is as good as 30 year old road kill! It should last about a half of a year, or more. This is a special remedy that Mukotsu made for me a year back."  
  


  
Mukotsu took his queue, standing up on the table and bowing while everyone at their table clapped for his brilliance. "Thank you, thank you.. I'll be here all year!" Then got off of the table with some of his brother's patting him on the back.  
  


  
Renkotsu wiped his hands with a napkin and placed the chocolate in the same napkin. "Now, Who wants to play Delivery Man or Woman?..How about you Miroku? You're the charmer of the bunch. Why don't you give it to Kikyo and tell her it's from an '_admirerer_'," Rankotsu failed trying not to shudder, "Point at me, and I'll wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. Hopefully she won't mind the smell, and eat it anyways because by the looks of it her IQ is single digited."  
  


  
Miroku took the chocolate wrapped parcel and smiled, "Sure thing, my friend." He then turned to Sango, "If I live through this..." He said wistfully, inching closer to her face, making her blush scarlet. "...Will you bear my-*_SLAP_* I'll take that as a no..."  
  


  
Sango's cheeks were as bright as fire as she glared angrily at him, "Just play cupid and give Kikyo the chocolate!! And DON'T screw it up!!"  
  


  
"Yes, my darling bud of May.. What I do for attention.." Miroku got up from his seat with "good luck" wishes from everyone as Naraku hummed that death trilogy. Bum, Bum Bum Bum, Bum Bum Bum, Bum Bum Bum Buuumm... Miroku glared at Naraku and he sooned stopped. He walked over to Kikyo's slab defiantly, ready to take on the Big Bad Bitch.  
  


  
"Do you think he'll live?" Bankotsu quipped worriedly.  
  


  
"Don't worry, Ban-chan. Everything will be fine." Kagome replied, flashing him a tender smile.  
  


  
"Grrr, yeah. Everything. will. be._ fine_.." Kagome pinched himself, trying not to make a fool out of himself by grabbing Kagome my the waist and hugging her to him. '_She is MY woman.. Grrr, Dumb Bank bastard. First Dog-turd, now this guy!_'

  
  
The slab pretended to be in conversation as Miroku finally reached Kikyo and her preppy table of happiness and pink and Pepsi. Oh, kill joy.  
  


  
Miroku cleared his voice, getting everyone's attention. Kikyo saw Miroku but stopped short of laughing when she discovered it wasn't that guy who was body languaging to her, it was the guy next to him. What this this dufus want? InuYasha had gone and excused himself a minute ago to use the bathroom, or something like that, she hadn't really payed attention.  
  


  
"Look what the demented cat dragged in. What is it you want, Monk?" Kikyo said in her happy-go-pansy voice.  
  


  
Miroku only pointed at Renkotsu's charming face before continuing, "That man summoned me to deliver this fine chocolate just for you. It was deported (H/N: hehehe) from the finest chocolate factory of Switzerla--"  
  


  
The Blonde-squad behind her just yipped cheerfully telling her to taste it. Kikyo reached for the hand wrapped goody, "Yeah, yeah, just give me the chocolate!" Before Miroku could tell her to enjoy, she just waved him off telling him to go back to his dog pound.

  
  
Miroku turned around and gave the two thumbs up at his table, and rushed over there to see what her expression would be when she found out it wasn't deported from Switzerland, but from the finest boat scum in all of the world.  
  


  
Kikyo happily unwrapped the napkin and took out the chocolate. She examined it none to carefully or she would have noticed the microscopic hole that was slowly dripping fish juice out of the side. She popped the whole thing in her mouth, with no hesitation and started chomping happily on it, waving to Renkotsu.  
  


  
That is, until it started to slowly burn her taste buds. She swallowed it all whole, reaching for the nearest drink. But finding nothing but InuYasha's Cherry Coke. As much as she hated Coke, she still wouldn't drink it, even if she _was_ choking! No one payed any attention to her but her squad and Kagome's slab, who were currently laughing so hard their faces were turning blue and they were leaning against each other for support.

  
  
Of course, the whole cafeteria soon caught on with their laughing as soon as Sango pointed to Kikyo and her break dancing trying to grab a hold of someone's drink, for her Pepsi was all gone.  
  


  
Kikyo made the most hilarious faces. One resembled Fat Albert's face, one where she looked like a choking Kirby, one where she looked like she was going to rip her own throat out, even her bloated Michael Jackson impersonation was hilarious!  
  


  
InuYasha sighed, walking back to the cafeteria, he heard laughter from all around. His eyes widened immensely as he saw what was trying to figure out what was going on. People were on tables, holding theirs stomachs in pain, with theirs sides aching like hell. 

       Some were on the floor, and leaning against each other or the wall trying to take over their laughter. Of course, Kikyo would then do something else, and make everyone howl in pain. The lunch ladies were even trying their best to calm the choking Kikyo down.

  
  
The ones who were laughing the hardest was the table containing Kagome, Hojo, Kouga, Naraku, Sesshoumaru, Sango, Miroku and the Shinchinin-tai. Hell, they were turning blue! What the hell would they be laughing so hard about!? Then he saw his answer, standing on the table doing the freaky-deaky-Dutch-dance-of- lunatics-all-around.  
  


  
His eyes widened with embarrassment, tad anger, and laughter. Embarrassment, because his own damn girlfriend was on the table doing God-Knows-What because God-Knows-Why. Bits of anger, because some perverted guys (H/N: Minus Miroku) were crowded around the table she was on, and looking up her skirt while wolf whistling. Laughter, because, well, who wouldn't laugh at such a situation as this? 

      It's not everyday you see the person you hate get humiliated in such an easy way!

  
  
InuYasha stormed over to his table and hauled Kikyo's ass off of it.  
  


  
He glared down at the woman in his arms, "What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!" InuYasha's senses smelt something fishy going on here.. (H/N: Hehe, Fishy..)  
  


  
      The whole cafeteria reigned over in silence. Even the lunch ladies were watching closely.  
  


  
Kikyo stopped short of breath and smirked up at him, she quickly pulled his face down to her's trying to take advantage of everyone staring at her. To fully claim InuYasha as her's in front of the bone-chilling silence was her goal.  
  


  
She smashed her lips onto his in a sloppy and heated kiss. Heated? Yeah. Because InuYasha's eyes widen even more if possible then before when he tasted her. '_Gross. Bleeeeeeh! Is she trying to poison me now?! What next, mass murder?!_'  
  


  
InuYasha dug his nails into Kikyo's arms and pushed her away from him, knocking her straight to the floor.  
  


  
      "_JESUS CHRIST KIKYO!_," He bellowed, making some of the students chuckle. "WHAT DID YOU _EAT_ FOR LUNCH?!! YOU TASTE LIKE SOUR SARDINES!!" InuYasha bent on his knees to the tiled floor hacking and gagging. Trying his best to rid of that nasty taste in his mouth. Never again will his kiss Kikyo!

  
  
The cafeteria turned silent.. Until Kikyo was slugged in the side of the head with some kind of old and moldy pudding mixed in with spit and corn. It started dripping inside of her gapping mouth, her ear and inside of her skanky tube top.  
  


  
"BULLS EYE! ONE POINT FOR KYOUKOTSU!" Kyoukotsu jumped up on the table and took in a big breath of air.  
  


  
"FOOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIGGGHHHTTT!!!!!!!!!" Everyone's eye turned to amusement as they grabbed what was left of their lunches and started aimlessly flinging it everywhere, but mostly at InuYasha and Kikyo's heaps on the ground. The lunch ladies soon went crazy and jumped out of the nearest windows and doors, crawling on hands and knees escaping from the mad students.  
  


  
        Everyone was getting hit with something and everything. The milk, the pudding, the corn, the meat loaf, the ketchup, the Pepsi on the girls with white shirts, the works! The whole canteen was electrocuted with ruckus as the teachers and staff ran out of the wrath of the High Schoolers. Oh those crazy, High Schoolers.  
  


  
       The piercing sound of the bell rung through the screams and shouts, dismissing the kids to the next class. The cafeteria once again hushed in silence as it rung, and rung... and rung.. and..

       _WHAM_! 

       A Superman Lunchbox hit the bell making it fall off of the wall and crashing to the floor.  
  


  
"Hey isn't that..." Kagome started walking over to the lunch box with mashed potatoes, M&Ms and Pepsi all over her. She bent down and reached for the lunch box when someone from the exit doors shouted her name.

  
  
"Hey Kagome-chan!" A voice called from behind her.  
  


  
"SHIPPOU?!?"  
  


  
"FUCK YEAH!!"  
  


  
      "Crayon!! The hell?!"  
  


  
      "Glad to see you too!"  
  


  
      "SCREW NEXT CLASS! SCREW NEXT CLASS! SCREW NEXT CLASS!" Amari Nobunaga and his geeky slab chanted. (H/N:   
  


  
      "FOOOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHTTT!!!!!! Round two!"  
  


  
They all ran for cover again as everyone picked up some type of omninous food from the floor and hurled it once again at one another. But again, mostly at Kikyo this time. 

      "WE SHALL SMITE THEE!" Every single person, including Kikyo's cheerocrisy squad, slowly creeped twords Kikyo as she backed up against the nearest wall in pity. She let out a defining screech, as everyone loomed over her like shadowing gargoyles.    
  


  
      "P-please... Have _MERCY_ on y-your head _CHEERLEADER_!"  
  


  
      Kagome stood up slowly from her creep and blinked as a smirk slowly played itself upon her face, "What do you think everyone should we forgive her?"  
  


  
Silence...  
  


  
        Kagome slowly turned back around twords Kikyo...  
  


  
       And smirked wider...  
  


  
       Creeping closer...  
  


  
       "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Was the last thing heard from Kikyo as everyone threw chairs, food, even pieces of table at her. After many items being thrown at her continued to swivel at her, a dirty InuYasha jumped in out of nowhere, standing his gaurd infront of his unconscious girlfriend.  
  


  
      Sango blinked, "InuYasha. What the hell?"  
  


  
      "NO!" InuYasha growled menacingly glaring at everyone who even dared harm Kikyo. "THIS ISN'T THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!!!" '_How could they all hate one person so much??_' He thought in rushing turmoil.  
  


  
"Fuck that, InuYasha!" Kouga grounded with clenched teeth. "Your bitch caused harm to everyone, and now she's getting her comeuppance!!"  
  


  
"YEAH!!!"  
  


  
"Oh my..." Suikotsu sighed.  
  


  
Bankotsu glanced at his brother, then at Kagome, then at InuYasha, then back to Kikyo.  
  


  
Silence.  
  


  
       "I SAY WE KILL THE BITCH!!!"  
  


  
      "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" And the gruel food fight continued throughout the evening. About an hour or so later, everyone there had gotten suspended for three to four weeks by Principal Peachman. Because of all of the damaged they had caused to his building, the lunch ladies that had quit from their jobs, and with Kikyo's sickening injuries, he just couldn't let them go scotch-free.  
  


  
But he didn't care about _her_ health no matter how much InuYasha complained, Principal Peachman just wanted his cafeteria back to normal. Besides, he thought the kid's sanity level was about to break, so he sent them on an early vacation. Evidentially, scotch-free was just thrown out the window. 

  
  
Kagome ran back to her panting group to tell them the great news. "Hey guys! The principal just said that everyone is getting 3 and a half weeks of suspension! Isn't that great??"  
  


  
Everyone nodded and collapsed to the floor deadbeat tired. They chatted about what to do during vacation since it was just sprung up out of the blue.   
  


  
Kagome's face brightened, "I know what we can do! We can hang out over the three to four weeks at my shrine! My mom, Jii-chan, and brother are out for two months anyways. Just as long as you guys don't get messy then there is no problem! How do you like them cookies?"  
  


  
They smiled and accepted the cheery girl's offer with thanks and gratitude. Maybe they could actually have some more fun with InuYasha and Kinkyo's heads. They would find out soon to come... When they catch their breath of course.  
  


  
  **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,.**

  
  
Sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, I am too lazy to check them over as of now. If my fingers fell off I wouldn't be suprised.. But I couldn't help myself. I'm just so happy that people like my story. YAY! I hurt Kikyo! Go Me!  
  
I would like to thank **_lindy*girl_** for the chocolate fish suprise idea and **_EvilBunnies_**(**_1_**) for the food fight idea! **THANKS A BUNCHES**!! (^.^)  
  


  
      ------**REVIEW RESPONSES! YIPPEEEEE!**----  
  


  
**_Maiden Of The Moon_** - That would be so cool to have awesome Telepathical powers like that! I remember the time when I told my mom to turn the radio to a different station in the car (she listens to aLOT of country) because it was ticking me off, and the tire ran over something and the station switched to Y-100. _ I think my car is haunted. ^_^ hee hee! YAY! Inu/Kag Forever!  
  


  
**_Kiawatha Amara_** - Don't you worry! I'll hurt Kikyo, but seeing her killed I might put at the end of the story. Or maybe a sequal! I don't know, but let's just see how the go flows.  
  


  
**_Sailor Universe_**(**_3_**) - I will tell you that later in one chapter, there might be a little suprise involving Kikyo, honey, and many boxes of black ants and worms. But, SsSsSsssh! Don't tell nobody! ^_^  
  


  
**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_** - Yeah! I think the Shichinin-tai kick major boo- tay! Jakotsu is special in his own little way. @_@ Don't be sorry about my dad having ADD. You don't have to, because I hate him.. ^_^... I hate him lots. If it wasn't for my biological mother that has current frequency Meno- freakin'-pause, then I would have been aborted before birth. _ But I digress. You're mom is bipolar? Wow, I never met a bipolar person before. Only people with pissy case of PMS, but that's the end of the line. You're welcome about the Yura thing, And Hojo, is infact, an idiot. ^_^ The world makes sense again.  
  


  
**_Girlwithoutastory_** - I read your fic, and I just love it! Thank you for reading my other story too! I'm so glad you enjoy what I write! Yes, Kouga I will admit, is a bit OOC, but I really don't want to turn him into an idiot because I think the guy has enough bronze and brains then to just act possessive all the time. ^_~ But I will try to keep his personality in check.  
  


  
**_loozer-09_** - I was hoping no one would see that error. ^o^'' Whoops.. I did mean Kouga, not Hojo. Dumb fingers of mine, grrrr... But thanks for pointing that mistake out to me! Yep, yep, yep, Naraku Sesshoumaru and the Shichinin-tai are aaall good guys. Except when it comes to torturing Kikyo, then they are bad guys.  
  


  
       Jakotsu will knock some sense into InuYasha in a chapter or... hehehe... two... hehehe.. In his own... hehe... special... little way..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  


  
**_Baka-Ryu_** - Rin will come in soon! Don'cha worry about it, for she will come in when the time is right. I didn't forget about her. ^_^  
  


  
**_Detective CJ_** - InuYasha and Kagome FLuff will be in the next chapter, I hope! And yessiree, they shall be together at the end. Because If I EVER write a Inu/IT story, then I personally will eat the Mona Lisa. INUYASHA KAGOME FOREVER!   
  


  
**_LoLo-de-la-Ro _**(formerly known as**_ LoLo_**(**_9_**)) - You're so right. I've made Kagome too soft, neh? Welp! That's out the window! For the 3VIL Kagome is here to stay!... Until Inu and Kag get together then the evilness will be kept as 'her little secret'.   
  


  
Your brilliance on Prom night is superb! I could use something like that. Like from the movie Carrie (Damnit, it was just too weird), when she was elected Prom Queen, The Bullies in the school dumped Pigs Blood all over her. Then her eyes rolled back into her head and she set her whole school on fire. Now that's.. a classic moment. I could use that, thanks for suggesting it, I appreciate it! 

  
  
**_EvilBunnies_**(**_1_**) - Thanks again for the food fight idea! I'll make InuYasha realize that Kikyo is a demented bitch from hell, and dump her. But that'll be after allll of my fun is done. I hope you liked this chapter! ^_^  
  


  
**_chickens _**(_Anonymous_) - Sorry I spelt Conan wrong. _ I don't watch his show like I used too, but it was cool wasn't it? Conan O'brian just made me really sleepy and bitchy when I wake up in the morning. ^_^'' Heh...eh. Yep! I hope you liked this chapter!!  
  


  
**THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING EVERYONE**!!!!  
  


  
     **.,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'-:,.,:-'-:,..,:-'- :,.,:-'-:,.**  
  


  
So. That concludes this chapter. I hope you can review and then maybe I'll update even faster! ^_^ Don't forget to tell me about your idea on the _A L I C E_ story. That would help a bunches.  
  


  
Now, I would like to give a thanks to the following people...  
  


  
**Serena71**

**  
  
dan-chan**

  
  
**Kyreason, The Evil** (even though I'm _still_ pissed off at you)  
  


  
**albino the pancake  
  
**

**  
Kagome-chan15**

**  
  
Girlwithoutastory**  
  


  
...For putting me on their Favorite Author's List! I would thank everyone personally who had put "Dirty Sneakers" on their Favorite Stories List, but it would be too hard to scope out everyone's Favorites List, since it doesn't tell me in the Stats who had put this story there.  
  


  
But thank you all so much! *glomps everyone who is even reading this*  
  


  
I love you, just not in that way,  
  


  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	7. Brotherly Talks End With Taking The Girl

       I got my other story started! _Yahooooo_! ^_^  
  


  
       I got 3 reviews for it as well! _YAY_! ^_^  
  


  
       I got a locker filled with many hardcover textbooks and workbooks and it's not even the first real day of school! **DAMNIT ALL TO HELL**! @_#  
  


  
        Guess that's how life is. If you ever read about my daily bitching in my blog, you'd know I be more then willing to say, "You win some, you lose some. Win some what? Potato chips? Sounds good to me." But, hey, I got nothing better to do then type a new chapter for my favorite story.  
  


  
        This one of course! ^_^  
  


  
         Lemme just clearly state to everyone out there........ that... Pepsi Vanilla, kicks ass!  
  


  
         I played House at school the other day with little kids. Nicco (a.k.a. Little Nemo; he is so small), Nasiear (a.k.a PB; his peanut butter habit and his hard to say name. Nazier was his name.), Reza, Megan (a.k.a. Annoying Git; she doesn't shut up for ONE second..). Most of them were in elementary, but Reza was in 6th. It was so damn funny! Ahh, afterschool is fun.  
  


  
To everyone who has interest in my new story: Yeah, I changed the name to, I m F e e l i n g F i n e: A Homicidal Fairytale. Chapter one is up, and I'm trying my best to change my writing style a little. NOT ALOT! Because there they go, and I am their leader.... uh, what?  
  


  
Oh yes! There will be bits and crumbles of humor unless you want it to be that way. 

  
  
So far the ratings go as followed: (bits of)Humor/Horror/Romance(later chapters)/Tragedy/Action/Adventure. Sweet, huh?  
  


  
        That's it in the news desk today! Back to you, Hirari!  
  


  
Thank you, Hirari! I guess I should start the story, neh?! Yes? OKAY! I just wanna say I'm sorry I couldn't write this earlier, I gotta shit load'a books and my weekend is my only escape to reality. Plus! There is no school September first! I'll write or start a new chapter then! ^_^

  
  
      **Disclaimer**: *squeezes a plush* Kirby says no...  
  


  
**        NO KIKYO FANS ALLOWED**!! *slams metal bars in front of Kikyo lovers who are about to read my story* *unleashes VERY hungry lions, and tigers, and bears, OH MY* Have fun, folks! 

      *walks away whistling and twirling the key loop around her finger while many screams are heard*  
  


  
.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.

  
  
**Dirty Sneakers**

Chapter 7: _Brotherly Talks End With Taking The Girl_

  
  
.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.

  
"Kikyo, I'm... I-I... Well, I.. You see the problem is...ARGH!! Why can't I DO this?!" InuYasha threw the panda plush back on his bed then following suite.  
  


  
He was dressed in silk red boxers with black doggy bones imprinted here and there. His chest and abs were completely exposed, his hair spread out around him as he lay on his bed with his eyes closed, and his clawed hand clutching onto his favorite panda plush. The sunshine peeked through his blinders, shining over him like a dream. (H/N: Now. I know for a fact you hafta love that mental picture ^~)  
  


  
"Brother dear. Can you stop talking to yourself? For five minutes? I'm trying to read over there." Sesshoumaru said tonelessly from his spot in InuYasha's doorway, pointing towards his blue room that was opened ajar. His other hand holding a Cheap Skates Magazine.  
  


  
InuYasha growled and rolled over so his face was planted in his pillow with the poor plush squished between his stomach and the bed. "Uhm facluf mpha halumpf wif gimfhou."  
  


  
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, walking over to his bro's sock drawer unnoticed by him. He nodded his head in understanding, while digging his hand through the drawer looking for something.  
  


  
       "Well, InuYasha, there is two things you can do.."  
  


  
Grumbling a reply, InuYasha sighed inaudibly hugging his plush. His older brother making small racket, and gruffing out something about 'people messed up in the head' and 'diamond barrettes'.  
  


  
        Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and stopped scrambling about for a moment. "Number one, you can suffocate yourself to death," Sesshoumaru quickly pulled out his arm from the drawer, smirking lightly, finding what he was looking for as InuYasha sat up from his pillow talk. "Or choose number two.. dump her like a hot potato. End of discussion."  
  


  
"Sesshoumaru, I just can't do that! I think I have.. feelings for her still.." InuYasha said softly no normal human could hear. But his brother heard it loud and clear. And he wasn't happy that he could either.  
  


  
He plopped himself on InuYasha's bed aggravatedly, reaching his hand to his brother's arm giving him a fierce pinch to it.  
  


  
"OW! Why did you DO that?! That HURT ya know!" The dog-eared boy hollered, making his room echo with his voice. Sesshoumaru snorted, glaring holes into his head.  
  


  
"That was not even a mosquito bite compared to the hurt someone else is feeling right now." The bluish haired teen spat out as stiffly as he could. The shock on his brother's face was priceless! Not waiting for a reply, Sesshoumaru straightened out his posterior cold face.  
  


  
"I'm going to do something I have never thought I would be doing ever since you dyed my hair pink, so you will listen. And you will listen good," InuYasha sat up in an Indian style position from his spot on the bed, and showing off his trademark pout. Taking this as a sign to continue, he went on.  
  


  
"InuYasha," Sesshoumaru spoke in a monotone yet serious voice. "Kikyo is nothing. She is nothing that deserves to be held in ANYONE'S attention, much less yours. I know you will not listen to me, for you never have. But this you should heed on.. Kikyo is a bitch. A bitch and a... well, a bitch mostly clears everything up. But that's not the main point." He looked back over to where his brother sat, looking like he was in deep thought. And for the first time in a while, he really was.  
  


  
"There is one thing I don't understand, brother," InuYasha snapped out of his trance, looking at Sesshoumaru in question. "What is it?"  
  


  
"Why?"  
  


  
InuYasha raised an eyebrow, "'Why?' Why, what?"  
  


  
"Why her? Did you honestly think she would be there by your side? By your side for all eternity? To help you through the thick and thin? Riddle me this, InuYasha. Who has been there for you since you didn't know who to trust? Who has been there by your side when someone called you a 'freak' or 'a dishonor to society' and comforted you until you were satisfied with the world again? Who has been there since you needed a friend the most?" Sesshoumaru recited wisely, standing up from his current position and glaring mental holes into his beguiled brother's head.  
  


  
InuYasha. The brave, tough, and dependable teenager who could stand up for anything or to anything.. was actually looking like a nervous wreck.  
  


  
"I-I..."  
  


  
"Dumbass. Stop acting shocked at what I speak! I hate this. I'm going to my room!" Sesshoumaru exclaimed childishly, exposing his bottom lip making him show off the appearance as if he was pouting. He stormed out of InuYasha's apple colored room, but was stopped by his brother's sudden quivering voice.  
  


  
"Thanks."  
  


  
Sesshoumaru gave a little smile, "Just don't expect it again, brother dear." He emphasized on the words 'brother dear' as if it was poison to the tongue. Shutting the door, he walked back to his sky blue room, shuffling around packing some things up then sitting down to write a note.  
  


  
InuYasha sat there for a moment, figuring out answers to those questions. Why did he like Kikyo? Was she a decoy for someone he knew he couldn't have? 

        Did it have anything to do with the fact that whenever he was with Kikyo, he always thought it to be Kagome who he was kissing ever so passionately in her place? He blushed fiercely at the thought of Kagome's soft lips crushed against his.  
  


  
He couldn't kiss Kikyo anymore, so what's the point? InuYasha didn't even want to see her face again after everything he's been through with her. 

        It was all just a big waste of passion and saliva.

        He knew he had special feelings for Kagome since, well, forever. He just had to cover it up with something fake. An**_ ill_** will fantasy, Kikyo. (H/N: Notice the ill) 

        All he wanted more then anything was to find Kagome and apologize to her with all his heart. And if she didn't listen, he would plead. Though he really didn't like begging, anything to make Kagome forgive him was worth doing.

        Suddenly, a little switch in his mind just clicked like little Ka-bangers. He didn't even _like_ Kikyo! So why did he even _date_ her?

        InuYasha's eye ticked as he breathed in a shuddered breath.

        He was just using her.. It all snapped. He _was_ just using her! InuYasha's eyes widened to the size of platters. This was the greatest news _EVER_! Right then, the silver-haired boy felt like climbing the roof of his home and singing "Closer To Free" at the top of his lungs.

        She was just the substitute. For the one he_ really _loved.. But was to fearful of rejection. So he turned to the nearest free girl who'd accept his feelings no matter what. 

        And that slut was Kikyo.

        And he didn't even like her!

        This was the greatest news enlightened upon himself since Cup O Noodles.   
  


  
Putting an end to every thought in the world, he figured reality _is_ where the pizza guy comes from, InuYasha placed his panda plushie on his pillow and trudged downstairs. He wanted to give a go at mocking Sesshoumaru for speeching him and feeding him questions. Not even bothering to put a shirt on in the process. Though he heard no objections, anyways.   
  


  
InuYasha arrived downstairs light-hearted, to find that his brother was nowhere to be found in the house. Turning to turn on the TV, he noticed a Sticky note attached to it that had cursive scribbling on it. '_Oh yeah, definitely from Sesshoumaru._' It read:  
  


  
'_Dear little one,  
  
_

_  
I have gone to the Higurashi shrine to stay a couple of nights or so... See, I know you are angry at me right now aren't you? Good. But as much as I *hate* to burst your bubble I have no intrest in Kagome, I am not like that. So get your mind out of the gutter, fool. Naraku, Shippou, Crayon, Sango, The Tooth Fairy, Kouga, Miroku and the Brady Bunch will be there, too._'  
  


  
InuYasha turned crimson from anger to embarassment faster then a Nascar Auto-mechanic could change a tire and eat a Wendy's value meal. That's fast.

  
  
'_Damn you, Sesshoumaru!_' Still fuming, dog-boy decided to finish reading the note.  
  


  
'_Don't come. You aren't invited. So there.  
  
_

_  
And If I find out you've been in my room, I will hurt you. Oh yes. That I will. Don't think I *can't*, because I *know* when you lie, and when something is missing. Sneaky bastard. So sit down, and shut up and think about what I told you. I know that talking to yourself is considered crazy, but if rapists can roam the streets free citizens, you can argue with your mind.  
  
_

_  
For I have no consideration in what you do. (DNA results *still* aren't in)'  
  
_

_  
_InuYasha snapped his fingers out of bad luck.  
  


_  
'Retain from eating us out of house and home.  
  
_

_  
And If you so think you will get away from me scotch-free if you steal my boa again, you are so wrong.  
  
_

_  
For the love of Me, burn this,  
  
_

_  
-God_'  
  


  
The second his eyes fell upon the word '_God_' InuYasha rolled his eyes and crumpled the note into a tiny ball. His visage was still masked with anger and embarassment from reading the note's contents.  
  


  
So Sesshoumaru and 'the gang' were at Kagome's, huh? This could prove interesting..  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.** _Meanwhile, at Foreman's basement. I mean, the Sunset Shrine_ **.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
"2 Aces."  
  


  
"3 Twos."  
  


  
"1 Three-"  
  


  
"BS! That's a nine, you ladycake."  
  


  
Jakotsu frowned down at his new additions of cards that had just been placed in front of him, "Oh! Don't be such a gloom cookie, Naraku-kins! It's only a game, you know!" Jakotsu winked at the now quivering boy who was still clad in a gray spider shirt with black dickies.  
  


  
"Oh calm down you guys," Kagome piped up from her spot at the table, her ice cold Pepsi Vanilla next to her. "Like Jakotsu said, it's just a game..Naraku-kins. Hehehe..That's a good one." Jakotsu and Kagome started chuckling, giving each other a high five.  
  


  
"Yeah, well," Naraku started, shifting in his seat a little and ignoring the 'Naraku-kins' bit. "That's easy for you to say, you don't have to worry about a nark hitting on you, Kagome. You got it easy. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT! BUT THE TRUTH SHALL REAR IT'S PARSNIP UGLY A-"  
  


  
"Naraku, shut the hell up. 2 Fours." Kyokotsu spoke as he placed 2 fours upside down in the center of the table. "It's a matter of the gaydar man, gaydar. We all know Jakotsu is fruity-"  
  


  
"And proud, brother dearest!"  
  


  
       "-but you gotta' learn to ignore it. How the hell do you think we made it through our childhood? Jelly beans and wads of cash?"  
  


  
       "But they were gourmet, Kyou-san!"  
  


  
Kyoukotsu slammed his cards on the table. He glared at Jakotsu who only blinked in confusion, "Jakotsu. Let it go, man.. Let it go."  
  


  
Sango giggled at the brother's weirdness. Everyone else had been watching either t.v. in the living room, which was playing back-to-back episodes of The Golden Girls. Nothing else was on at 6 P.M. so they layed low as Jakotsu stood on the couch singing the opening song, in surprisingly, good harmony.

        
"Thank you for bein' a fri~end.. Travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true, your a pal and a confidant.. dun dun dun. And if you threw a par~tay! I~invited every'a one you kne~ew.. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me! And the card attached would say, 'Thank you for bein' a fri~eeend'!!"  
  


  
_...cricket...cricket..  
  
_

  
Suikotsu looked up from his glass of water and smiled happily at Jakotsu, "Job well done, Jakotsu-san! It's incredible that you have such a magnificent voice!" Jakotsu smirked as everyone else was stunned silent until a knock was heard at the front door. Apparently snapping everyone out of their stunned reverie.

        "Well, whoa."  
  


  
Shippou shook his head and spared a glance over at Sango, "Soo... How 'bout them dolphins?" Sango gave the two thumbs up as a reply. "Healthy. Your's?"

        "Dead."

        "Again, Shippou? I thought you replaced them last week."

       "They died."

       "You don't like fish do you, Tails?"

       "The dolphins are dead, stop interrogating me!"  
  


  
"Will some BIZZNITCH answer the GODDAMN door already?!!" Crayon put her face in her hands making her glasses press to her face.   
  


  
"I'll go get.." Bankotsu started to rise from his chair, putting his cards face down until the figure loomed over the table, himself. "it..How did you get in here, Sesshoumaru?"  
  


  
"Yes, snuggle-buns," Jakotsu said, magically glomping onto his crush's arm, "How did you get in.. why are you looking at me like that?" Sesshoumaru's face turned from eager to an immediate 'get-off-my-arm-before- I-cut-it-off-myself-just-to-get-away-from-you-but-I-still-wont-be-happy-I- did-that-either-so-just-back-the-fuck-up' glare. (H/N: I hate those glares.)  
  


  
"Step back. He's gonna blow!" Renkotsu laughed, soon being joined by everyone else in the room.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru bit back a growl and ignored the sudden bursts of laughter that erupted the lively room. After several minutes of trying to pry his arm from Jakotsu's iron grip, he just blandly asked Kouga for a chainsaw who in return gave him a snort and a loud 'no!'.  
  


  
        Sesshoumaru turned to the window a couple more minutes later after Jakotsu's brothers successfully pried him off of a peeved Sesshoumaru and tied him up with chains that just 'happened' to be near the well house.  
  


  
Looking out of the window he saw something quite interesting. He turned to look back to the group of BS players and Golden Girl watchers.  
  


  
"Oda Nobunaga is fighting with his brother again."  
  


  
Sango was the first to stand up and run over to the window to see.  
  


  
"_Ohmigosh_! (H/N: Oswald moment.) He's right! Oda Nobunaga and Amari Nobunaga are arguing over Tsuyu again!" Everyone grunts or gripes about the situation off hand like Sango just explained how a hose works.  
  


  
"So let's look at it this way," Miroku stated, monk-mode. "We take the girl, unnoticed and let the brothers just kill themselves." …and the not so monk-mode.  
  


  
"Mazja Faka!" Mukotsu popped in front of the twitching Miroku. Mukotsu popped Miroku upside his head, and pointed a brittle finger directly at his nose. "We can't just take a girl, without her permission! Where you go to get your Pre- School graduation certificate? Southwind?" (H/N: Southwind is a child's hell!)  
  


  
      "He's right 'Roku," Kagome said going over to the front door and opening it. She turned to look at them better, giving Miroky the warning eye. "But we just can't let them fight, someone'll call the cops."  
  


  
      "Kagome-chan's right," Kouga declared. Thinking this might be his break to be closer to Kagome and show that he is brave to help stop bickering preps. No one likes garbage on the streets, so think of it as a favor. "We must clear the way for a more clean and health-warming society!"

      Ginkotsu mimicked a confused look. "What?"

      "It's time to kick some panny wanking bums!"

     "Oh." Ginkotsu gave the thumbs up. He and his brothers hurriedly stood up, giving some jokcy 'good luck' nonsense, and advice how to hunt sloths. Atleast, that's what they knew they were in for.  
  


  
      "Well then, c'mon and help me, Kouga-kun!"  
  


  
      "I'm comin'!"  
  


  
      "But Kagome-chan, Kouga-kun!" Sango called out to her friends. She followed them to where Tsuyu, Oda, and Amari are fighting. "They're Tokyo's rich-bitches! You know, besides Kikyo… Ah, to hell with it. Wait up you guys!"  
  


  
      The rest of everyone quickly got up and ran after the two arguing girls with the exception of Jakotsu who sat on the couch all tied up, watching the Golden Girls in complete awe. The Golden Girls was the heir of all good old-lady comedy. Besides "Keeping Up Appearances" on the Brit-com Network.  
  


  
      "_HAHA_! Daisy took Rose's teddy bear... stupid girl scouts."  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
      An unknown figure with dog-ears lurking in the shadows. Carefully, with the grace of Ranma, it followed after his precious companions.  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.** _duna duna duna da, duna duna duna da, Outside!_ **.,:-`- :,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
Amari Nobunaga growled menacingly twords his brother, "Lady Tsuyu is _not _a play toy! She has rights as a lady too you know! You can't just treat her like common trailer park trash!"  
  


  
Oda scoffed and crossed an arm over to grab Tsuyu by her purple and pink dress sleeve.  
  


  
"She is of such if she dare compel to your stupor of lowlyness. She hath no reason to dwell on your ungrateful incompetent when I, Oda Nobunaga, am here for her always!"  
  


  
Amari blinked. "Uh..."  
  


  
        "You DATED her, ass wipe! I saw you both suckin' in each other's faces like vacuum cleaners!" He said through clenched teeth, then looked down to the girl on the verge of tears in his arms.  
  


  
        "I'm down, I got the 411, and you are NOT getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is!"  
  


  
        "B-But, Oda--"  
  


  
        "CHAAAAARGE!!" An 3vil looking Kagome came from behind a tree and jumped Amari, punching him in the gut, and kicking him in the 'Valley Of The Bulge' like she just escaped from the South Park project.  
  


  
        "CHAAAAAARGE!!!" 12 power-hungry teens came out from behind random bushes, fire hydrants, and street light polls jumping Oda with Tsuyu screaming 'No! Stop the this isntant!' and Amari screaming 'Square him in the ass!' but got thwapped by Tsuyu afterwards.  
  


        - _Moment's Music_ **Seal**: Tinsel Town –

  
As the wrestling and punches were being thrown, the mysterious dog-eared boy came from the dark shadows behind a tree where Kagome was previously keeping hidden.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru, who was just watching as his friends were beating up Imari and watching the other two try to break it up, sensed InuYasha's presence ever since he left the house. He knew InuYasha followed him, but took a vow of silence when coming.  
  


  
He smirked as InuYasha sneakily picked up Kagome in a bridal style position, clamping his hand over her mouth. Hoping that no one will notice that's she's gone.. for now.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru watched as his brother ran from the scene near the shrine.. With a certain handsome boy also watching InuYasha take his bestest friend away.  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.** _Back in the Shrine_ **.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
"HAHA! Ham and Potatoes! Car covers! _Muwazz_!"  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
**Cliffhanger**! Kinda... I don't know, I need time to get my creative juices flowing. I'm fresh outta raisins.  
  


  
..raisins... raisins.. _la la la la la laa_~...  
  


  
     I Love The 70's! And the Golden Girls. Don't diss the Golden Girls. That show is awesome. I've watched every episode 20 times over. Yeah, 20 times over.  
  


  
Jump trash.  
  


  
     Avoid Obsticles.  
  


  
     Get turbos.  
  


  
     Seriously.  
  


  
     Get turbos.  
 

  
     Where is Kagome going to? What will InuYasha say? Will she forgive him?  
  


  
     I think not. Not yet. I don't fuckin' know.  
  


  
     But most importantly...  
  


  
     Will Jakotsu _ever_ learn how to keep sane?  
  


  
      . . . . . . .  
  


  
      . . . .  
  


      . .

  
       HELL NO!  
  


  
       Now that _THAT's_ out of the way!  
  


  
       ONWARD! *salutes* To the Review Responses!! And away we goooooooo!  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
        **_Girlwithoutastory_** (_Anonymous_) - Don't fret! For there is more Kikyo bashing yet! Graaah _ That rhymed.  
  


  
Gay guys are cool. I, myself, wouldn't mind reading a blue lemon once and awhile. Like, when I'm depressed, it's nice to see the pairings, BUT! There is NO gay pairings in this story though. ^_~ Too young for that.  
  


  
P.S. Fluffy _is_ pretty!!  
  


  
      **_Inu-shounen _**- I'm SO glad you put me on your favorite stories and authors list!! I feel so proud of myself for making people like what I write. Finally! ^_^ I'm just too happy for words!  
  


  
       I'm putting even more people in more chapters soon to come. There are still _ALOT_ more people in the series like, Earthboy, the rest of Naraku's spawns (brothers and sisters I shall dub them), The Peach Hermit. And_ MUCH _more!  
  


  
**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_** - I know! I agree! The last chapter was the best! ^_^ This was basically a filler chapter, this time, but the next couple of chapters will be as funny as the 6th. I guarantee it!!  
  


  
**_loozer-09_** - I love your bashing stories better then mine, those were so creative!! ^_^ I'm gonna try harder to make the bashing more funny and yet very.. um.. hurtful (that a word?? x.x)!! And about the humpy anima~ls! I'm still planning to fit that in there somewhere. But it *shall* happen!  
  


  
^_^ And I will probably make InuYasha watch the Golden Girls with Jakotsu, and then Jakotsu will *ceeeeeeennnnssssoooooorrrreeeedd*! Won't that be cool??  
  
  


  
**_LoLo-de-la-Ro_** - Sorry I made it so eeeevviiiillll! This should be in the Tragedy category, neh? -_- bleeeh, evil Kikyo + InuYasha fluff...  
  


  
I like making InuYasha a dumbass.. I don't know.. It brings me some.. sick joy to my life. And I like people kickin' his ass when he does something wrong. It's either someone kicks *his* ass or he kicks his *own* ass. ^_~  
  


  
Which one is it you speak that is this 'Pansy'? Naraku, Sesshoumaru, Kouga, Hojo..? Oh well, I'll just explain it here then for the four of 'em.  
  


  
Kouga. I love Kouga. I really hate reading some fics where Kouga is the rapist. Or the dumbass. Hojo is the dumbass. THE dumbass. Kouga is IT... as in well, IT, I love Kouga. ^_^  
  


  
        Sesshoumaru & Naraku I just love having them associate more with the rest of the Inu-gumi because they NEVER do that in the Anime or Manga. And neither in a lot of fics I read, do they ever talk like friends. Because they usually talk like they're higher then all else. Which sometimes pisses me off, but hey, that's in character I guess. ^_^  
  


  
Then Hojo. I hate Hojo. Hate.. hate.. well, hate speaks for itself. I guess I can't _really_ hate him, but he gives me a nervous tick. He is cool in some ways, like the free gifts crap, but that's where the line ends. I just gave him Instant Mood Swings and BOOM! You got a friend. ^_^ gotta love those mood swings.. without 'em he could hang out and talk to plants all day for all I care.  
  


  
But that's just me!  
  


  
**_Chinese Punk_** (_Anonymous_) - I'm glad you like my story, so here's an update for ya!! What other sitcoms do you watch besides That 70's Show, by the way? Just curious.  
  


  
I'll talk to ya later on AIM too.  
  


  
        **_Maiden of the Moon_** - So true.. so true. There can NEVER be too much bashing, no matter what Celebrity Death Match may tell you. Hehe, that would be funny yo see Kikyo on Celebrity Death Match...  
  


  
I love the game House. ^_^ I played it last week with bunches and handfulls of kindergartners on the half days of school. I was the mother since I was the oldest and was declared a widow since I wouldn't want to have a husband nearly 9 years younger then me. _ ^_^ But it is fun! But Pirates is MUCH funner!  
  


  
        Kag & Inu Fluff next chappie!  
  


  
       Thank you for your compliment on my upcoming story!! I just got the first chapter up last week, and in the next chapter of that story will be more exciting. Though, I changed the name a bit. It's now called, I m F e e l i n g F i n e: A Homicidal Fairytale. Not much of a change, but, I liked it better. The American McGee's Alice game totally kicks _ass_. It gets you hyped and horrified at the same time..  
  


  
This coming from a person who has first played a demo when she was 6! *jumps around pointing to self*  
  


  
It's okay. You don't have to be sorry for what that bitch does to me. I'm used to it by now.  
  


  
     **_LtlDevilishGrlSakura_** (_Anonymous_) - In order for the plot to be best, you hafta put up with the shit you hate. Don't worry, this IS a Kag/Inu story! I shall eat my grapefruit knife if I EVER write an Inu/IT story. So.. sit back, relax, and enjoy. ^_^  
  


  
     **_Baka-Ryu_** - *takes out a tennis racket and hits the grenade in Kikyo's direction* WOO!!!  
  


  
Rin's entrance will be enjoyable, you'll see! ^_^  
  


  
        I'm glad you love the story!  
  


  
      **_Kiawatha Amara_** - Kikyo DOES suck! Amen! Woooo!!!  
  


  
      **_PeachesDani_** - Thank you so much Peeeeaaacchhheeess! Peaches! YAY! You love my story! I hope you loved this chapter like the last, and I'm going to send you an e-mail about my updation (yet, another made up word) right now! ^_^ Thanks again for reading.  
  


  
       **_eddie4_** - Thanks, Megan! I'm glad you like it, and please update your fic 'Dont mess with punks!'!! I love the fluff!! ^_^  
  


  
**_Alia_** (**LaDySuRf412@netscape.net**) (_Anonymous_) - O_O ^_^ I GAVE PRIDE! I FEEL SO LOVED! ^_^ I never gave anything of the sort before! I'm super happy you love reading my story and I shall e-mail you this very moment along with PeachesDani! Thank you so muuuuch!!  
  


  
**_EvilBunnies_**(1) - Dont worry! That ice cube shall meet her demise sooner or later! ^_^  
  


  
**_Lylli Riddle_** - Episoooode..umm...*thinks* 23? Yeah, that was it. I got the DVD with that Episode about 2 weeks ago. I was like, ready to kick some ass after those 3 damn episodes. I think InuYasha is too thick-headed... I hope all guys aren't like that.. that'd lead to National and International Chaos!  
  


  
Disclaimers _are_ fun! ^_^ *gets a sharpie marker and labels 'Disclaimer' on a pair of clackers* see?! *suddenly gets hit in the head with it and goes into a coma* x_X  
  


  
       THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS EVERYONE!! ^_^  
  


  
**.,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,..,:-`-:,.**  
  


  
_MORE_ special thanks goes out to the following people..  
  


  
**Inu-Shounen**  
  


  
**LoLo-de-la-Ro**  
  


  
      Thank you all for putting me on your favorite author's/stories list! n.n  
  


  
      Please keep reviewing everyone, and HAPPY BACK-TO-SC--*gets knocked out by a sudden piano landing upside down on her* _-_  
  


  
      _Amande_: DON'T... say that word. =_=  
  


  
      Thanks everyone for making my sister joyous.. *sniggers*..Okay, okay. Remember to leave a review if you want faster chapters and good ones at that. These last chapters were crap if you asked me. 

  
  
      Now there they go... and I am their leader! Sayonara! *picks up the unconscious Hirari's hand and waves it around as a goodbye*

  
  
      Your lord and master,  
  


  
      **Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup******


	8. An Almost Kiss: You're All Under Arrest!

       I must say, I am SO diassappointed in what I'm seeing lately. MORE Sess/Kag fics that Inu/Kag fics?! MADNESS!  
  


  
I know it must be a great pair for everyone to read about and I know why, too. But c'mon.. really? Can't an ending turn out happy for once?  
  


  
ALOT of non-AUs out there deal with Angst/Drama when Kagome finds Sesshoumaru's heart. HE ISN'T A PLAY THING! He's a cold man, for god sakes! And when he says he doesn't like humans, HE DOESN'T LIKE HUMANS!....  
  


  
....

  
  
But Rin is an exception because she showed him compassion from the first time he saw her. Seriously, folks, he's like a daughter to her. That's where the line should stop.  
  


  
This is getting kinda pointless because now I probably have even mor eangry readers after my head.  
  


  
The world makes sense again!  
  


  
Why I haven't updated in such a while is that because of my sickness. Most of everyone who cares about my life, should already know about my bodily functions, because I haven't not yet begun to procrastinate.  
  


  
I'm going to tell you anyways, because these are big problems on my behalf. Some of them have been happening to me recently.  
  


  
IN TOTAL, my disfunctional insides grow partial to: Kidney disorders where I sometimes feel like I'm being daggered in the gut repeatedly (No this is not monthly, more like yearly), heart problems, hamstring discordes (runs in my dad's part of the family; my hamstrings contract making my legs immobile for a couple of minutes after I run or do serious exorcise), scoliosis (we've been through this talk before), rib misplacement (not all my ribs are lined up in order like everyone else's is, some of mine are curved in a different direction and sometimes causes me problems to sit up straight for a total of 4 minutes or less), asthma attacks (Amande knows more about this then the wench), spider veins (in cold temperture, they clench together little by little and make me nervous about them; yeah it happens), pink eye (it happens sometimes when I sleep with my eyes open; I've opted to sleep like normal people do from now on), ear infections (bathtub grime and pierced ears play major parts to my ears), memory disembalance (More like a ADD. I try to remember something that I was just told, or seen a day or so before. Sometimes I can remember, most times I can't. Which causes me to get serious migraines throughout the day), allergies and sinus pain (you know how this is; you run into something that triggers your immune system and rejects going near it again. my allergies go straight to my head where I get terrible headaches, a stuffy nose, breathing problems, blurry vision; you name it.), ankle fracture (I've gotten to the point where whenever I walk, my ankles crack. Get those? Mine hurt.), sudden bruises (this is where I bump into something that isn't sharp at all; you don't feel the pain, but the bruise shows up almost instantly), scared throat (when I was not much younger, I was running around with a pair of scissors while screaming like a maniac. I tripped over something, don't know what the hell it was, but the scissors cut a place near my throat. Sometimes when I eat, it re-opens the scratch and starts to bleed. It hurts most when it's allergy season.)  
  


  
In truth, I could go on longer. There is many more things that is wrong with me, that most people don't really care about. I'm basically a walking disease, and I don't know why I'm not dead yet. Does my hypochondria play a part in this too? *blinks*    
  


  
WELL! Enough about me! ^_^ ON TO THE STORY!!!  
  


  
But first...  
  


  
**_ ALL KIKYO FANS, PLEASE LEAVE THE ARENA! I REPEAT, ALL KIKYO FANS LEAVE BEFORE I HUNT YOU ALL DOWN WITH MAGNUMS! _**No, seriously. There will be GOOD bashing in this chapter. Get out, or I'll kick your ass!  
  


  
*Amande is seen on stand by stroking a whip with the back of her hand*  
  


  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  


  
Ahem...  
  


  
Loooooong chapter ahead.. An apology for taking so long, plus....  
  


  
**MANY SUPRISES**!!!

  
  
_MuAhAzZ_!! F**LUFF**!!! A little bitty citrus-scented! CHAPTER 8!!  
  
  
  -..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-  
  


  
**Dirty Sneakers**

Chapter 8: _An Almost Kiss: "You're All Under Arrest!"_  
  


  
  -..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-

  
  
"PUT MEH DOWN, YOU CREEP!"  
  


  
4 minutes ago, which seemed like hours to the damsel in distress, was abducted from her OWN NEIGHBOORHOOD, by some RAPIST, who could run very FAST. The dark of the night hid his face and identity well.  
  


  
Kinda like drug dealers in Florida...

  
  
"Will you shut up, for 2 minutes wench?!" The man snarled. Kagome's mouth gaped open as her left eye began to tick dangerously. '_Tell me to SHUT UP, will he?! He's not the one being kidnapped, I AM! That's right! That's me! Right there!_'

  
  
"Who the hell are you to tell me to SHUT UP, you monglord, when I'M the one who was taken from the fascinity of my own HOME! And being--hey wait a second.." De 'Ja Vu hit Kagome in the head like a 2x4 when that rapist, again, sounded so familiar.

  
  
And if she looked close enough to the face of her captor, she could see him smirking so victoriously, that if it got any bigger, he could pass as a Jack Sparrow clone-of-the-century.

  
  
**-..o.:.0.:.o..- **_Back at the Sunset Shrine, where everyone is left.. dumbfounded.. HA!_** -..o.:.0.:.o..-**  
  


  
Tsuyu, Amari, and Oda have left long ago when Suikotsu and Kyoukotsu threatened to sic Jakotsu on both their bums if they didn't scat. Tsuyu was grateful, and dragged them BOTH home on a diamond-rimmed leash. Proving, **WOMEN SHALL RUE THE DAY**!

  
  
Everyone was huddled inside of the Sunset Shrine at the poker table with the single ceiling lamp huddled over their heads. Jakotsu, not paying any attention what so ever to what was going on, surely did not even realize Kagome was gone, or why everyone was screaming and ranting behind him.  
  


  
Life was good. So he shrugged it off and went back to his Golden Girls. (H/N: I know Jakotsu hates women, but c'mon, it's not like they're all going to go away. Don't like it this way? Then don't read it! Fuckwit.)

  
  
"What should we do?! WHAT DO WE _DO_?!"

  
  
"Who the hell was that anyways?!"

  
  
"Any ideas as to how we're going to get her back??"

  
  
"Kouga! Put the crowbar _DOWN_!"

  
  
All heads turned to Kouga who in turn, looked back at everybody, lowering the crowbar onto the table from over his head. As soon as it touched the table, a frowning Miroku yanked it from his grasp.  
  


  
"So what do we do now?" Shippou asked, almost screeched worriedly. "Who was that person that stole our Kagome, anyways?!"

  
  
"It was Colonel Mustard in the dinning room with a candle stick!"  
  


  
"Hojo, will you knock it off?! We're trying to be serious for once, here!!"  
  


  
"Sorry, Sango-san..."

  
  
"I know."  
  


  
"Huh?" Everyone turned their attention to Bankotsu who was on the far side of the table. He knows, you know.

  
  
"I know who took her." Bankotsu said, nearly splerging with anger tword our loveable dog-bastard-man-dude. (H/N: FUCK! I gave his identity away! And I was so sure you wouldn't know who it was, too..)  
  


  
Shippou growled, "You better know who, and if I find out it's a lie, I'll kick your uppity ass 'till hell won't have it again!"  
  


  
Crayon pulled Shippou by the back of his shirt and into his seat. Shippou sat down commandingly and spared a helpless glance in Crayon direction. Radiating worry and anger toward his kidnapped sister-like romodel.  
  


  
She patted him on his back gently, "FUCK-BREED! Don't worry about Kagome, HAHA VULVA, (H/N: yeah, that was nasty. @_@ But it couldn't be helped!) We'll get her back, DAMNIT!!"  
  


  
"YEAH!!" Chorused everyone.  
  


  
Kyokotsu blinked, "But how?"  
  


  
"Aww.." Sighed everyone.  
  


  
"Do you know what I like to do on rainy days?" Hojo asked curiously, as if plotting the most sinister of evilness of evil as we know it.. The Bond way, of course.

  
  
Renkotsu let go of Naraku's collar, who he was currently pummeling in an argument. (H/N: Apparently.) He narrowed his eyes in a bit of a sarcastic 'I-would-never-guess' way, "You toss your cookies?"  
  


  
"Besides that."

  
  
Naraku looked around skeptically, "WHO CARES?! We're on a mission!"  
  


  
"WE'RE ON! WE'RE ON! WE'RE ON A MISSION! And we'll go, where dreams, will not go. WE'RE ON A MISSION!"  
  


  
Renkotsu glared at his shortest brother, "Mukotsu, turn it off."  
  


  
Mukotsu fumbled around a bit with the boom box notch, but complied and turned off his Carmen in concert tape that was jamming on Light F.M. (H/N: I doubt they have that station, though.). Not the best time to play it. People are trying to think.  
  


  
"I like pie."

  
  
"SHUT UP, HOJO!"  
  


  
"Anyways.." Shippo sighed, plainly pissed off, rubbing his temples. He snapped his head to Bankotsu. "Who is it that took her?"

  
  
Bankotsu closed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. "..InuYasha stole Kagome while we were jumping Oda."  
  


  
"Th-the hymowitz stole Kagome!!? WHY THE HELL DIDN'T WE SEE THAT COMING!!"  
  


  
The whole room, minus Jakotsu, started loudly ranting about how the person next to them is so stupid, that they didn't even notice dog-boy take their friend to Sesshoumaru-knows-where and Sesshoumaru-knows-why.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru, himself, chuckled lightly. Sango caught this little movement of injustice and glared stonily at him.  
  


  
"Sesshoumaru..." Sango seethed, an inch or two away from his face. Her face smeared with anger, while Miroku stood behind her, his visage glowering full-blown jealousy. Miroku stood up and pulled Sango back a bit so the boy could breathe. Oh yeah, Sesshoumaru, too.  
  


  
"You knew about this--?! DIDN'T YOU?! D-DIDN'T YOU!!? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL! SPECIAL, I SAY!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" Sango curled up in a ball near Miroku's feet. Racking with uncontrollable sobs and screeches for mercy that even put Naraku into deep thought, she wept.  
  


  
"Sango, my dear..." Miroku started, his eye twitching. "What on Buddah's green earth are you talking about?"  
  


  
Sesshoumaru raised a brow and scoffed, "Get your woman off the floor before Jakotsu mistakes her for the carpet." So you know why?! BECAUSE IT'S A SEALY! STUPID!  
  


  
Miroku grumbled as he came to realization that his girlfriend, (H/N: Yes, they are a pair as of now. Just pretend they were since chapter one, work with me here.) Sango, was crying out of laughter, and he was soon popped upside the head for being a hentai.  
  


  
Shippou, Kouga, and Crayon came back from upstairs in the attic, finding what they were looking for while everyone wasn't paying attention.  
  


  
Jakotsu was now in full alert of what was happening. Hey, can't blame him. If you had two guys standing around with no shirts on, you'd better know what's happening, too. Get with it.  
  


  
Jakotsu raced over to his beloved Kouga, Shippou sneaking away from the scene, hopefully unnoticed by the fruit bat. "WHY, DARLING! Are we going somewhere?" Jakotsu smirked full-heartedly with his green-colored lips, kissing Kouga all over his face. Glomping him to a near stroke. Leading to death, eventually.  
  


  
"GET OFFA ME YOU FRUIT KLUX CLAN LEADER! AARRGH!! DO WE HAVE ANY MORE CHAINS FOR THIS GUY?" It took a few minutes for Renkotsu and Ginkotsu to pry Jakotsu away from Kouga. The less painful way then using a saw or a hornet, or rabies.  
  


  
Miroku's crowbar finally coming in handy at the time. Thank Kami for crowbars. Life without them would be hell as we know it.

  
  
Kouga and Shippou were dressed in long camouflage pants and vests with no shirts along with tie up boots, they wore black sex bracelets, and had their hair pulled back in a ponytail. They both had black ash streaks under their eyes, as well. Well, what looked like coal paint.. But it was actually finger paint that they had found in Souta's old art box.  
  


  
Crayon wore blue camouflage pants and a large shirt that matched. She wore her black square glasses with finger paint on her face too, and had black tie up boots decorated in 70's hippy and happy face stickers.  
  


  
"All set and ready to go!" Shippou cocked a black water gun that was filled with caviar fish paste and ran out of the door heading for the shrine steps to wait for everyone else. "C'MON!!"  
  


  
"RIGHT! Let's find Kagome!!" Kouga followed suite, cocking his gun filled with lemon juice. Fresh squeezed, oh yeah, that's the stuff. He followed after Shippou, out into the night.  
  


  
Crayon smiled and cocked a large water turbo-blaster filled with green and brown moldy sewer water and black olives that were found, also, inside of Kagome's attic. "LET'S KICK SOME MAJOR ZLOTNICK ASS!!" Crayon's smile soon turned into a smirk as she fixed her glasses and set out the door.  
  


  
Sango grabbed a nearby stapler and followed after Crayon, "LET'S MOVE! LET'S MOVE, PEOPLE!"  
  


  
Miroku ran out the door, tailing behind Sango closely with the crowbar in his hands, "WAIT UP, SANGO-MUNCHKINS!!"

  
  
Sesshoumaru haughtily got up and scrambled out the door to get away from Jakotsu's strange lusty look. Grabbing pepper spray disguised with a Cotton Candy hairspray label from his bag, Sesshoumaru preceded to scramble out the door successfully from the gayfer's rampage. "I'm out!"  
  


  
Naraku followed him, and in his hands he carried 3 permanent markers, black red and blue, "Now's my chance to get back at Mutt Face from all those years of humiliating damnation! KUKUKUKUKUKuKuKuKukukukukukuuuu!!!"

  
  
Hojo ran after them all, screaming like a maniac banshee on the prowl for blood. He carried the left over chains that he had stolen from the well- house, along with a large liter of pigs blood which was near the well- house.

  
  
"WAIT FOR ME, YOU GUUUUUYYSSSS!"

  
  
Kyoukotsu and Ginkotsu proceded to jam through the door with one rotting garbage pail each and going through the door after the rest of them, "LETS CRAM IT UP 'IS ASS!" "WOO HOOOO!!"  
  


  
Bankotsu, Renkotsu, and Mukotsu, tailed hot on their trace grabbing a metal broom, 2 30 lb. barbells and a butcher's knife. "HERE WE GO!"

  
  
Suikotsu ran after them, with the glass of ice cold water and tweazers which so conveinently were placed inside his pocket. "GOODNESS! AN OUTING!"

  
  
Jaskotsu was the last to leave, in which he didn't bring anything but himself.  He closed the door slowly, then chased everyone down the street, who were screaming like maniacs, trailing down the street, hot on InuYasha's trail. 

        (H/N: Bankotsu and Sesshoumaru are leading the way. Remember, they saw where InuYasha was going, but only Sesshoumaru knows where. He is God, afterall. ^_~)  
  


  
**-..o.:.0.:.o..-** _Back in a dark vacant Amusement Park, That resembles one from the movie, Big_ **-..o.:.0.:.o..-**  
  


        - _Moment's Music_ **Dreadzone**: A Dream Within A Dream -

  
Kagome was fuming! How dare HE of all PEOPLE try and steal her! And from what?? If he wanted to talk to her, he could have.. Oh I don't know, ASKED?? Sheesh! Men! Always the hard way.  
  


  
The captor had slowed down after many growls telling her to shut up or to stop moving around. It was a shame that he had to put her down on a nearby bench when arriving at his destination. Because in truth, he really loved the feel of Kagome's body heat combining with his in such an appealing way. It started to drive him wild. Nothing that Kikyo had ever let him experience before.  
  


  
Hell, she hadn't even let him hug her unless there was a groupie cheerleading thing around her. Honestly, it made him sick to the bone!  
  


  
But he had to keep his mind from the gutter; he wanted to talk to this girl in his arms more then when he had left the Shrine. He hoped silently that Kagome would find it in her heart to forgive him for his actions. For they were cruel enough.  
  


  
Sitting down, he clutched her wrists gently in his hands, cradling and soothing them softly. What was this feeling coming over him when he was near her?... Was it.. was it love? He didn't know, but it sounded just right. When he was with her, his entire attitude just melted away like a snowball's chance in hell.  
  


  
"Kagome..."

  
  
Kagome looked up from the ground to her captor's face. It was illuminated in the street lights fairly enough to make out what he looked like.

  
  
And how he said her name so pleadingly, so covered in guilt and shame, made her bite back a gasp of guilt. She didn't like staying mad at him for long; she had this warm feeling... of love, was it? That sounded right. It had to be..  
  


  
"Kagome, look at me, please..." InuYasha breathed, airily. Almost begging.

  
  
Her sad eyes locked with his and was suddenly entranced by his beautiful kohaku eyes, as they danced in the moonlight's beam. He looked so handsome... just like.. always. More handsome then any guy that tried to catch her attention before. InuYasha had claimed her heart from 'Feh'.

  
  
"What did you bring me here for, InuYasha..?" Kagome asked, raising her brow a bit.

  
  
InuYasha fidgeted a moment before caressing her soft velvet skin with his thumb, 'It's so smooth.. just like how I figured it to be.. she's so.. so... perfect. Yes... perfect.. I-I think I love her..' InuYasha looked into Kagome's gingerbread tinted eyes, and found sadness that broke his heart into shards of glass. He knew he was the one to cause that sadness, and he wanted, more then anything, to make them dance with happiness again.  
  


  
Seeing Kagome anticipating for an answer, he took a deep breath internally, "I-I... I wanted to say... I'm sorry."  
  


  
Kagome's eyes widened, stifling back a small gasp. 'Did InuYasha just apologize.. to ME?! Of all people.. ME?..woah.. that totally was unexpected in my book.'

  
  
"Why are you sorry?" she asked, clearly puzzled by his behavior. But not clueless. She had ideas, but not a sharp point. And what he did next really started to stun her.

  
  
"Sorry.. for everything I did to hurt you.. I never wanted to hurt you, Kagome. Never have I wanted so much then to be..." He said so softly; as if afraid his words would brake if not cared for properly. "Here with you.." She gasped at the confession. She could tell it was true. Never has she seen, even when he was with Kikyo, the passion he held within those words.

  
  
"InuYasha..." had claimed her heart, as his.  
  


  
InuYasha's heart thrummed faster by the enchanting, almost seductive way she said his name. He loved the way she said his name so breathlessly, he wondered how she would sound if he ever...  
  


  
He blushed even harder at the thought of claiming Kagome as 'his' forever. Seriously, they were in High School... But no one said he had to voice his fantasies. He partially smirked inwardly.  
  


  
They both sat in silence, thinking so many thoughts at once, it was almost as if a hurricane plagued their inner thoughts.  
  


  
"Forgiven." Kagome whispered.

  
  
"..wha?" InuYasha said, hyponotized.  
  


  
"I forgive you... InuYasha." Kagome smiled, as did he.

  
  
Kagome and InuYasha blushed crimson at the closeness, they had realized, but made no move that showed displeasure. They were loving each moment of it, secretly, they wished time would stop.. Just for them to stay like this forever.

  
  
InuYasha gently raised a clawed hand up to her cheek, and started caressing her soft, fragile skin, causing them both to blush even more at contact. His thumb stroked the softness on her temple, earning a low, almost inaudible moan to escape her cherry-tinted lips.

  
  
'_Oh gods, her lips.. I wonder how Kagome would taste if I kissed her.. I've always wanted to kiss her. But.. but will she let me have such the honor to be, her first?_' InuYasha gulped, and came to thought. He wouldn't let ANY bastard have HIS Kagome as her first. He'd slit his own throat before having another man lay a solitary finger on his beautiful goddess.  
  


  
Nothing, not even himself, could or would ever change that.  
  


  
InuYasha couldn't control himself any longer from the longing to kiss her so hard, it'd take her breath away. He slowly slanted his head downwards, her breath tingling his senses, driving him mad to touch her. To feel all of her body. To be with her. And no one else.

  
  
Kagome, thinking along the same train of thought, brought her head slowly upwards. InuYasha's breath, she felt on her lips, was the greatest thing she'd ever imagined.  
  


  
He was going to be her first kiss. She loved the thought of it.

  
  
His soft lips gently brushing over hers for an instant, he let out a soft, stiffled moan filled with anticipation and hunger for more. InuYasha dipped his head downwards, almost claiming her luscious lips as his, almost before-  
  


  
"I _KNEW_ IT!! I _KNEW_ YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME INUYASHA!! HOW _COULD_ YOU?!!"  
  


  
Kikyo stood behind the couple's bench along with her two friends Yura and Kaguya and a boy who wore a Varsity sweater with the name 'Juuroumaru' written on the front in blue cursive lettering. 

       (H/N: Don't mistake Kaguya for Kagura. I spelt her name right. Kaguya was in the second movie. And yes, if you read the latest chapter of 'Consider This?' you would recognize that Juuroumaru is the spawn of Naraku, I just wanted to add him to the premium blend. Maybe his little buddy will come in somewhere. Bon Appetite!)  
  


  
InuYasha nor Kagome moved from their positions, but they were panting so hard words could not speak of how much ANGER and HATE they felt for her right then. Believe you me, if they had spoons, they'd bawl her eyes out.  
  
InuYasha cradled a still panting Kagome in his strong arms, he, himself, was panting no less controlled. '_STUPID WHORE!! NEVER HAVE I WANTED ANYTHING IN MY LIFE AS MUCH AS THIS MOMENT WITH KAGOME, AND SHE HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT ALL! SHE *WILL* PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!_' InuYasha's eyes blazed with a fiery depth.  
  


  
Kagome's eyes glazed over with rigid cruel ice, '_I WAS JUST ABOUT TO KISS INUYASHA, DEAR GOD HOW I WANTED TO, AND THE SHORT-SKIRTED MARZIPAN BITCH HAD TO COME AND SCREW IT UP!! WHO IS SHE TO TALK ABOUT CHEATING WHEN A GUY IS RIGHT BY HER SIDE!?_' She clung to InuYasha, her fierce touch arousing him by the forwardness. InuYasha embraced Kagome close to himself, not backing down to Kikyo's angry glare. Not for a second.

  
  
The man scoffed at Kikyo, they were on a date! Who was she to bring up 'cheating'?? Juuroumaru frowned and started to walk away, "Goodbye, Bitch."

        Kagome smirked, "Deserved that one, she did."  
  


  
Kikyo helplessly turned around to him and started to shed false tears, "JUU-CHAN, WAIT! COME BACK!" But the crow's caws were useless, he was already out of the deserted park, and out of her life forever.  
  


  
"Like, great goin' Inu-Yashaaaa!" Kaguya screeched, twirling her greasy hair around her slender finger while blowing a bubble out of her gum as it popped all over her face.  
  


  
"You totally blew Kikyo out of having a relationship with Juuroumaru!" Yura hollered from her position behind her leader. "Goshinboku's only chance of making it to the Football Tournament!"

  
  
Kagome glared at Yura and responded before InuYasha had a chance to, "OH YEAH!? You can take Kageroumaru AND that tournament, and _STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS_!"  
  


  
Kikyo angrily hoarded over to Kagome and used her plastic nails and plowed 3 marks near her cheek before InuYasha could guard her.  
  


  
"DON'T TALK TO MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT, YOU _TROLLOP_!" Kikyo roared in her face. Trickles of blood came splotching drip by drip from Kagome's eye down her cheek. Kagome subconsciously rose a hand to her eye, feeling for the blood. "AND GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF'A MY--HUH?!"  
  


  
*_SLAP!_*

  
  
InuYasha lowered his hand, wrapping it around Kagome's waist securing her to him closer. His eyes were hazed over with crimson, pure rage radiating from the slap that just insued onto Kikyo's ugly face.  
  


  
Yet another false tear trickled down the wamzzat-popsicle's cheek, "Have you no SHAME INUYASHA?! YOU SMACK YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND! YOUR *GIRLFRIEND*, INUYASHA!! HOW COULD YOU??" Sobs pierced the air, as if a herd of antelope was plowing over the lands. Breaking nearby windows, and making random people hold their ears and run home partly def.

  
  
"If you ever, EVER, touch or cause any HARM to Kagome, I will be sure to find you. Hunt you down myself. And slit your throat in your so-called 'beauty' sleep! Do I make myself CLEAR!?" InuYasha spit-fired with rage. He wasn't one to threaten girls, but when it came down to it, they were enemies as well. "Well.. _DO I_?!"

  
  
"Cr-crystal."  
  


  
"We are no longer anything, Kikyo. Don't EVER mistake me for your ANYTHING anymore! I want no part to be with you or have anything to do with you! You make me RETCH! HARLOT!"  
  


  
"B-But InuY-Yasha--"  
  


  
"Don't even speak my name."

  
  
Yura and Kaguya were huddled up together behind the pathetically sobbing Kikyo who wouldn't shut the fuck up, if her daddy paid her to.

  
  
"He's scaring me, Yura.."

  
  
"You think so t-too?"

  
  
_...silence.._

  
  
_...rumble rumble rumble..._

  
  
"ATTACK THE HALF PRICED BARGAIN BIN WHORES!!"

  
  
"GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!! RAAAAAAAAA!!!"

  
  
14 hormonal teens rushed out from behind many trees and vending machines, with objects unanalyzed to the people from down below. The shouts and corruptions of hollers demanding to herd the cattle echoed throughout the bustling Tokyo breeze.  
  


  
Kikyo, Yura and Kaguya's eyes widened into turkey-sized platters toppled with horror as they all bombarded the three with their items.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru pepper-sprayed them in the eyes and cutting off random chunks of their hair to the shortest limit with his claws while Hojo chained them together, laughing insanely at the utter bone-clattering screams and cries of protesting agony they were getting. After that was accomplished, Sesshoumaru and Hojo shared a high-five, smirking all the way. 

  
  
"Oh yeah!"

  
  
Naraku, Suikotsu and Sango colored, stapled and tweaked over their skin, hair and eyes brows.  
  


  
"LEAVE US ALOOOONE!!" Kikyo cried, pleadingly begging on her knees, which gave an uncomfortable position to the other two yelling girls.

  
  
"KIKYO SIT DOWN!"

  
  
"PLEASE, LEAVE US BE! LET US LIVE!!"

  
  
"OW! MY EYELASHES!!"

  
  
Shippou smirked and looked over towards the laughing n' cuddling couple on the park bench who were crying their eyes out at the scene before them.

  
  
"What do you think you guys!" Shippou said, loud enough for all the rumbling people around to hear. "Should we let 'em go?!"

  
  
"HELL NO!!"  
  


  
"T'was what I thought!" Shippou smirked haughtily as he lowered a ski mask over his face. "Sorry girls, but this just isn't your night! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!! GET BACK TO WORK EVERYONE! It's time for a new make over ladies, don't mind lil' old us now!"

  
  
Crayon and Kouga zoomed in on spot near either side of Shippou, their guns cocked and ready to fire.  
  


  
"BURN, HOBERRY BUSHES! BURNBURN!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Crayon triggered the gun filled with sewer water at the girls, getting it inside of their mouths, hair, clothes, cleavage, the works. Laughing evilly, the hippy noted that, THESE were the best years of her life! She was satisfied with the yelling of terror and gags from swallowing something hard that was sqeezed out from the gun. Crayon skipped in circles around the three, soaking them to the core.  
  


  
"Read to roll, Mon cap-i-tan!!" Kouga's gun, loaded with fresh lemon juice was held at length in front of Kikyo's line of vision. Her eyes widened even more, as she struggled around in the chains, aggravating the other two even more.

  
  
"KIKYO STOP MOVING!"

  
  
"YOUR HURTING US!!"

  
  
"What's he DOING?!"

  
  
"When life gives you lemons..." Kouga stated slowly, not backing down one step from the scowling mazapple. "Make lemonade.. and SQUIRT IT IN PEOPLES EYES!!" Kouga did so, as he triggered the sour toxin into Kiko's eyes.  
  


  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! BUUUURNINNNGGG IM BUUUUURNINNNNGGG!!!! GYAAAAHH!!!"

  
  
"KIKYO! IF YOU STRUGGLE ANYMORE MY HAIR IS GOING TO MESS UP!! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!! ARGH!!"

  
  
"YEAH! STOP IT ALREADY!"

  
  
"GIRLS, WE'RE IN HEEEEEELLL!!" They screeched as the 16 were clutching their stomachs and crying their eyes out, they were laughing so hard.  
  


  
"_Ohmigosh_!" Sango said between gasps, leaning on Miroku for support, and he leaning on her. "Thi-This is too, HAHA, spine-twisting! I-I wish I brought a camera!"  
  


  
*_click!_* *_click!_*

  
  
Suikotsu smiled sweetly as he shoved the camera back into his jean pocket. "Let's continue, shall we?"  
  


  
Renkotsu jerked his head in a suggestive notion, "Hey, BABE." He said, earning Kikyo's attention.  
  


  
"**YOU**!!" Kikyo snarled, un-lady like. (H/N: Everything about her is un- lady like.)

  
  
"Whaaa?" Yura said,

  
  
"_ME_, BABE!" Renkotsu smirked as he pulled out the pail from behind his back, "Supriiiiiisseeeeeee...!"  
  


  
"N-No-ooo--AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! MY HAIR, MY HAIIIIRR!! NOOOOO! I BEG OF YOU, GO AWAY!! hfpfapphff...bleeh.." A blood red Kikyo went spluttering, as her hair was damp with the red stenchy goo.

  
  
*_click!_* *_click!_* "Smile for the yearbook!" *_click!_*  
  


  
"They're all gonna laugh at you....! They're all gonna laugh at you...!" They taunted, cracking up into more laughter, their faces turning redder then ever at her disgusted reaction.  
  


  
"YOU WRETCHES!! YOU'LL ALL BURN IN HELL FOR THIS!!"  
  


  
Naraku stepped up, "Yeah, yeah.. Tell us something we don't know already."  
  


  
Kaguya spluttered up sewer water and lemon juice while trying to talk. "Y-your all ASSHOLES!"  
  


  
"No, hun," Sesshoumaru stated monotonlessly, "THAT, we knew long before your ass was conceived. So shut up, and be a good bitch."

  
  
"That's the Sesshoumaru I know and love!"

  
  
"Shut your hot dog holder, Jakotsu.."

  
  
"Arrrgh... You'll all PAY!"

  
  
Kyoukotsu shook his head ruefully. "Yeah, yeah.. Let's get this over with, never know if the--"

  
  
"_FREEZE_!" Many motorcycle sirens suddenly encircled all around the teenagers, finding themselves trapped an unable to escape or run. Kikyo and her friends smirked gloriously, like dogs.  
  


  
"Finally.. Our Saviors!" Kikyo, Yura and Kaguya screeched as three handsome buff officers started to pick the lock on the tightly bided chains. Some more police officers hassled Renkotsu, Hojo, Kagome and Sango into cuffs as other were starting to be shoved into cars.

  
  
Kagome desperately looked over at InuYasha who was fighting off some officers to reach his girl, Kagome.  
  


  
"_INUYASHA_!!"

  
  
InuYasha was slammed over the head with a pistol butt; blurring his vision.

  
  
"_KAGOME_!!"

  
  
A young officer with short maple brown hair and a tight blue uniform slowed down her cycle infront of the group, bringing out the kick stand under it. She left one leg on the ground with the other over her motorcycle. Her eyes were hidden by light shadowed sunglasses, hiding her identity.  
  


  
"You're all under arrest!"

  
  
**-..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-..o.:.0.:.o..-**

  
Raise your hand if you forgive InuYasha NOW? *raises hand* I am convinced. He is almighty.  
  


  
OoOoOoOoooo, who is the officer?? Guess! Maybe you know already; maybe you don't. I like this chapter best so far. Dunno why; I just do. 

  
  
I skipped a day of school today to write this chapter. Well, I stayed home because I was sick.. But please. I worked reaaaally hard on this chapter. Review for me? PLEASE?!  
  


  
The more reviews I get; the more fluff there will be for the next chapter, how about them cookies?  
  


  
Speaking of which, did you all like the scene between Kag n' Inu? It's my first shot at a romance scene. 13 year-olds aren't exactly used to writing romance; but I might be an exception! ^_~  
  


  
Sorry, but I can't do personally reviewing. I need to go to bed now, but I will give a shout out to all those who reviewed last chapter. I will personally review the review next time, though!  
  


  
For the following people...

  
  
**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_**, **_LtlSwimmerGurl_**, **_Maiden Of The Moon_**, **_punks-rule-preps-suck-deal_**, **_anime-luver2_**, **_Inu-shonen_**, **_loozer-09_**, **_eX Driver Liz_**, **_PeachesDani_**, **_Reina Queen_** (a.k.a. **_Kitty_**), **_Baka-Ryu_**  
  


  
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, EVERBODIES! *glomps you all* ^_^

  
  
That's all for today folks!

  
  
Remember to review and tell me how much you love me!! Err, my story that is!  
  


  
Fluffy pancakes and syrup to drown your cat with,  
  


  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	9. The Red Head Jailbird Vixen

        **!DISCLAIMER!** (_respect my author-i-ty!)_ :  
  


  
InuYasha is ownz0red by Rumiko Takashi and anyone else who says different is a slimy, bottom-feeding, crap flinging, bug-eyed, scar-faced, lying, good for nothing son-of-a-whore who lives with his/her momma at this day and age who still makes him/her smiley faced eggs for breakfast and is often mistaken for boot-licking wombats who can't hold up a job or a report card grade to save their fore-fathers ass from humiliation and non-legal rights in which we all must hold up to honor so much, but here they are, able to live a free life and walk the streets with a manila folder reclaiming their position and yelling it to anyone who dares spare them a glance on the streets of their rotten home town, with lawyers on the chase for their pantyhose trimmings and cash, plus that manila folder in their fat fingers which disclaims nothing to what they own, such as InuYasha, and when Rumiko Takahashi shows up at your door with a magnum pointed to your forehead, you will see me on your lawn in a beach chair with my sunglasses and lemonade laughing my ass off at your foolishness and your opportunity to get sued by one of the most reclaimed money-making geniuses that is known to walk the face of this god-forsaken, sin-bathed planet, hunting down your measly ass into a court of law and justice, which in that case, I shall be in the booth behind you, still wearing my super cool matrix sunglasses, snickering at your intolerance as a child/adult to own such a brilliant thing when you most-likely live in a trailer park loaded with toothless barbarians, known as your family, who have nothing in the house but your computer, a mini cooler, and the Anna Nicole VHS series of "_701 Ways To Eat A Puppy_" collection that only proves your gutter slinging intelligence to even *watch* a fat lady eat her own sisters and consider it comedy, then when your time comes, God will look upon you, shake his head, and thwap you into the inferno of hell where you will be accompanied by Adolph Hitler and the pop shoving pineapple-up-the-ass saga by Lucifer himself at 4 o clock in the morning until dawn, and I will be there hiding behind a rock video-taping the whole thing from the second your boil- infested arse was thrown into hell, to the time where your toe nails were plucked off one-by-one with tweezers, and send them out to your Anna Nicole praising family as virtual Christmas greetings, who will send it on down to America's Funniest Home Videos, only to have it returned back to them because your family is made up of hicks who live in the deep south inside of a pot-hole in the ground, where they _accidentally_ left that video behind, only to be found by baffled bone-robbers who think it's a sign from God way back to the times of ancient millennia, so when 3 years later, you're still in hell with Hitler and his clique, and me with my camera, you will look back on the day in which you said you '_owned_' InuYasha, and Lucifer will laugh, you will cry, and Gregory Powers will be there working on a modem for even more tapes on virtual bashings of yourself which are being sold for a dime a flick, just to make you feel dirty and incompetent when the day comes that George W. Bush shakes his head, thinking that parodies of _himself_ were bad, but he will laugh none-the-less now that the spotlight is on someone else that isn't from his country, so he can't so diddly-shit about it, because _you_ are the one who wanted to be '_cool_' or '_just plain fucking stupid which makes me look like a pill-popping blonde from Valley Of The Dolls_' because saying "I own InuYasha" would make you think that people would laugh or turn angry or get so jealous of you because you think you are superior to everyone else, and you just do not give a fuck because you are all that and a bag of Zig Zags, then when Rumiko comes back to haunt you, she will send men with curses and girls with steroids into your cell in hell, making her new Queen Of The Damned, and you, the former 'girl/boy who cried for help' who turned into 'the girl/boy who cried continuously' so there will be no helping you when things from The Ring and Poltergeist start to plague over you like in The Mummy, you'll be whining for your mummy who is cheering on the Marlins for a winning streak, not giving a damn where you are at, but suspecting that you will come home with another child too, then there I will be, smacking your momma upside the head, making her root for the Broncos, in which she never will, because she sucks the almighty cox0rs, with the manila folder in my hands, blood-impacted and all, so that when the time of Armageddon comes, I shall be sitting under a tree watching everyone burn or get zoned out into the sky like The Simpsons did when Homer and family went to hell, sit down, and smile evilly as Rumiko Takahashi appears next to you with a whip and a LARGE book of ugly wallpaper samples for you to look through with Hitler's wife and choose for your room, which happens to be the devil's arsenal containing a large yellow jar and various people swimming around inside of it, trying to drown themselves into Heaven, but knowing that they are dead, they will forever roaming in a glass of piss with no bathing suites, you will mope around, getting bit in the ass by your ancestor who used to be so proud of you until you became an un glorified sinner who only wanted nothing more then to spread humor to those who are sick of it, and for a spoon with a lump of crunchy peanut butter, Is it so much to ask, you'd think as you are forced to swallow a broken wine glass filled with baboon blood that makes your tongue bleed continuously, and eat a sandwich that looks like Archie Bunker's head which is more likely older then you are, and remorse on the days when you were stupid enough to say you owned something that you didn't, when you had the beautiful chance to go to Heaven and babble on with Mulan and Belldandy about the weather and chocolate sprinkles, but chose to be a wiseass and get stuck with Ayeka and Chocolate to be forever punished by their pervertedness and prissiness by the power of your family in that little trailer park trashed community, may you blow on rectum through bendy straws in a race against Totoro's grandchildren to see who can please Lucifer the most on the days of his PMS short comings, the reigning loser shall be the one to please him like a genie, for you have sinned against the ones of Tokimi and Midoriko, upset them, and made their master fairly unhappy with your skuzzy kitten-shaving habits of dogs and SoBe lizards alike, everyone shall pass you bye and spit on your blinded eye everyday that your reincarnation gets abused, making your entire generation keel over in humiliation for what you have done, and have no sympathy on your pathetic excuse for a living human ass what-so- ever, that angels may not give your incarnations glory, for they are of you, even if they never sinned, they shall be forever scarred by your crazy- daisy attempts to make the world without you happy again, even though you know you can't, and for that all of the cast from any Anime you claimed you ownz0red shall come alive, slowly creeping towards you, singing an extremely eerie version of Cartoon Heroes with weapons in their hands knowing you are not their master, but that you are the scum of the earth, and like to plagiarize man-kind out of their wits and honor, not to mention their hard-work and cold hard cash, which you never will have, because you decided to make the mistake of saying you owned something you really didn't, which is like stealing, and you will be tortured spiritually and physically among the 7 Deadly Sins and its bearers, for as long as you shall have pineapples crammed up your ass on a daily basis.  
  


  
...Because lying is a sin, you know.  
  


  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
**Notes n' shit**:  
  


  
Oh yeah, baby! Guess who figured out how to use HTML Word? That's me! Right there! And also some help from loozer-09 a while back. Thank you!  
  


  
I'm still racked with disappointment in seeing so many Sesshoumaru and Kagome fics.. I'm beginning to wonder if all the InuYasha and Kagome writers have crawled under rocks, ashamed or something. ITS SAD! Just, get them all out of the picture!  
  


  
Drown Kikyo in the (de)Nile, place Sesshoumaru back in his box, kiss Kouga goodnight, and pop shove Naraku into the oblivion. No one can actually be a true blue supporter of Naraku and Kagome, right?  
  


  
…Right?!  
  


  
Well…   
  


  
_Someone_ mentioned to me in an AIM the other day about having people wait for more updates on my fic. Now, I know you hate these, but you have to know, I am a very busy child. And if anyone bitches about me not updating as fast as most people do, well that is too fucking bad, because by putting me on pressure, my writing habits lack.

  
  
And its gonna' be your entire fault.  
  


  
Do not complain. Just wait. In the long run, you will find out it was worth the wait. Bitching and griping will only get you Authors Notes instead of chapters, and I HATE those things. So do not expect one anyways.  
  


  
I don't know how all authors write, but I guess I do things different. I write one chapter, in one day. Notes, Review Replies, and all. I don't want to receive acknowledgement about how I'm not writing fast enough, because you know how long it takes me to write one chapter? Nearly 6 to 7 hours. A lot? Well, that's the way it goes. So if you don't like it, go to hell.  
  


  
^_____Dipwad_____^  
  


  
So! How about that Disclaimer, eh?! If I told you, that whole thing was only two sentences long, would you believe me?.. You better! Because it was! I just keep reading these fanfics where authors think they're so funny as to saying they own InuYasha. Something that took great minds and drawing skillz to make! That's called plagiarizing, and you could get your ass bunted for that.  
  


  
Another 15 or so reviews I got from a name I can't remember, but it was anonymous, was telling me that I set the bitches free and wanted an explanation on "_why did I do that_"? SEE THE LIGHT! Do you know how much fun getting your own ass kicked around in jail is?! Honestly, you just cant picture the humor in that?!  
  


  
Has no one watched the Andy Griffith Show? _Get with it_!  
  


  
It's the modern age here folks. Not the inishie where it doesn't matter how much your bum was busted, just as long as it was minced to chewable bits in the end. Seriously, open up your mind. And don't take this as a flame, because I don't care if you are offended.  
  


  
Just another daily tip, from the over reactive mind!  
  


  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
**_KIKYO, YURA AND KAGUYA BASHING! WOO HOOOOO!_**  
  


  
If you somehow are sickly related to one of these characters, or even like them at all, I advise you now to leave now, or forever choke on flem. Any objections?! None?! Okay we are good to go! Enjoy, and make haste! Whatever haste means.  
  


  
**_SURPRISE GUESTS!_**  
  


  
A few random odds and ends will appear in this chapter. ^_^ If you don't understand any of who I mention, then review or AIM me or e-mail me and I will be happy to explain who they are if you are interested!  
  


  
**_FLUFF!_**

  
  
YAY! This is self-spoken, so I'm going to shut up and start the story!  
  


  
..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..  
  


  
   **Dirty Sneakers**

           Chapter 9: _The Redhead Jailbird Vixen_  
  


  
..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..

  
The maple-haired officer slowly took off her glasses as she spectated the scene in front of her, in awe.  
  


  
The bluish-silver haired boy was currently standing on top of one of the dispatch cars like a rabid beast, shaking the car back and forth like he was some jungle creature that just escaped Jumangi.  
  


  
One that looked just like the man on the car, had silver hair and one arm wrapped around a raven-haired girl's waist. His other free hand occupied a nightstick which he stole from someone, making some officers back off when they tried to take the girl from the guy's clutches. She just gave them the finger while the nightstick man smirked.

  
  
A blue haired girl who was yelling obsanities every chance she got was standing next to two other dudes in combat uniform. The three were using their squirt guns filled with mysterious substances to ward off the police from taking them hostage, while running around like prowling banshees.  
  


  
Kouga tried to take Kagome for himself a minute before, but got beaten over the head with a nightstick. So now that boy opted to just keep himself safe for the time being. The young officer snickered at this.  
  


  
On the other side of her motorcycle, a violent young girl with brown hair in a ponytail and nightclothes was trying to get to the other side, where a boy with his hair in a dragons-tail was trying to run for his life. The girl tipped the bike over and started pummeling the screaming boy to the ground.  
  


  
Another scene caught her eye, when a whole group of teens with crowbars and pig's blood tried to climb the trees to escape punishment. Only one really tall guy stood still, almost daring to let the police take him down. He was like a damn building!  
  


  
Some brown-haired guy, a long ebony-haired man, and a boy with green lip stick were running around with water bottles trying to trip each other while screaming Bloody Mary. The gay-looking kitten found this obviously amusing, kind of like his personal wet tee-shirt contest, and got their clothes wet with his bottle, exposing their abs.

  
  
Except the brown-haired boy who didn't have any, and was being laughed at by both other teens and any other person who happened to see him.  
  


  
Then there were the zaggwabbit hoes. Hoe was actually too good of a word for them. Impudent corrupted little panny-wankers who rode on every mans' coat tails on a free basis, was more like it. Now that she thought of it, why _weren't_ there laws against prostitution? She shook her head, and grunted un-lady like.  
  


  
They had scared off the officers since the chains were taken off. Their hideous looks were starting to scare passer-byes, so they were tied tighter back into their chains while they hollered things about their skin lining and their ridiculously short hair. Man, they were pompous ass ugly!  
  


  
The young officer didn't like the nonsense of people ignoring her. It practically pissed her off the deep end!  
  


  
She coughed, "I said; _FREEZE_!"  
  


  
And the ruckus ensued, without a turn of a head or the blink of an eye.  
  


  
"_YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!_" The peeved girl with the sunglasses hollered.  
  


  
Still no attention. 

        She pulled off her helmet, shaking her short maple hair from its entrapment, and then practically ripping the sunglasses from off her face revealing her beautiful hazel eyes. But evidently, the pissed- off-ness of her sensuality just exploded like a nuclear bomb (H/N: To hell with you, Shotoku Arashaba. The Osama Bin Laden of Japan, everyone.)  
  


  
"EVERYONE HERE IS UNDER ARREST! ERNIE THAT MEANS _YOU_, TOO!"  
  


  
Ernie stepped from behind a tree, blushing, then running off into the vending area shouting "The card! The card!"  
  


  
Kikyo grunted like a yawning mandrill, "Awww... He worked for Estee Lauder!" she made a small inch between her thumb an index finger.  
  


  
"I was this close, this close, to having that guy, too!!"  
  


  
Kagome pinched the internally and physically disgusted InuYasha on his thexy (H/N: Yes, I said thexy! And you know it! :D) muscular arm, receiving a little 'Oi! What was that for, wench?' in reply.  
  


  
"I would like to remind you, that you dated this girl." A hostile grunt from the lady officer and a smack to Miroku's head was heard. Sango popped him upside the head, and verbally beat the shit out of him. Smirking all the way, enjoying her attention even if he did have a bruise the shape and size of Oklahoma on his cheek.  
  


  
InuYasha scoffed and loosened his arm around Kagome a little, blushing a new brilliant shade of pink (A/N: It's called red, stickweed. H/N: I say pink, because it is. Sod off!) recognizing their position.  
  


  
"Don't remind me, it's enough just even hearing _their_ voices."  
  


  
Kagome rose a curious eyebrow, also blushing a bit of pink, "Their?"  
  


  
InuYasha jerked his thumb in their direction, "Kikyo, Yura, Kaguya, whatever they are."  
  


  
After getting the Shichinin-tai out of the tree and Naraku settled down, Jakotsu was put into cuffs for safekeeping and everyone else lined up in a row in front of the maple haired officer's motorcycle with her standing near it. She was rubbing her temples while everyone else, even her officers were getting bored holding them into place.  
  


  
Just when one of them was about to speak a giant hole in the ground formed, and out came a man with a large backpack, a black and yellow bandana, and a black and yellow martial artist combo outfit. He had fangs, an odd pink umbrella and a confused expression that everyone there also had on, showing it off proudly.  
  


  
The man looked around at all the glares/gapes and crumpled the map in his hands.  
  


  
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?!"  
  


  
Ginkotsu winced and gave off a flat look to his bros who gazed back just as 'is-this-guy-not-all-here-because-he's-all-there?' looks.  
  


  
"Dude," Naraku started. "you're in Tokyo. Have you no respect? Have you no shame?"  
  


  
"Have you sense of direction?" Shippou squiggled a bit before oddly exchanging glances with fang-boy. The red head boy shook his head and laughed at the guy's total naïve attitude.   
  


  
The boy smiled nervously before catching Kagome's glare. The boy stuttered abit before clasping his hands in hers, a mencing growl erupted from InuYasha that the bandana boy chose to ignore. WRONG MOVE!  
  


  
"A-Akari? Is that really you?! You dyed your hair a-and changed you fashion sense and everyth-thing! You look beautiful!" He blushed crimson, not really able to give out comments properly.  
  


  
He found himself poking holes in a nearby tree with his index finger.  
  


  
"I-It's me, Akari. Ryouga! Ryouga Hibiki! Don't you remember?"  
  


  
Kagome blushed alittle before brushing her hands out of the hansome guy's clamped ones,  
  


  
"Akari...? Uh, I'm sorry, but my name is Kagome." Kagome caught Ryouga's embarrassed yet still confused gaze, and sighed.  

       "I'm Kagome. KA-GO-ME, I live here in Tokyo..." Kagome looked up at InuYasha, who was just hissing in unknown anger. "Akari, huh?"  
  


  
Ryouga immediately blushed 10 fold the normal color, that it looked like he was a firecracker at a Macy's day midnight parade. Ryouga also noticed the scowling wolf-boy with a crowbar, dog-boy cracking his knuckles and twitching his ears, and bank-boy wreaking a small scowl. And three trollops giving him akward, but they thought it was a charmer, stares.  
  


        "Ehehe.. S-sorry, m-my mistake!" Ryouga turned to Kagome and bowed deeply. Feeling uncomfortable, she ushered him up into a standing position, reminding him that it's all right, and her name was Kagome.

        InuYasha scowled and put a hand in his dickie pocket. "Yeah, he better be sorry. Kagome, leave the boy be, he's oviously a naïve S.O.B." 

        At those words the bandana-clad man turned to InuYasha, red in the face. Out of anger, and embarassment.

       "WHAT DID YOU SAY, _DOG BOY_?! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DEMISE!" Ryouga whipped out his pink umbrella, ensuing a fighting stance. Well, that's what poor Ryouga thought right before Ernie came back with a cold water bottle. Ernie tripped over grass, spilling the bottle's contents all over umbrella-boy.

       Just then, a small black piglet re-appeared in Ryouga's spot, shaking water from himself, by shaking his head back and forth.

       The piglet opened his eyes. One glance at everyone's stunned faces, and one disappointed one, that pig high-tailed it outta  there like Jimmy Dean has just run by with a gun and a croaky rendition of Elmer Fud's voice yelling, "_Pig season! Pig season!_".

  
(H/N: Can I just say something real quick? Of course I can. Well, Kouga and Ryouga, if you have not known, share the same voice actor, Mike Donovon. Real cool guy, if he was my father that would rox0rs. But anyways, I just wanted to tell you this because Ryouga and Kouga not only rhyme, but they are both from Rumiko Takahashi's brilliant mind. 

 **~** Akari is a girl in Ranma ½ who runs a farm of sumo pigs (Nice one, Takahashi!) and loves pigs. Obviously. For everyone who doesn't know of Ryouga-baby, he has a Jusenkyo curse that turns him into P-chan, a black pig. Ironic? Hell yeah. Akari has fallen for him in Manga #god-knows-what when Ryouga has defeated her GIANT pig from beating up helpless men on Nerima's streets. She declared that the man who is strong enough to take down her pig, she would marry. Betroth. Engage. However you put it, Ryouga was the one who has defeated it, and Akari falls in love with him. Which is insanely ridiculous. Not knowing that Ryouga _is _P-chan (until later), she falls in love (an animal love; nothing serious) with the bold pork chop, too. 

        **BUT—**What is _truly_ ironic, is the fact that Akari is the _splitting_ image of Kagome. Akari is just brown-haired with highlights. I can care less for Akari in any way. She can jump off a bridge for all my caring is concerned. Though, I might not be a big fan of Akari x Ryouga, I'd much prefer Ukyo x Ryouga because it seems more...I don't know. _Right_? 

       That concludes that explanation. Get it now?

        And did you know that Shippou means 'silver', Kagome means 'divine protection', Jaken means 'snake bone', and Naraku means 'hell'? 

         Oh yeah, and I also trip over grass.)  
  
  
The hazel-eyes officer had about enough of the groping and small-talk, pulled out her gun and aimed it towards the group of bumbling teens.  
  


  
"ONE MORE WORD OUT OF ANY ONE AND I'LL CAP YOU RIGHT NOW!"  
  


  
..tumble…weed..._wooooosh_..!  
  


  
She smiled slightly, "I am officer Kajou, Rin. You are all under arrest as of tonight and will be sent to Ko-nfure-kusu (Corn flakes) Juvenile. I doubt you'll live without being scarred for life; so kiss your sanity goodbye." Rin spoke crystal clear, making everyone but the porisu (police officer). 

        A lot of buzzing went around. Things like, '_Oh yay, just how I wanted to spend my vacation._' or '_What is this sanity she speaks of?_'.

       "Any last questions?" Rin asked sweetly as she put her gun back into the holder by her side.  
  


  
Sango quirked an eyebrow, "Yeah, one ova' here miss! What exactly are we being accounted for?!"  
  


  
Rin's eyes slitted, pointing her finger over at the three hideous jabberwockies, "Attempt of assault and battery. Though you didn't get very far without visible cause, I'm still holding you accountable for what you all did. Even if I now understand why you did it."  
  


  
Sango shook her head to the side and yanked on her plaid sweater sleeve, "Okay. That sounds fair enough."  
  


  
        Rin rose an eyebrow, "But that is not all. You have disturbed the peace, entered an unauthorized area, carelessly kidnapped a girl-"  
  


  
"With all due respect," InuYasha jabbed in. "I only wanted to talk to her in _private_, and how the _hell_ did you ever find out that I stole her?"  
  


  
InuYasha grumpily folded his arms across his chest and started to pout. Rin totally ignored his attitude and questions, and continued to drone on about what they did in violation to the Tokyo code. Kagome pulled on InuYasha's sleeve a bit, trying to get his attention.

  
  
"You know, you look cute when you pout." She grabbed pulled him down by his dreadlock, giving the blushing boy a kiss on his fuzzy ear. "But don't be such a spoil sport." 

        A small purr of surprise and content escaped his lips, making Kagome blush and giggle. That only made him blush a little bit more, feeling his knees go a tad weak by her sweet gesture.  
  


  
'_S-she kissed my ear.. A-and said I was cute..._' He looked back down at Kagome who was still giggling, making her hoop earring swish a bit. '_Oh, Kagome.. Do you feel the same way I do, or are you just teasing me?_'  
  


  
Dog-boy smirked and went back to listen to the blundering porisu.  
  


  
      "...and flirting with official authorities while being taken into arrest under Tokyo custody."  
  


  
      Yura and Kaguya blinked, "That's a law, here?"  
  


  
      Rin appeared slightly amused, "I don't know where you people come from, but wherever you were, I'm just going to say: _ITS ILLEGAL HERE_. Now Kiyone, Mihoshi. Get these fools into the cars. We'll sort out their bail with Judge Hachi when we get back. Let's move out!"

  
  
       "Yeah, yeah.." Kiyone grumbled and grabbed Naraku, Shippou and Crayon by their shirt collars, dragging them into her car. 

       "Can't believe I was fired from Galaxy Police to put up with_ this_ crap, different day."  
  


  
       "Sure thing, Rin-chan!" Mihoshi, the human air bubble, cheerily grabbed Kagome and InuYasha's shirt sleeve and instructed Sango and Miroku to follow her.  
  


  
"Aren't you excited, Kiyone? Our first capture today!" Mihoshi bubbly patted the kids into the car in a safe motherly manner, and buckled their seat belts giving them a lecture on safety as she piled into her car.  
  


  
"...I mean, I'm underpaid, single, and I'm working for the dumbest fucking police force known to man." Kiyone carelessly shoved the kids into the car making them bicker louder about bitches and how they know why she is single. 

       "And with Mihoshi, no less. I must be the Super Bowl to the Fates or something."  
  


  
Rin grabbed the nearest boy, Sesshoumaru, and started to cuff him and get him into a dispatch car. He looked like a pretty dangerous thug, but a handsome one indeed, and gave her the feel that he was a pretty mysterious guy.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru looked up at her from inside the car, which she helped him into, "Lady, you're lucky you're a police officer, or else I'd swear you off about touching my hair right about now."  
  


  
Rin feigned shock, "Oh my goodness! You wouldn't dare harm lil ole' me, now would 'ya? I'm so scared, my braces are chattering!" (H/N: She doesn't have braces. I'm just making her imitate a hick.)  
  


  
Sesshoumaru sulked and shot her a glare, "Lady-"  
  


  
        "My name is Rin, use it to your advantage."  
  


  
He snorted and leaned back in his seat. "Alright, _gRin_. I'll make it so you won't-Damnit! You see what you did?! You totally ruined my comeback mood! For a porisu, you suck!"  
  


  
She glared down at him with a 'are-you-for-real-?' glare and slammed the door in his face with a 'Hmpfh!'.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru gravely tailed her with his eyes until she hopped on her motorcycle instructing the car filled with the teens to follow her to Ko- nfure-kusu.

  
  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..** _In Ko-nfure-kusu Juvenile Facility_. **..:.. !(.=-*- =.)! ..:..**  
  


  
A long hour and ½ later, they arrived at the facility in blaring sirens and shouting manners. All, 20 of them were lead to a basement cellar with vanilla painted bars that were chipped by finger nails, exposing the cold silver metal, and with vanilla walls with white lights that led down a pathway into the barred rooms.  
  


  
"I don't under stand like, why we're like, here thooooough!" Kaguya chirped, still smacking on red bubblegum. Oblivious that it was covered in molded pig's blood.  
  


  
Deputy Chocolate smirked sadistically, "Because, hun. Something as ugly as you three shouldn't be able to walk the streets." The only answer that was received was a brilliant "oh yaaaaaah.." like it was the most obvious answer in the world to them.  
  


  
Each cell had no side or front walls, just bars. They had one window in each cell that was also barred, but had a white sturdy ceiling on the first to levels. There were 3 layers of cellars that went into a circular pattern with white concrete stairs that led to upper levels where others kept in place.  
  


  
They had been told by officer Chocolate that they would be staying on the first floor where all the other crazies like them were.  
  


  
Most of them thought that hands and arms would stick out from the bars, trying to grab a hold of a passer bye and beg them to be released. But as they walked down the pathway, they heard singing. Not choir, but actual a bit alto singing led by a woman and some worn out guys and girls. Plus some ecstatic guys and girls pitching in too.  
  


  
"_Show me the way to go home..._" 

        Every cell had a different voice, and it was freaking them all out. None of the officers made a move to stop it. Now that they mentioned it, they noticed after a bit, that there was no porisu watching over these people. Only the ones that were leading them to their cells were in the room.  
  


  
"_I'm tired and I wanna go to bed..._" 

        The place looked like a cheap remake of Crybaby's prison. Right now, some of the Shichinin-tai were sniggering because they knew some people in here, and it's always grand to laugh at your enemies.  
  


  
       "_Oh, I had a couple drinks about an hour before, and it got right to my head._"  
  


  
Chocolate made a gesture with her neck and index finger, a pretty deadly looking one at that. 

       "That's enough! This ain't Crybaby, so shut your dirty mouths!" 

       Boos and hollers erupted the once solemn place as random objects were aimlessly thrown to her feet. Deputy Chocolate stormed over to four empty cells, and randomly thrown the four closest people besides them inside. 

      After that was accomplished toughly, she gave another last shout to the booing crowds who stuck their arms out through the bars. Everyone making a thumbs-down procedure, Chocolate gave them the middle finger and stormed away angrily.  
  


  
Inside the cells, they were completely baffled. In one room, Miroku, InuYasha, Kagome, Sango and Jakotsu were placed.  
  


  
The second was held in with Renkotsu, Suikotsu, Kyoukotsu, Mukotsu, and Ginkotsu.  
  


  
The third cell held Kikyo, Yura, Kaguya, Naraku, and Sesshoumaru. And a sleeping Hojo, too.  
  


  
And the last cell contained Shippou, Crayon, Kouga, a very tall green- skinned red-eyed man, and a slender lady with dazzling red hair that was raised in a ponytail, creamy skin, hazel eyes, and a pretty purple hyacinth in her hair. Accompanied by a disgruntled scowl.  
  


  
Immediately after they were thrown in their places, the whole cellar started shouting and raving from across each other about their new imports and how cute some were. Or how ugly and cheap they were.

        WOO! Was it loud or was it loud?! It was indeed, loud. (H/N: &_& ---The face that pops up when I have no clue as to why I wrote the last line)  
  


  
        **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..** _In InuYasha's Cell_ **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
"I can't believe this!" Kagome sighed. "Arrested for doing Tokyo a favor. Taking out the garbage. And I think I got a cut too, that damn lady threw me across the lock." (H/N: I've seen those. They have little chipped sharp things there on the edges that stick out. Don't ask me how I know; I just do. _)  
  


  
InuYasha made a caring gesturing notion for Kagome to come over to him. 

        "Lemme see, Kagome." The amber-eyed teen cooed gently, totally screwing off his former look of antagonism. "I can't believe that police here aren't more careful. The bastards!" When she was close enough for him to reach out, he gently grabbed her arm and starting searching for any bruises or wounds. 

        Soon, him and Kagome started a conversation that led from antibiotics then somehow led to hypochondriacs and pina-coladas.   
  


  
Miroku ruffled his own hair out of his face as he sat up from his misdemeanor. About 7 minutes after he was thrown to the floor like an abused snail. 

         He saw a cherry-red InuYasha caressing a cherry looking Kagome and wondered why they were not in a cocktail salad, because that's as far as Miroku's intelligence span goes as of now. They were in jail, and the man was thinking about fruit salads.  
  


        Perverted snail, gutters are for heads!

  
Sango swiped imaginary dust from her shirt and looked up to see Miroku looking at InuYasha and Kagome perversely.  
  


  
Sango smirked to herself, "My, my, my... We didn't think you two had it in you for public affections!"  
  


  
InuYasha and Kagome's heads snapped up, blushing even more though they were frozen in their position. Kagome caught Miroku's perverted glance as her eyes started twitching. 

        "And what are you, looking at, Houshi?"  
  


  
Miroku's perverted grin got wider; "I think we should be the ones asking you two that question."  
  


  
InuYasha got alittle nervous, "Err, it's not like that, Miroku you distorted loon!" Though his hand was on Kagome's knee and his arm was lifting up her shirtsleeve to check for wounds, it didn't look like a civil position to the three other people in the cell. They both noticed their position and scrambled out of it, moving farther apart from each other.  
  


  
InuYasha's main thought: "I would kill them if there were no cameras! Jesus Christ, we can't even get privacy in a jail. Though I'm not surprised, it's pretty weird around here. " Obviously trying to keep his mind off of a certain someone for the time being.

  
  
       Kagome's main thought: "20$ says Miroku was thinking about fruit. Speaking of fruits... I wonder if he even notices the one behind him." Obviously trying to make the best out of her blushing jam.   
  


  
Sango wore a grin so stunningly similar to Miroku's that it would shock your grandchildren out of their virgin eyes.  
  


  
       "Suuure.. Kagome-chan," Kagome looked up to her life-long friend, kinda terrified. "Is there something you're not telling us?"  
  


  
Kagome straightened out, making her face straighten into a talking position. "N-"  
  


  
        "_MIROKU-HONEY_!"  
  


  
*_GLOMP!_*  
  


  
"GAAAH!! JAKOTSU, GET OFF'A ME! SANGO MY ARROW OF CUPID HELP ME RID OF THE MONSTEEEER!!"

  
  
"COOKIE MONSTER TO _YOU_, DOLL FACE!"  
  


  
"TASUKETE!!! NAIJO, NAIJO!!" (H/N: Tasukete: Help! Naijo: Wife's Help. Hehehe!)  
  


  
Sango's eyes twitched as she scrambled over towords Kagome to sit next to her and spectate the humiliating scene.  
  


  
"Shikatanonai!"

  
  
Miroku helplessly looked up to his girlfriend, "N-no...?" He put on his best puppy face as Jakotsu started to cut off the circulation in his left arm.

  
  
The brown-haired girl desperately glanced at Kagome, then to InuYasha, then to the small witch in the neighboring cell.

        "Hello, neighbor!"

  
  
        "SAAAAANGOOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
  


  
Kagome sent a glance to the bickering boys, then to InuYasha who edged away in a corner away from Jakotsu.  
  


  
        "Funny, I always thought that rape was illegal."

  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  


  
InuYasha heard Kagome over the racket and shook his head in turmoil for his great friend, Miroku. He did that little cross thing that you do with both shoulders, your chest and forehead. "May he rest in pieces."  
  


  
"PIECES?! What kind of a friend are you?! KAGOME! HELP ME! KAGOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  


  
InuYasha covered his ears and watched as Kagome sighed, and then gotten up to pry Jakotsu off of Miroku.  
  


  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Oh there you are! Thank you!"  
  


  
"Get 'ur hand off my ass!"  
  


  
*_POW!_*  
  


  
"OW! InuYasha, what was _that_ for?!"  
  


  
"For touching Kagome **_there_**, you little lech!"  
  


  
"YEAH, SAIKO SUKEBE!" (H/N: Saiko: It is pronounced just the way it's spelt. Sukebe is pervert.)  
  


  
"I'm so abused."   
  


  
"Step back away from my Miroku-kins, bee-yotch!"

  
  
*_BUNT!_*  
  


  
"OW! Inu-chan, that _hurts_ me you know!"  
  


  
"Shut your ball washer, Jakotsu!"  
  


  
"oOoOo, wouldn't you like me too?"  
  


  
"GO IN THE CORNER AND PRAY FOR SOME FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO SUCK ON!"  
  


  
Miroky gasped in icy shock. "_YOUR_ MIROKU-KINS?! NOOOOOOOO!! SANGGOOOOOO!!!"  
  


  
Said girl couldn't take it anymore, and scrambled towards Miroku. She enbraced him in a hug like a flash of lighting, stroking his hair as he racked himself with fake sobs. He wrapped his hands around her waist and flakily sobbed into her upper torso.

  
  
"It was h-horrible, S-Sango-chan! _HORRIBLE_! I w-was sitting down, then BAM! T-there he was, and I was all scared, and I-I thought I was gonna _DIE_ Sango, I was gonna _DIE_!!"  
  


  
Sango clenched her fist to his scalp receiving an 'oh, oops. ow!' from him.  
  


  
"HENTAI!"

  
  
*_SLAM!_*  
  


  
Miroku slid down the wall with swirly eyes @_@ as he was out cold.  
  


  
"What a pervert."

  
  
Everyone nodded in recognition and pity. Yeah, well, except for Jakotsu who went back to smiles and giggles while hugging the rest of the conscious out of him.  
  


  
Kagome poked Sango in the shoulder blade, "Aren't you going to get him?"  
  


  
Sango shrugged, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."  
  


  
       **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..** _In Shichinin-tai Cell Two_ **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
"Jack."

  
  
"Queen."  
  


  
"King"  
  


  
"Seven."  
  


  
Everyone in the cell glared at Mukotsu.

  
  
Suikotsu's smile withered, "Don't you have an Ace, Mukotsu-san?"  
  


  
"...No."  
  


  
"ARGH!!"

  
  
They threw their cards in several directions, not caring if people in the other cells used them to try and pick their locks.  
  


  
"When was the last time we told you, you were as good as nad sap?" Bankotsu said irritatingly.  
  


  
Mukotsu looked around frantically, "Wazz did I do wrong?!"  
  


  
"You were dropped as a child too much," Ginkotsu sighed. "Probably counts for every card-bumming zealot."  
  


        Renkotsu nodded, "I told mother that dropping him on the coffee table would not increase his brain wave rate."

  
Everyone but the now totally confused Mukotsu sighed and shook their heads.  
  


  
   **   ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**_The Sluts cell with Naraku, Hojo and Sesshoumaru _**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
"And like, ohmigod! Like, stop staaaaring at me!" Kaguya pointed a finger at Naraku who was blandly staring out the window. '_Now why the hell would anyone want to look at her?_' He thought, and went back to star gazing.  
  


  
Naraku loved star gazing.  
  


  
"Like now, he's tooooootallllly crushing on meeeee!"  
  


  
"OoOoOOoOo!!"  
  


  
Hojo was asleep, and not caring if Kikyo, Kaguya and Yura were sitting on him apparently crushing his ribs by their weight, but if he woke up right then, he would have gotten a nasty surprise. No one likes Kikyo's ass in their face when they wake up, unless they've paid for it. Still, they wouldn't like it.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru was also looking out the window, finding nothing more interesting to do. Which Yura and Kikyo took it the wrong way, and thought that he was staring at them with that bewildered expression.  
  


  
"Like, Ohmigosh!" Kikyo shouted like a bat out of hell, a kid out of candy, or a Gorilla out of Viagra, "Sesshoumaru is totally staring at my face! Oh girls how do I look?!"  
  


  
Yura shook her head, making her short hair swish back and forth, "Like, uh-uh! He's totally looking at my boobs! My _boobs_!" Sesshoumaru's eye ticked dangerously.  
  


  
(H/N: I guess Amanda was right, Yura is nasty.)

  
  
"NUH-UH! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!"  
  


  
"BUT HE'S TOTALLY CRUNCHING ON ME!"   
  


  
"Shut up you prostitues, I'm not looking at anyone of you."  
  


  
Kaguya smirked, "Ha! That proves it, he was looking at me!"  
  


  
        Sesshoumaru grunted, trying to get comfortable on the stone cold floor. "No. I wasn't. Go to hell you naïve doosh bags."  
  


  
The three girls bickered on about how the two boys were secretly '_crunching_' on them. But that's not was drew Sesshoumaru's attention to the window.  
  


  
It was that police officer that had the bravery to stand up to him, that girl. what was her name? Rin? 

        Yeah, that was it. 

        He saw her talking to a guy with strange tinted glasses, a red trench coat, a black suite underneath. He wore black buckle up boots to match. The guy shifted around an outsized cloth covered cross on his shoulders, running a black gloved hand through his spikey yellow hair.  
  


  
The man was listening intently to Rin, almost in deep concentration. After a few minutes of talk, he bowed with a smirk and went off into the building next to the Juvenile Facility he, Sesshoumaru, was locked up in. The Rin girl hopped onto her motorcycle and sped out of looking distance, a small smile gracing her features.  
  


  
Sesshoumaru pondered why on earth she would be smiling on such a job she was taking. '_What can I say. Women are just plain weird._'  
  


  
"NO! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!"  
  


  
"BACK OFF SLUT, HE ISN'T! YOU'RE TOO SLEEZY TO LOOK AT!"  
  


  
*_GASP!_*  
  


  
"HOW DARE YOU!"

  
  
*_SLAP!_*  
  


  
'_Yup. Weird._'  
  


  
     **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..** _In Kouga's cell_ **..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
"So." Shippou exhaled noisily. He took a glance at the red haired girl and the huge green froggish looking boy. "Who're _you_ people?"  
  


  
The red haired girl frowned as the red-eyed boy twiddled his thumbs. Kouga and Crayon looked up in interest as the girl their age opted to speak after consoling the boy next to her that they weren't here to make fun of him. Still, the boy hid his face in his palms, making the girl's frown deeper.  
  


  
She turned to look at their three new cellmates, "My name is Ayame." She said strongly, as if defending herself.  
  


  
       "This," Ayame took the greenish boy by the arm, making him whine a little so that his face was visible. "Is Earthboy. He doesn't have a real name, because no one knows his identification."  
  


  
Crayon was about to open her mouth right before Shippou put his hand over it. He signaled a finger over his lips mentioning for her not to talk as if now. It was as if the boy didn't want the attention, much less someone shouting obsanities at him.

  
  
Crayon got the message, and pulled Shippou's arm away from her face.  
  


  
Kouga hoisted an eyebrow, "Doesn't he have a family?"  
  


  
Earthboy sobbed loudly as Ayame casted a disapproving glare his way, "No, he _doesn't_. Can't you tell, you cold-hearted bastard?"  
  


  
Kouga's eyes widened, "You're the one being an obnoxious mule and now I'm the bastard?!"  
  


  
        "YES!" Ayame shouted, pointing a disapproving finger at his eyeball. "YOU'RE THE BASTARD! DON'T YOU MAKE FUN OF MY FRIEND, AND I WON'T MAKE FUN OF YOURS!"  
  


  
"We-Well," He stuttered for a moment, but recovered quickly. "HA! WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, _DILLHOLE_!"  
  


  
Ayame's eyes reigned in fire, "BRING IT ON, SKUT-WEED!"  
  


  
"Grrr.."  
  


  
"Grrr.."  
  


  
Shippou turned to look at Crayon, "I think they like each other, don't you think so?"  
  


  
Crayon nodded, "THE WOLF-WHORE FINALLY FOUND A SK-SKUZZY MATE!"  
  


  
The giant Earthboy ducked in front of Crayon disapprovingly, "What did you call masta?"  
  


  
She shot him the finger, "SIT DOWN, DOOR MAT!" Shippou's eyes widened as did Kouga's and Ayame's.  
  


  
Earthboy casted a watery expression before trampling slowly back to his corner to cry like a baby who has lost his mother in the grocery store. (H/N: A tragic day for mankind)  
  


  
Ayame turned towards Crayon, "What... Did you call him?" she said slowly, as slick as ice.  
  


  
Crayon smirked and let down her glasses a tad, "I called him a FUCKING door mat."  
  


  
"BITCH! I SHALL RELISH YOUR DEMISE!" (H/N: Relish Today. Ketchup Tomorrow.) Ayame lunged at Crayon with her fist, nearly hitting her by an inch. Crayon easily dodged out of the way with her super cool Hong-Kong Phooey techniques she learned from I Love The 70's show on VH1. Ayame crouched down to the floor in one fluid notion, swinging her left leg under Crayon's ankles. Crayon fell flat on her back onto the stone cold floor, yelling obsanities that would make a sailor swine.  
  


  
She heard Crayon grunting and Shippou helping her up, "Awwww, poor little baby relying on her boyfriend to help her?" she taunted.  
  


  
Shippou turned around and thwapped a good smack to her face, making her step back in shock from the pure boy.  
  


  
       "Lay another hand on anyone of us, and I will make sure to wipe that pretty smirk off your face the hard way." Shippou bent down, and helped Crayon back up to a sitting position on the floor, checking for any bruises or cuts visible on her skin.  
  


  
Earthboy looked hopefully over wondered by his friend as she crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.  
  


  
"I've decided that when I die, I'm going to be buried faced down so that everyone who disliked me can just, kiss my ass."  
  


  
Kouga snorted, "Why wait?"  
  


  
Ayame gravely glared at the tanned boy, "Are you implying something wolf-boy?"  
  


  
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am you trashy bride's maid," Kouga seethed. "I'll bet a lot of pretty boys already kiss your ass now then they would when you are dead."  
  


  
Ayame kicked Kouga's foot, "Then that would mean I get some, wouldn't it?"  
  


  
"What do you think?"  
  


  
"Grrr.. TAKE THAT BACK!"  
  


  
"WILL NOT!"  
  


  
"WILL TOO!"  
  


  
"WILL NOT!"  
  


  
"WILL TOO!"  
  


  
"WILL NOT!"  
  


  
"WILL TOO!"  
  


  
"WILL TOO!"  
  


  
"WILL NOT-GODDAMNIT!!"

  
  
Ayame held her head in defeat whilst Kouga smirking in sweet n' sheer victory, "Maybe you're right. I will _not_."  
  


  
Shippou, Crayon, and Earthboy shook their heads as Kouga and Ayame continued gloating/taunting each other like it was the last day to live a free citizen without a permit.

  
  
This was going to be one _hell_ of a night.

  
  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:.. ..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
**More Notes**: YAY! That was a pretty long chapter, right thurr!  
  


  
I wanted to do a simile on Ranma ½ and InuYasha character's seiyuu. It's pretty weird, but there are many connections out there.  
  


  
Ranma (Ranma ½)- InuYasha (InuYasha)- Ryuuichi (Gravitation) - Chuumon (Digimon)  
  


  
Ranma-onna (Ranma ½) - Keitaro's Aunt (Love Hina) - Faye (Cowboy Bebop)  
  


  
Akane (Ranma ½) - Kikyo (InuYasha) (That's pretty shitty; Akane is really macho, but Kikyo isn't. It's just fucked up.)  
  


  
Ryouga (Ranma ½) - Kouga (InuYasha)  
  


  
Kagome (InuYasha) - Laura (Hamtaro)  
  


  
Mousse (Ranma ½) - Quatre (Gundam Wing/AC) - Duo (Bastard!)  
  


  
Kuno Tatewaki (Ranma ½) - Wufei (Gundam Wing/AC)  
  


  
Close Resemblances:  
  


  
Shippou (InuYasha) - Hamtaro (Hamtaro)  
  


  
Miroku (InuYasha) - Kuno Tatewaki (Ranma ½)  
  


  
And that's all I got! I love comparing seiyuus. You can tell, can't you?! Amande helped me out with some of them, I guess it just flows as a hobby. ^~  
  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..  
**  
_OMAKE!!! OMAKE!!! OMAKE!!!_  
  
** ********HIRARI PRESENTS: _WHY?!_ An InuYasha shorty**********  
  


  
Kagome sighed in spit of herself. '_Here goes nothing for the day. Atleast I hope this'll work!_' She climbed out of the well with determination and attitude, even if the inu-hanyou was sulking about her not arriving on his every beck n' call.  
  


  
InuYasha looked down as he heard Kagome come up to the tree. He leapt down with an angry scowl, landing with half perfect grace in front of her.  
  


  
"What took you so long, bitch?! Didn't I tell you, come back in 2, that's right, _2 days_? _Not 3_!!"  
  


  
'_Teach him to scream at me, shall I?_' She remembered that evil plan in her head, and gathered up all of her will power to tame the angry inu. Hah, tame.  
  


  
Kagome placed her hands upon her hips and elevated a brow seductively at him. InuYasha stepped back an inch in surprise from her forwardness. Was this the same Kagome in which was so innocent and pure?

         '_W-what is she doing?_'  
  


  
She took a swaying step in front of him, "Why do you call me bitch all the time, InuYasha?" Kagome said softly yet seductively. She took another step closer to the fidgeting hanyou taking her hand and running her fingers through his silky hair.  
  


  
"Ka-Kago-me..?" InuYasha started to pant at the sudden physical contact, and seeing Kagome smirk sexily wasn't helping the situation at all. He gulped in spite of himself, and wrapped his arms around Kagome's lower waist loosely. 

        '_What on earth is s-she thinking?! Is she feeling alright?!_' And though he wouldn't dare say it aloud, he quite treasured the heat radiating from both their bodies into one strong force. InuYasha inwardly smirked gloriously. But soon that smirked erased when Kagome came closer to his face, licking her lips,   
  


  
"You heard me." She replied, her soft and sweet breath tingling his doggie-ear as she pressed her body closer to his in a sexy, yet smooth manner. She stared at his lips hungrily for a moment in time, before choosing to speak again.  
  


  
"Don't you know that 'bitch' means 'female dog', InuYasha? Are you trying to tell me something.Inu-chan?" Kagome looked up into his eyes, running a slender finger slowly down his jaw line. Then tracing over his soft lips, torturing him intently. A small moaning purr escaping them, making her giggle a tad bit. 

         It's not as if InuYasha wasn't enjoying this, but she was teasing him to a point of no return.

  
  
'_She looks so.. sexy.._' Dog boy gulped, starting to perspire at Kagome's needy touch. '_What is Kagome up t--Wait, I-Inu-chan?!_' InuYasha gulped down his pride as the beautiful ebony-haired girl in his arms lifted her head up a little. Her lips almost grazing over his, making him want to press her so hard to him, that her lips would bruise by the passion he gave to her so pure.  
  
"N-no. Not t-that I k-know o-of.." InuYasha's voice hoarsely spoke, cupping her cheek gently. He lowered his head down himself, so close to her lips...  
  


  
Kagome elevated her head up to his ear, and licked the very tip of it with her tongue. Another pleading and moaning purr sneaking loose from his soft, almost edible lips. "Well, In that case."  
  


  
Kagome pulled her body back a step away from InuYasha's, making him deeply saddened by the sudden loss of warmth and passion. The fuku-clad girl smiled bubbly as she slung her small forgotten blue backpack over her shoulder. She waved her hand and ran past him in a flurry.  
  


  
"See you at Kaede's, InuYasha!"  
  


  
InuYasha's eyes widened as he stood in the deserted area for a moment or two, upon realizing what she had just done, he turned around and chased rapidly after her.  
  


  
"KAGOME!!! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE WHEN I FIND YOU!!!" He smirked as a little 'eep!' came from ahead of him, followed by small round of giggles.

  
  
He will teach her not to tease the almighty InuYasha like that, again! Not that he wouldn't mind.  
  


  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
I just _had_ to write that, my reviewers deserve it! You know why?! **Because my reviewers are the best reviewers out there**! Maybe I'll write omake 'InuYasha's Revenge' in the next chapter if I get enough reviews, okay?! Sound good?! This is so much fun! ^_^ Keep kicking ass, everyone!!  
  


  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
**REVIEW RESPONSES, AHOY!**  
  


  
**_Maiden Of The Moon_**: I updated "I'm Feeling Fine" a week or so ago, I hope you enjoy it! Your review was the coolest, since I just loved it because of. yeah ^_^  
  


  
Kikyo is such a dirty, rampant love-crazed monkey who only wants money so she can look even more paler then she already is. I think she calls it "make-up" but I call it "self denial". What a hoe!  
  


  
I'm feeling much better, thanks!! Nyquil Shooters does the trick. That. and tranquilizers. I wouldn't be anywhere without a few of those! Joking, joking. ^_^' Thanks for your concern.  
  


  
**_EX Driver Liz_**: Thanks!! I love bashing the hag as much as I get the chance. Funny, isn't it?! I hope you like that chapter for today, and maybe if you want to donate any ideas you might have (may they be big or very short) I'd be glad to put in and credit you for them, if you're interested. Thanks, again for the compliments!!  
  


  
**_Drea-chan_**: Yup, it's spelt tutu! Hehehe!  
  


  
I hope you had fun chasing after Sess to put on a tutu! ^o^ Did you get him in it?! PICTURES!! YAY!! No, I'm joking. It would be funny to see him in pink, if we already don't. I mean, Sesshoumaru is hot, but he's hot no matter what he's wearing ya know?

  
  
Yes, I think we all forgive InuYasha by now. ^_^  
  


  
**_Ai _**(**_yami_no_tenshi2000@yahoo.com.hk_**): Yes, I did write earlier in the fic that Kikyo was a slut. SO?! Don't scream at me or I won't except anonymous reviews anymore. Be grateful that I even bash Kikyo, Christ sakes. Now after reading this chapter, do you think she's saved now? If you plan to even review again, don't scream it, or I won't even bothering replying you anymore.

  
  
Just can't take pushy people. Don't like it; don't read it, damnit.  
  


  
**_PeachesDani_**: I'm glad you loved the fluff! I hope you liked this chapter, too! Thank you so much for your compliments!  
  


  
        P.S. I hate preppy bitches too. May it shine!  
  


  
**_Serena71_**: Kikyo got what she deserved, but there's more. There will be tons more where that came from! I don't quite forgive her for interrupting Inu + Kag's moment, and I don't quite think she's gotten what she deserves yet, neh? All whores, die hard.  
  


  
Now you know who arrested them, but I don't blame her much. Actually, there are many fun things to do in jail! I just got to remember them all. _ ^_^ Thanks for your complimentos, they mean a lot!  
  


  
         **_Nini4_**: Thanks for the compliments. And If Kikyo would ever have a theme song, it should be that one right there... Or As I Watch The Sun Fuck The Ocean. Yeah, that would rox0rs! The bitch's personalized theme song, right thurr!  
  


  
Too many Sess/Kags. I'm kinda feeling downdrafted about that. When I go to the PG-13 section of FF.net for a random check-up, all I see is Sess/Kag, Sess/Kag, Sess/Kag, Oh, lookie here, Nar/Kag! O_o  
  


  
HELLOOOOO CIVILIZATION! Where the _hell_ have all the InuYasha lovers gone?! GARH! Pisses me off.  
  
**_Loozer-09_**: That part was awesome! At the time, I was thinking of Sesshoumaru dressed as Jigglypuff from Pokemon, and I just blurted the first thing that came to mind. Obviously, that was it! ^_^ Oh, me and my crazy thoughts.  
  


  
Thanks for liking my bashings! For there will be _much_ more where that came from! And not only to Kikyo this time, but to Yura and Kaguya. Amande hates them-  
  


  
_Amande_: Hate is an understatement.  
  


  
         -a lot, so I decided to throw them into the blender. Little sluts. Well, thanks for reviewing! Damnit, you read and reviewed all my chapters! You're the greatest!! ^___^  
  


  
**_Gueshoo_**: I'm glad you liked the bashings, too! And I certainly hope you like this chapter as much as the last ones.  
  


  
**_SesshoumaruFanCall911_**: Yes, Hojo is a skut-weed, but a very cool skut- weed when he has multiple personalities!  
  


  
That was funny about the story you told me, Colonel Mustard stole your mom's food! Hehe! If I ever had a time to repeat something like that at dinner, I would. But I only live with the wench, and she would automatically blame everything on me, even though she already does. ^_^ I guess that's just what old people do. Besides stinking up the house.  
  


  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much, or more then I have! I hope to make everyone happy with Jakotsu's loveableness and more God related saying that involve Sesshoumaru! ^_^  
  


  
Thanks for the compliments! I appreciated them!!  
  
**_Shisou-sama_**: I loved the last chapter, too, I hope this one compares good ranks for it! ^_~ You were very close to guessing the police officer (porisu) since Ayame and Rin were both in the same chapter! Good guess, and take care!  
  


  
**_EvilBunnies1_**: They got arrested on charges of disturbing the peace (apparently) and many batteries of assault and other crap I mentioned. I totally forgive Inu as well, and am over-joyed that you love my fic so far! Another addition to my Joy Jar. ^_^  
  


  
**_Three-Legged-Dog_** (formerly known as **_Three-Letter-Word_**): I'm so glad I'm loved.  
  


  
**_ReinaQueen_**: Yup! Arrested, alright! Now how many High School fics have the Inu-gumi arrested in? Only one right? Only this one, BABY, YEAH!! There shall be many things that haven't been in other stories happen in this one!  
  


  
I doubt one of them might have political power to get out; it's all up to Judge Hachi to decide the bail! One or more of the Inu-gumi is rich, but there is only one phone call, remember. Who will who call? Will they actually come and make bail? Where will they go if they do get un-arrested? What will the parents do? That's all decided next time! ^_^  
  


  
**_CherryBlossomStorm102_**: I'm that funny?! Great! I always love a sense of humor, you have good taste in humor, I see! ^_~ Thanks for reading.  
  


  
.:: **THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR REVIEWING!! ^_^ PLEASE DO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER AND MAKE US ALL HAPPY TO READ THE NEXT OMAKE AND THE NEXT CHAPTER! WOOHOOO!! **::.  
  


  
**..:.. !(.=-*-=.)! ..:..**  
  


  
I would like to thank the following people for putting me on their favorite author's list:  
  


  
**Serena71  
  
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Inu-Shounen  
  
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Shisou-sama  
  
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Dan-chan  
  
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Loozer-09  
  
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Kyreason, the Evil** (Even though I still **_hate_** you and hope you drown in sibling slobber.)  
  
**Albino the pancake  
  
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Gothic-Kagome14  
  
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Kagome-Chan14  
  
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Kagome-chan15  
  
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Girlwithoutastory  
  
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Three-Legged-Dog  
  
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ReinaQueen  
  
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Foxy 4ever duhh  
  
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Tiggermoogle**  
  


  
_Thank you, you funny bastards, you_!  
  


  
You guys are the _best_, and I wish you all take care! Even my reviewers! Be safe, and don't let Catholics bite your heads off. *CoughKyreasonCOUGH*  
  


  
Please review and send comments on the Omake and chapter, criticism, suggestions, furry animals on down ta' me!  
  


  
Ciao!   
  


  
Much rainy days and enough syrup to drown certain Catholics in,  
  


  
**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	10. My Officer Is That Sadist Over There

       Garh...

       **Reasons to Be Pissed:**

1.) "Coupling", an original British sitcom is being totally revised into an American cast, and is being remade to fit ABC's rating. I am frankly pissed off, because "Coupling" is a fucking grand show (half because it's British, half because it's very sexual in funny ways), and now they are Americanizing it to death to the point where the word 'snog' is no longer an adjective.

2.) I go to the FanFiction.net dictionary and look up the word "cunt" for kicks. (You know you look up bad words just to see what they say, too. Don't deny it.) I am, however, annoyed that my name is in _that_ particular word's example. Out of _all_ the words in the world... My name is spelt correctly and everything in the example. The only time that I don't want my name spelt right, and you know what happens? It's spelt right. And to the person who wrote that example... Your son is a grade A+ idgit! How do you like them apples, Miss. Anonymous?

3.) I Love The 80's is not as funny as I Love The 70's. The 70's was the decade for crazy things (mainly marijuana). The 80's introduced Dungeons and Dragons and jacking off to the Go-Go Girls. As far as I'm concerned, you can take their CDs, break them into bits, and slit your wrists with the broken pieces. 

4.) Post Nasal Drip _does _suck. No, even better—It leaves you _sucking_ for air. There goes my Halloween.

 **Reasons to Be Glad: **

1.) I finally told off one of the "Big Bad Punks" (If you can call him a Punk. He walks around the fucking preps like they were normal people.) Austin, Matt, what not. He and some other queer leader kept poking me in the back. I turned around and clearly told them all, that if they poked me one more time, I will snap their fingers backwards like the man in the Crooked House story. Turns out, that it was a guy named Jason, and that he was the one who kept poking me. If it wasn't for the fact that I was in a Catholic High School, I would have cursed him out right then. But I'm content with what I did already.

2.) Paul Berg thinks my allowance is a joke because he is a rich Columbian. At least I got to punch him. He now keeps a solid 7 feet away from me when having a face-to-face conversation with me.

3.) I found a small squishy toy on the floor at Arch Bishop McCarthy High School. I sold it to Matt D. for 5$. 

And if anyone has taken notice, all of my chapters have been formatted into HTML Documents. I have added on more to previous chapters when revising them, too. I'm pretty happy I got all that accomplished! Now for my other stories . . .

-_- *allows her head crash to her key board*

So my excuse for not updating is the fact that I revised everything. Some words were spelt correctly again, some name errors were changed, and the sentences that made no sense, are even more confusing. Kudos, to you who have reread it all again.

4.) I found a new AIM friend. His screen name is AOL System Msg. I named him Mr. No-talk since he doesn't talk. I have being spilling out my guts to him for the past couple of days, telling him my deepest secrets to the most random shit ever heard of. He's always on, so if you message him, tell him I said hi. He's a real gem, I'm tellin' ya.

**| : [. ' . ' . ] : |  : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] :| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**

**Disclaimer - _SeZZion #01: _**

****

_Hirari: *walks in depressed and takes a seat* Hi. My name is Hirari... And I don't own InuYasha._

_Everyone else: *happy smiles all around the room* Hi, Hirari! We welcome you to the "No Own-Un Prone!" Club! WELCOME!_

_Hirari: Err... Really, now... Oh waltzing Walla beast on a bagel! It's the Trix bunny! *waves* Sup, doc! Why are you here?_

_The Rabbit: I went to Publix to get some of the delicious Trix! But... _

_Hirairi: But...?_

_The Rabbit: ...I was jumped...*sigh* All I wanted was a box of cereal. What has happened to the once lovely country? I can't even buy cereal at the local drugstore! Something needs to be done._

_Hirari: I feel for you, dude, I feel for ya..._

_The Rabbit: *looks up hopefully* Then you wouldn't mind getting me some yogurt?_

_Hirari: Hell, bunny! Does it say Handy Maid May on my forehead?!_

_The Rabbit: *sigh*_

(The morale? I am as helpless as The Trix Rabbit in this situation. The next time you think I own InuYasha, just think of Rumiko Takahashi in my position. And imagine me as the Rabbit. That should boost your brain waves. Still think I own InuYasha--And if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly.)

**| : [. ' . ' . ] : |  : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] :| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**

**Notes for you! Yes, _you_!:**

I have projects to complete in October through November. The next update after this will be in November. Delaying too long? Well, too bad. Everyone who doesn't have something to keep him or herself occupied for life is probably pushing a broom at Jiffy Lube. Hello, airheads! This is for all you down at the station that waited impatiently, like billy goats on Viagra, for my update. Sniff stone and die scum—here is your fucking update. And to everyone else, enjoy the chapter!   

**_Fluff_**, and **_Bashing_ **and all that good stuff is coming your way! Make sure your seat belts are securely fastened at all times! ^_^ 'Cause if I soil your pure brain, then my job here is done.

        **| : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] :| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**

Dirty Sneakers 

Chapter 10: _My Officer Is That Sadist Over There_

**        | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] :| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**

No one slept peacefully that night. They were too scared that a guy named 'Bubba' lived within the premises of Ko-nfure-kusu Juvenile. Jakotsu, on the other hand, slept like a baby in a lilac dream. The title 'Bubba's Bitch' having no affect on his welfare at all.

Kagome snuggled in between Sango and InuYasha as her security blanket from the lecherous man named Maze located a cell across. Maze never has backed down, and will get what he wants by night. Or.. That's what his instincts told reminded himself of. That, and InuYasha's fist.

All was not well in little Cornflakes Prison. 15 girls in very short uniforms from the 2nd story cells were hysterical about 'Eternal moons' and 'Prism Power'. Claiming they were the Salt of the Earth, the heroines of all planets, The Spice Girls. One point they lapsed into a 'Spice Up Your Lives' frenzy. It was a mad house.

"Shake it, shake it, shake it! AN GUARD! Shake it, shake it, shake it! AN GUARD! **_ARIBA_**!!" 

Then a fussy lady in another cell with her friend named after tree-grubbing insects made commotion worse. Rattling against their bars and messing with cell mates, which was more like clawing at chalkboards, made some others nervous while Earthboy cried his big ole' heart out. 

Officer Chocolate slept with her cap hooding her eyes, the two girls made hubbub about sucking her blood and stealing her clothes. Officer Chocolate was oblivious, of course, and paid no heed to the girls nipping at her key belt with their claws. They were, after all, the great Grub and Miyu—Vampires extraordinaire! 

A few units away, 5 out of 20 friends slept almost serenely. The gray ceiling dripped with unknown leaks, as the wallpapers peeled from the sweat it was collecting. And oddly, it looked like a forgotten scene when on tour of the White House chambers. Bickering didn't cease as the five adolescences wriggled around trying to catch forty winks.

"Hey, Yashie-Bo-Bashie-Fee-Fye-Fo-Fashiiie~," Kagome whispered hazily from in-between a quiescent Sango and the drowsy boy. InuYasha blinked as his head leveled back to see Kagome, and blinked away some of his siesta. (H/N: So many words for sleep)

"What?" Replied the now yawning canine-boy. Chances of waking up a teenaged boy as stubborn as InuYasha is like scientifically claiming the mysterious Canoka Nogua in Canada was actually an obese spotted water elephant. InuYasha yawned broadly as he scratched at the vanilla colored bars absently with his claws, before snuggling cozily into Kagome's chest in content sleep. 

She froze. Kagome's eyes amplified by his absent movements as his ears flickered innocently, his visage resembling pure bliss. '_Hell, he better_,' Kagome thought, her whole body seemingly turning into a human cocktail cherry. '_That's **my** chest he's on!_' She looked skeptically down at InuYasha, blushing like mad. "Gah!"

The moment seemed to freeze before a sudden 'click!' went unheard by the sleeping people in the cells. Some of the people in Cornflake's Juvenile were total insomniacs, including Naraku, who was chatting up a storm with a neighboring insomniac who seemed to have robotic eyes, black clothes, and deep violet hair. 

Dorothy Wayne... Right? 

Kagome poked at his pallid doggie ear, causing InuYasha to wake from his little slumber. His golden pools of radiance fluttered open, and wondered when his pillow gotten so supple and…_squishy_. And since when did his pillow have arms, ebony hair, and lungs? '_Uh oh..._' InuYasha's eyes widened to the size of British teacups, as his gaze slipped up to Kagome's burgundy tinted face.

"Err..." Was InuYasha's gifted IQ in squat words. "I feel like I should be.. explaining something...But I don't quite know what I did.. Help..? Ehehe...he.." Kagome blinked in reply, cutely tilting her head in confusion that it made InuYasha blush more. 

The shady-haired girl cast a sour expression upon her features. Her attitude level reaching a whooping 7 feet above ground. Kagome '_Hmpf!_'ed, then started shoving InuYasha off her chest. He seized the cold cell bar, glowering at the midnight-haired lass that had squiggled her way 4 feet away from him. 

When he settled back down, InuYasha shot Kagome a middle finger, which she returned just as rebelliously. The tenseness of the whole situation seemed to crumple into tiny bits as the two teens sent each other freakish glares. Some other chamber mates that were conscious watched them oddly, and monitored their circumstances. They clung to the dowels of their sect, peevishly sighing or whispering. 

Kagome looked away bitterly with her arms folded across her chest. Leaning alongside the bars of her barred cubicle, she sighed exasperatingly,  "Loofa Sponge."

He smirked, mimicking her movement in quick tone. "Prat."

"Barbaric dolt."

"Beauty School drop out."

All of Kagome's jerky movements awaked Sango. Geez, she slept like the dead. The lethargic chestnut haired girl stirred, blinking her russet colored eyes open. "Why so bouncy, 'Me? I might need a Dramamine in a minute.."  

Kagome, startled out of her common sense, peeked down at the murmuring Sango. Good. She was still asleep... Or so she thought she was asleep. Through the barred windows, moonlight poured down upon them in sallow stripes. The stars sprinkled their excel on the inhabitants of Earth, casting a tranquil scene for all to view on that strange night.

A feeble silence had rung throughout the prison. Midnight mumbles were perceived on low voices, as to not wake the several other sleeping cellmates. InuYasha fiddled with his shirt hem before looking back up to Kagome who was starting to nod off onto Sango's head. 

InuYasha fumbled and fidgeted around in his spot for a mere moment, before he started to speak again. "Kagome, I—"

He was cut off from speaking when the velvet haired officer, Officer Chocolate, rammed the large steel door open with one single hand. She stood in the inflexible metal entryway; with a Nokia cell phone in her other hand and a pissed look on her face. 

"Alright," She spoke, after eyeing each one of the 70 or more cells with rigid eyes. Painfully slowly she glared at them, too. Walking to the center of the globular penal complex, Chocolate situated herself to get a good view of all the detained coin-lickers. 

"Which one of you delinquents goes by the name, 'Onigumo, Naraku'?"  She held the cell phone a little higher into the air representing the fact that _someone _had called the _prison _instead of the other way around. Damn it, someone figured.

As soon as the words left her mouth, every sleeping person, and alert insomniac bellowed and barked his or her claims to be this 'Naraku' person. 

"It is _I_!!"

"NO! _I'M _ONIGUMO, MISS!"

"Shut your mouth Serena, FOR **_I _**AM ONIGUMO!"

"WANNA FIGHT ME ON IT, _MARS_?!" 

"BRING IT ON, _CELESTIAL SLUT_!"

"_OH NO_ YOU DIDN'T!!"

Chocolate internally sighed, '_I knew this would happen.._' The whip-clad bureaucrat ignored the edgy yowls and unnerving jangles of the bars. 

**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **_Shichinintai's Cell_…** | : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**

They were all frozen with the fear of never getting out of their crooked torment. All of 'em!

Ginkotsu stared at his dislodged fingernail in helplessness. He and his brothers gave up on trying to beat Mukotsu up into a smaller pulp then he already was, and heard everything from when the sadistic police officer came in with one of them cheap phones with the blue screens that glow in the dark. It was the only thing that got people's attention. That glow _is_ pretty cool. 

"We're never going to leave..." Ginkotsu sighed. His deep voice wavered with worry and agitation. Renkotsu nodded in agreement, his bandana-covered head in his hands. "I agree. We'll never leave this damnation!" 

Kyoukotsu stared down at his deck of cards, shuffling them fancily like a real poker dealer would in the light, sound, and whore filled city known as 'Vegas'. "It was worth it, though..."

Bankotsu looked up from kicking Mukotsu. He sat down on the floor next to Kyoukotsu with a bemused expression that cloaked his facade. "It was kinda fun, wasn't it..?"

They glimpsed at Bankotsu in memorable thought. "Yeah.." was their group reply before bowing their heads in deep concentration to escape their captivity. 

Suikotsu patted his older brother, Ginkotsu, on his large dysfunctional shoulder comfortably. "Now, now… Do not worry, brothers. We still have our bail to worry about. Maybe... just maybe..." Ginkotsu, Mukotsu, Renkotsu, Kyoukotsu and Bankotsu looked at their sibling hopefully. "We might have a low bail to pay... Say.. Isn't Naraku rich?"

The 6 cellmates of the Shichinintai slowly raised their heads, with just _one_ thought on their minds...

'_Redrum._'

**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **_With Hojo, Sesshoumaru, The Three Little Prostitutes, and the real Naraku... _**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |**__

"I.. can't breath.." Hojo wheezed. Kikyo weighed over the calculated tons of a hoard rhinos. "Need.. tree... aloe vera... mommy...!" 

Kikyo rolled her glassy eyes. (H/N: Not as in 'glassy pretty' but as in 'I've-been-high-lately glassy'.. Or is that bloodshot? Ah, hell with it.) She poked his tummy button making him giggle like the Pillsbury doughboy.

"HOO HOO!"

"Like! Hush up, Sandy! We're like, trying to like, get that cell phone, like, like.." Kikyo stopped short, at a loss for words. Yura perked up as her eyes glittered. Her hands were clasped, as she looked onward to her bestest best of all best friends. Her conceitedness higher then the Tower of Babble would ever be.

"Like, liiiike!" (Translation: Oh my giddy-aunts-underground! You _do_ understand my tastes!)

Kikyo stifled a gasp, holding her hand to her mouth. "Liiiiiike, like like like ah like?" (Translation: Are you kidding me?! I totally racked his shack!)

Kaguya immediately stopped playing with her extremely long dark plum hair, also deciding to engage in this top secret conversation that no sane individual may ever understand. No matter how far they were being pushed off of that roof. (H/N: &_&)

"LIKE—Like, like like-like! I like like, ha like, LIKE!" (Translation: Who hasn't?! The man is more freely wandering this freaky earth then women on rampage at the JC Penny's Door-Buster Sales and pre-marked clearances!!)

Kikyo and Yura _GASPED_! Then faster then Superman could lay Louis Lain, they were all betrothed in one of those ph33rful group hugs that you see on kiddie programs like, Barney... Lamb Chop... Carson Daily... The list goes on. It was sick. It was mind damaging. Maze was yearning to be the fourth contestant. It was all wrong! Oh how wrong!

Hojo frowned out of the blue. "That's MR.SANDY to _YOU_!...strumpet..." The crabby sandy-haired boy nudged himself mutely in the arm signifying that he was going to tell himself something the other girls can't hear. 

"As the Old Proverb says," Hojo said, looking both ways for no sign of acknowledgment from the three hussies. "'Sluts are good enough to make a Slovene's porridge.'"  

Sesshoumaru sat in a far corner covering his pointed ears with his hands.  He rocked himself back and forth repeatedly trying to convince his inner beings that Kikyo nor Hojo were real, and that he was the real God. God had no beard. How the hell someone knew what God looked like and lived to tell about it, was beyond Sesshoumaru's reason. I mean, Jesus could be a carrot top with a pasty tan for all anyone knows.

But Naraku had other problems. Not only were people from neighboring cells constantly sniffing his hair and repetitively asking him what brand of shampoo he uses, but also he was getting hungry. Insensible of the sadist police women that kept asking around for the real Onigumo to please stand up.

Then someone just had to make up that joke with Eminem and making a big deal out of it. Fortunately, the smart ass got 500$ and a dime added onto his bail fee. 

Just when you need the dime, it's never there, but whenever else you don't need the dime, you always fucking find it. Judge Hachi knows _all_.

"1,683,306,999,001... 1,683,306,999,002... 1,683,306,999,003..." Naraku recited in compelled monotone, as he counted the stars in the deep navy sky. "1,683,306,999,004...OW!" A tug of one of his long ebony locks was pulled by Chocolate, who was still pissed, but with a more firm tone to her face. 

She squinted, picking up the phone she talked to the patient girl on the other line, "Alright, I think this is him. It matches your description: Blue Eye Shadow, long black hair, Self-denial, and—what was that?" Officer Chocolate listened intently. 

Momentarily, she gained an outlandish exterior that clearly said 'Help! I'm talking to the devil's children!' But she made sure to keep it clear from view.  "A _WHAT_?..Okay, miss, are you on—No! I was going to ask if YOU were on Mary Jane!... *sigh* Fine, jezuz! I'll check!..."

Chocolate put the phone done to her side, and squatted down on the balls of her feet. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously as the man constantly was rubbing the scalp where she tugged his hair at. She tilted her police cap to cover one side of her eye, leaving the other exposed in full outlook.

Naraku impulsively twisted around to see who _dare_ pull his hair like that and give 'em a piece of his mind. Noticing the magenta-haired lady who arrested him in the first place was the one who did it, made him more roiled in resentment. 

Naraku's brows stitched together in a tart method. "What is it,_ trollop_?" His voice as low as the Florida Dolphins kick-off score, as speaking fluidly and emotionlessly like it ran in his blood... And in this case it did. No one likes cops—this is no exception to his rule. DON'T. LIKE. COPS.

The magenta-haired woman tapered her eyelids deeply. It appeared as if she were having a mental battle with herself whether or not to hammer this sap's face in, or to ignore him. Naraku almost looked amused as more emotions flashed on her features then Poke'mon do on the ending OAV count down. 

"Turn around." She spoke hastily. 

The blue-eye shadowed boy blinked vacantly. "What?"

"Turn around." Chocolate repeated in the equivalent tone. "The girl on the line says that to identify who you really are, I need proof," And she just _knew _what he was going to ask next.

"What _proof_?" Naraku growled from behind clenched teeth.

There it went.

The bureaucrat lady snapped. "DO AS I SAY!" And in no time Naraku was turned generally, as the pissed lady and her short temper silenced the chambers all around.

She calmed considerably. Violence _does_ get your way in all conversations. "Good, now..uh..." How was she going to word this without making it seem like she was going to molest him...? Best check with the caller. The lady dressed in stretchy black jeans and matching tube top rose the phone to her cheek, and whispered in low tones with the individual.

**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |   **_In InuYasha's Cell... _**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **__

Kagome leaned to the far side of the bar to listen in on the conversation that Chocolate was having with the mystery caller. She heard snickering to her left, and saw InuYasha bumbling with laughter.

Immediately, Kagome rushed to his side. "You know what they are saying, don't you?!" She whispered eagerly, like a kid in a gun parlor. InuYasha gazed down at Kagome's keen attitude to be nosy. But he shouldn't be the one complaining since he's the one laughing about it anyways. 

Dog-boy grinned cockily. "Maybe I do.." He said, folding his arms across his chest, and closing his eyes in relaxation. "Then again, maybe I d—" Kagome poked him in the fuzzy ear, making it twitch insistently. 

"Don't give me that 'maybe I do, then again maybe I don't' crap, Yash!" Her eyes sparkled wildly, leaning forward she put her soft ear next to his, wanting the ability to hear what he does. InuYasha blushed a chaste cherry shade, allowing Kagome to be so close to him. Instinctively, he enveloped a shielding arm around her waist. 

"Tell 'meh, _please_!" She tugged on his shirt. "Please Yash, _pleeeease_?" Her stare warmly softened when his eyes met her's. His yielding ocher eyes made her want to stop and look twice. InuYasha coughed nervously after a few moments, secretively posing like a sexy beast under her gaze. (H/N: ^______^)   

Kagome giggled, making InuYasha cave into her sweet torment. "Okay, okay.." Kagome cheered at low volume, turning her head so InuYasha could whisper into her ear. 

His hot breath swarmed her senses, making her almost forget what he was talking about, not to mention making her cheeks redden and her mind swarm with thoughts. The silver-haired teen smiled smugly on the inside as he whispered into her ear personally. His arms still holding her to him blissfully, loving the fact that she let him do so.

"First of all.. The person on the other line is—"

**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **_Back to Naraku's Cell! _**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **

"Erm..." Chocolate lowered the phone. She curved her attention to the ebony-haired man who glared impatiently at the stone wall in front of him. 

"Well," Naraku said with irritation, still not facing her but staying turned around as she asked. Good thing, or he wouldn't even recognize that light yet rosy tint to her visage. "What are you _waiting _for? What do you want me to _do_?" 

"Um, liftupyoushirtalittle." Chocolate mumbled rapidly, hoping he didn't interpret what the hell she just said. 

Naraku looked over his shoulder, giving the officer a side-ways glance. "...I don't know _what _planet you fallen from, but this is Earth. Leave some common sense when you donate words, women, what do you think created chaos?"

In next to no time, Officer Chocolate rapidly gripped the collar of his gray 'SPIDER8MAN' shirt through the bars making him gag without delay. She grimaced, bearing her pearly whites. 

"Listen here, you fribble portion of besotted diminutive dandruff. I can wring your scrawny neck in an instant," She slammed his torso and head into the bars with her rage, making him bleed instantaneously from collision. "so don't even kid around with me, _Onigumo_. This ain't kill time." She let go of the leering boy's shirt, and offering the phone through the bars with her other hand. 

"You have a call." Chocolate spat when he took the cell from her with an attitude to match his 'pretty' face.

Naraku peeked down at the phone in his hands, drops of his blood dripped onto the phone. The glowing blue screen read his home phone number from within the dark around him. He made a high-and-mighty wave gesture thing to Chocolate, giving her admission to leave. She stood up, her joints cracking from crouching too long. 

She bent forward to his abused face, "You got 5 minutes, Onigumo." And with that, she stalked out of the penitentiary's dorm, keeping guard from outside the heavy metal door she barged in from.

Leisurely, Naraku elevated the phone's receiver to his ear and listened as the background of silence overwhelmed his hearing. A soft, even breathing waited patiently over the line. "Hello?" He could almost _hear_ the being shake with tad surprise as the abrupt voice hung in the hush. 

"Jesus Christ, Naraku.." The smooth yet smidgen bumpy accent of the being spoke. Naraku leaned back relaxed that it wasn't his father, and visibly was relieved. "Took you long enough to get the phone. It was a bitch to find this private number, if that bizarre lady comes back, tell her it was a prank call."

Naraku lifted a brow delicately in question, "Oh? Tell me, Kanna. How did you discover where I was?" Kanna sneered on the other line, precisely rubbing her right temple from an on-coming headache. 

"Lets just say... My back hurts."  

**| : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : | : [ . ' . ' . ] : |  **

**(**_Now everyone go back, refer to chapter 3, paragraph 11, and line two. Get it now? No? Then you'll just have to wait for an explanation. Later chappies!_**)**__

**Crossover Characters Used In This Interval**: 

15 girls in short uniforms (Celestial Slut, Mars, as only two mentioned): _Salior Moon_

Maze (Male Maze, VERY LECHEROUS.) Maze (The female Maze was not mentioned, but will next chapter.): _Maze_

Miyu and Grub: _Vampire Princess Miyu_

Dorothy Wayne Right: _The Big O_

Chocolate: _Sorcerer Hunters _

**What Is Their Purpose In Cornflakes Jail?**

Sailor Scouts: _3 counts on assaulting Nursing Homes with their 'healing powers' repeatedly, shop lifting the 99cent store for perfume and nail varnish, and breathing the homeless people's oxygen._

Maze: _Rape_

Miyu & Grub: _Each committing double-homicide and purging blood from illegal aliens.   _

Dorothy Wayne Wright: _Disturbing the peace with piano playing at early hours of the morning constantly, and Grand Theft Auto_

Chocolate: _Job with Benefits. Oh yeah, and whips._

So this chapter wasn't very big...

I will do reviews in the next chapter for the last chapter some people reviewed. I'll answer to your review in the next chapter along with (if you even will...) your evaluation of this chapter. Why? I am lazy. But no fear, I will comment next time.

InuYasha's revenge will be put up next time as well if I raise, in any case, another 11 reviews. ^_^ Then I will give the readers what they want.. Except the lemon. Maybe citrus and innuendo, but I'm saving my lemon ideas for a rainy day. Besides, I have blue-lemons to worry about. 

^_____^ FUN!

**_Much _**appreciation goes to...

**_loozer-09_**, **_ReinaQueen_**, **_Nini4_** (_kksite10@yahoo.com_) (_anonymous_), **_Ashley_**, **_eX Driver Liz_**, **_SesshoumaruFanCall911_**, **_Maiden of the Moon_**, **_tiggermoogle _**

For reviewing! You probably want to eat me alive for not responding, but you're overwhelming in support! Dunno' where I'd be without you all!

*everyone takes a big inhale of breath* 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~!!!*quick inhale of breath*!!!!!!!

The wench is gagging milk on my bed for no reason, and my Enter The Matrix game that I blew 20$ on isn't working, and my Post Nasal Drip is fucking up my throat, screwing me out of Halloween (as if I had anything _better_ to do anyways..) my week end was pretty crazy. 

**_In Other News!_** (You can leave me reviews now then leave if you wish. I'm just going to ramble a bit...):

They have **_TWO NEW_** Sims Games!! _WOO HOOOOO_! Sims Makin' Magic and Sim's Bustin Out (PS2—X Box—GC—GBA ONLY. Totally sucks.)! 

For Expansion Pack Lova's:

(Sims **Makin' Magic** Description)

. 

  
Beware! Your Sims can now harness the supernatural, casting spells with playful or mischievous intentions. With a new magical, carnival-themed location, over 175 new items, and a host of quirky new characters, Makin' Magic is the largest Sims Expansion Pack ever. New game play includes making, gathering, and questing for ingredients to brew magic spell recipes. Get help around the house from magical minions, turn pesky neighbors into toads, or make that hard-to-get Sim fall in love with you. But watch out, spells can backfire if you're not careful. Either way, the neighborhood will never be the same.

I can't wait! ^_^ I brake for Sims.

I can _so _kill Kikyo with Magic now...! *gasps slightly with her eyes wide* 

S'cuse me!

*runs into her closet in a blur and screams at the top of her lungs in merriment*

**- - -**

I took the High school Test thing for the Sheridan Christian School. You have to pay 35$ to take the damn test, and they leave you in a freezer (or what they called the 'revision room') to do math problems, and then die. No wait, scratch that. They get you to fill out a form of personal info (weight, height, criminal record, etc.) then make you do math problems, then you die. 

In some questions they even asked things like:  

_"Do you prefer being alone or with large herds of people?" _

**What I would have said**: You mean with all the other cows?

**What I really said**: I prefer being alone, thanks. 

_"Do you consider yourself a Christian? Why?"_

**What I** **would have said**: I come from the depths of Hell in hopes to wreck havoc among you silly little bite size-morsels that formally title yourselves 'humans'.  My master assigns me to destroy all matters of life starting from this school. Why? Your wallpaper resembles the color of something that came out of my ass this morning. Religion is _not_ my bag, baby.

**What I really said**: Yes, I believe in God the Father, Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth. He creates the Bible and in the Word, I follow his path into self-righteousness. He is my everything; my true way of life. Without Him and His Holy Word, I would be drowned in my sins. Lost forever in a void of nothingness or in a place the pinnacle of misery. Even though He forgives me my debts, I know I do not deserve Heaven. For this, I am eternally grateful that He has given me this chance.  

Then there was, _"What are your favorite hobbies? Why?"_

**What I would have said: **What? Are you going to hold it against me?

**What I said: **The Arts! Martial Arts, Drawing JapAnime, etc. etc. Music etc. etc. guns etc. etc...

It was weird. 

I felt unwelcome.

Not only that... But when I walked into the corridors and into the main hall, I felt like Alice in Wonderland. The doors were so small that the knobs looked like if they were lowered anymore, they'd touch the floor. I mean, c'mon! You might as well have a damn dog flap for walking through. Then you'd say dumb things like: _"Don't trip on your way out!" "Get out of my class doggie-style!" _

O_o

o_O

^_^

Well.. I hope I passed... 

Really! I wish I did..

. . .

Math sucks.

Good night! ^_^

**_Review for meh!_**

Love from La La Land,

**Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup**


	11. Bonehilda Darthbuckle: Discretion Killer

**  . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .  **

  **Disclaimer: **

  This next sentence is true.

   I own InuYasha.

  The first sentence is false.

** . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .  **ßI like these things****

   [ **What is my damn problem? Or shall I say, her damn problem?** ] 

    I sit at my computer one cold night not too long ago, reading the second Harry Potter book under the light of my monitor, when suddenly the wench comes in. Wordlessly, she walks over to where I am sitting; reading, and starts banging her fits on my keyboard with no palpable motive. After a minute of this, I look up and ask her if there was a problem. She does not answer me, but just stops banging on the keyboard and wickedly eyes my laser mouse. Keeping in mind that almost every single person on my mother's side is a pacifist, I decide to approach the situation at a calm manner. I ask her why the hell she is interrupting my reading just to be a violent boar—which may I tell you now, is not the thing to say to a woman in her mid-forties and currently living through menopause, she tells me that it is nothing, and that she was just overreacting. Then she left the room with a fatal aura that can choke a raven in mid-flight as it passes through a toxic waste environment. I briefly think over the possibilities that maybe my mother is solely crazy and should be hung at the cross, or that she just benefits from taunting me while I am reading one of the most invigorating books to come since _"The Tell-Tale Heart"_. Ever since that night, my keyboard has been neurotically jammed with Oreo crumbs and dented keys while my laser mouse has mysteriously lost its laser yet still works on a miraculous limb of chance. My glasses have also seemed to have vanished, along with the cinnamon flavored dental floss and my fifteen bucks. This is definitely a minus for her Christmas gift, which was so cheap that it could buy itself. Don't know why I'm bothering anyone with this since I just wanted to tell you about the keyboard quandary.   

  Everything else is located at my blog. Lately, it's been filled with brewing Hell.

  Well…

  The movie Gremlins is playing behind right me on Dolby-Freaking-Digital, and I find the sudden urge to go to the Salvation Army and hitch my fifth Furby, not to mention replace the batteries in my old ones. Who does not want an animal that is a biohazard within itself? Reba gata! 

  Now, on to the warnings!

 ** . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .  **

**  _KIKYO, YURA, AND KAGUYA BELTING! _**

   Like you didn't see this one coming. Is there going to be different character bashings in the future? You bet'cha mama's ass there will be!

  **_FLUFF n' STUFF_**

  Er, maybe? We'll see. Well actually, you'll be the one who is seeing while I'm being yelled at for squinting without my glasses. 

  **_KEEP IN MIND: _**

  That when Kikyo and her cronies say "like" more then once in a sentence, you're probably seeking brain damage. Keep in mind that this is not common (for us sociopath natives, nothing is fucking common.) For it is their language of, '_Cheerocrisotopolitous_' (**Pronounced**: "Cheer-oh-chris-oh-top-oh-light-us"). Please, if you are confused, refer to the edited chapter three. Thank j00.

  One more thing that might ease your minds a little. InuYasha is in his hanyou structure and will remain that way in this story. No, he will **_not _**turn human by full moon. In fact, let's just say that everyone who is demon or hanyou or human in my story will remain the way they are in the series. Unless I change their looks around a bit (i.e. by hair dye, an accident, a dare, etc.) then just picture them the way they are. I'm not explaining anything about demons; I'm not using the well other than pushing someone down for shits n' giggles, I'm not ever mentioning demons unless they are the ones from hell or are teachers, and I'm not twisting the plot around that involves humans and demons living in chaos or harmony, nor will Kikyo interweave the plot with her smuttiness in ugliness and sluttiness to get InuYasha back. She is never touching InuYasha again. 

   I hoped that alleviated your spirits.     

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . **

**   Dirty** **Sneakers**

_   Chapter 11: Bonehilda Darthbuckle: Discretion Killer_

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . **

   Several hours after Naraku had finished his call; he was forced to pay the minutes on Chocolate's Nokia. A secret plot was devised, and all was asleep… For the time being. 

   It was sunset. Sparkle, sparkle the sun is setting. Sunrise, sunset… Sunrise, sunset. The pink and orange crème clouds swarmed over the face of the sun, shining its enthralling beauty over Ko-nfure-kusu Juvenile Penitentiary. Not the brightest vista ever witnessed, but a peaceful panorama at that.

   Yes, all was peaceful.      

   "WAKE UP YOU EFFIN SHINANAGINS! IT'S TIME FOR THE COURTS!" Grumbles and vulgar curses were roaring as nearly everyone in the penal complex woke up to a thunderous Kiyone. Serious thing about her was, that she doesn't remember anything before coffee. Nothing before coffee and a good 20-minute bitching to superior authorities. Then again, almost all officers work that way.

   Kouga was the first to complain about the ungodly hour of awakening. "Oh man, what the hell was that I slept on? I feel like I just napped on kitten claws." He grunted when suddenly he was pushed from where he was assembled. A dissatisfied Ayame emerging from where he had slept, hazing with anger. She wore an expression that could slay Santa with one look. 

   "Hey, _bud_." Ayame twisted the word bud just for kicks like they do in those cowboy vs. modern hero movies. "How about next time you avoid sleeping on my nails, and we'll forget this ever occurred!" 

   Shippo and Crayon were already starting to rouse from slumber seizing their heads in agony from the sudden wash of ringing in their ears that lasted only instantly. 

   Kiyone grumbled and flicked a loose strand of hair out of her face. She went on with her job, unlocking the cells and letting free the cons to take visit to the courts while breakfast was being prepared in the penal canteen. Much unlike normal jails, no one dared touch her for fear of losing an arm or leg.

   - _Moment's Music_ **Trapt**: Headstrong -                           

   Everyone backed up into a straight line-up as they were released from their imprisonment. Kiyone sneered self-satisfied at her good work. Now onto the psychotic ward…

   As the navy haired girl left, a certain smirking sadist entered the area. Chocolate was clad in a rose red tank top and red suspenders keeping her baggy black jeans over the brink of her bellybutton, and black buckle boots that jangled as she walked. Then of course upon her head, her black officer hat was tilted over her wavy blood berry hair. 

   Chocolate raised a single hand and made a gesture to the crowd, her derided place firmly on her face. InuYasha's cell was most recent to be opened as the rest of the high school group stood by them. They were murmuring as the rest of the poky were pushing each other out of the way to get to these 'courts'. 

   Sango frowned; she marched up to officer Chocolate and tapped her on her bare shoulder with her cold hand. Chocolate winced as the coldness touched her shoulder and whipped around to face a confused Sango. 

   "What is it, delinquent?" The officer asked crossly as she eyed the chestnut-haired girl circumspectly. 

   Sango, being a bit confused about her attitude and not liking it one bit, was also totally oblivious to the whip the strict officer was stroking with one hand. "Just one question, what are the courts?" As soon as the words left her mouth officer Chocolate pushed her back into the crowd. People scoffed and laughed at Sango's stupidity. She had to be held back by Kagome and Ginkotsu in order to save Sango from ripping each and every person's head off within a 20-foot radius. 

   "The Courts," Chocolate said, taking in a deep breath and closing her eyes as if reminiscing. Her complexion went rigid but loosened up. "Is where you will train in order to stride against the outside world. You _prefects_ know_ nothing_, do you?"  

    Chocolate was responded by an ominous middle finger sticking up heads above the crowd.  

    "You will be escorted to the courts by none other than Momig and Botan (H/N: They are explained at the end). There, you will receive training to turn your weak bodies into pure machines of steel." She lectured to the booing crowd. Chocolate raised her whip threateningly and 3villy eyed everyone. They shut up.

    Without another word, the officer turned around and led everyone down the solemn cement halls and out to the courts. (H/N: From what I know, my father's side of the family always calls the jail's outside training area, "the courts" thus the name given. If you have something to say about this, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.)

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **_At The Outside Courts_ **. o 0 O § O 0 o .**

   The penal complex folk were attired in their habitual garments as they all were slung around outside. One very peevish man with shades and steroid-induced muscles was stationed at the only exit, which was currently locked, chained and even bandaged with security measurements. 

    It had to nearly be 4 in the morning. The sky was dashed with black, anomalous grays, with a hint of dreary tangerine on the very far side of the courts. The fences surrounding them reached a height of 50-feet rimmed with barbwire that would even make Gumby scream. The courts were cemented down with rough stones and black tar, many feet trampling over it as low talking ensued the grounds.  

    Everyone crowded around the center of the courts. A cement-made bench was tightly bolted to the ground, no one knew why though. Talking seemed to stop as two very young looking girls came into view from the gates.

    One girl was thin and pale. The other was a bit husky and muscular, but not by too much. They both wore identical good-natured beams and dressed in the same outfits. The thin girl had short brown hair cut at a curve and presented a small red bow. It was yet very attractive to match her deep teal eyes. The lass wore a white jump suit uniform with a scarlet vest and many beaded bracelets. Around her neck hung an oddly beaded necklace that hung a golden talon that resembled the head of a bolt. Her sparing shoes were rugged with dust and dirt yet was similar to black as it once was. 

    The other girl, eyes unblemished in lighter brown, had flowing black hair that was worn down to her waistline and was as straight as a calm river. She was dressed just as the other girl was, yet with a light blue vest and perfectly polished black dojo-friendly shoes. The necklace that hung on her neck was just like to the other girl's as well, yet was shaped more like a deranged fruit. One long wooden stick was held in her clutches, her body full straightened as she glared stonily at some people she might have known before.

    "All right," Announced the thin and pasty girl as she stepped onto the bench to get a clear view of everyone. Her attention sprung around and stopped as she noticed several new beings among the crowd she had not known before.

    InuYasha snorted as he felt blaring gazes drilling into his head. He leaned over and tapped Kagome on the shoulder, whom was currently chatting up a secret whispering storm with Sango and Miroku as some others did the same. Kagome shrugged her attention away from her two friends to see InuYasha's disgruntled appearance. 

    "What's wrong?" Kagome whispered to InuYasha. The silver haired boy shook his head and frowned.

     "Don't you feel as if you're being watched? You know… by some of the people here?"

     Kagome immediately staggered back. "You're not talking about Maze are you? Where is he? Is he near?" Her eyes darted around searching frantically for the perverse grinning man. She did not find that, but yet a strange ebony-haired girl with short hair and a chipper attitude. The girl was smiling bubbly with no care in the world as Kagome stared on with a twitching yet crooked smile.

     InuYasha tugged on Kagome's orange Gizmo tee shirt and pulled her back safely by his side. 

     "No, now that you mentioned it, it's odd that that female hoarding male-clubber just disappeared… Yet. Don't you get like you're being watched over with some harsh stare?" He inquired. Looking down at Kagome, he noticed one of her eyebrows were raised in a manner that similarly reminded him of The Rock. 

     "If you're talking about stares, InuYasha," Kagome said clear as day. The thumb of her hand shot out to the direction of two certain drill-coaches. "Then it's probably those." 

     InuYasha followed her thumb's direction slowly until he stopped craning his cranium and glared back down at the floor mumbling something like, "You know what, I'm just not going to attempt as if I care anymore." 

     Sango jabbed InuYasha in the ribs and giggled. Kagome mimicked her movements, and chased Sango around InuYasha as if he was an inanimate object. The teen sighed and rubbed his temples with the two girls ran around him expressing amusement as they were unmindful of the many seer attentions being thrown their way. 

    Miroku had soon tried to join in then was slapped as Sango dubbed him 'it'. But before Miroku could run off to chase the two girls, InuYasha gripped the back of his obscene Foamy (H/N: His superior squirrelnessness blinds me!) shirt, nearly choking him, and warped into a heated argument about 'changing acts'. Fundamentally, Miroku's. 

    The pasty thin girl jumped off the concrete bench and lolled ghastly over to where the chasing was occurring.   

    She coughed and rudely shucked the wrist of Sango and Kagome before they could run any further past into the Courts. They squealed like little children being taken in to due time out in a corner, as the other girl took and threw them onto the ground with force.

    This didn't get past InuYasha's attention. He was about to get up and teach the child-like girl a lesson but was put to an immediate stop when the thin girl sunk her sharp nails into his wrist as he was about to strike for her pressure point. InuYasha's disbelief rose and his pride lowered. 

   "What are you?!" InuYasha shouted.

   "I am Momig, son." Momig, the thin girl said crossly, her vest swishing around her as she stalked back to her bench where her partner stood, glaring stonily yet very sarcastically at Momig. When neither of them was looking, Sesshoumaru stalked over behind InuYasha placing a clawed hand on his shoulder inelegantly. 

   "As some of you may not know, we are the heirs of the Courts here." Momig announced into the dusk and clear dark atmosphere. People were now situating themselves against the fences or on nearby benches, remembering to stay close together. InuYasha ushered Kagome and the rest of his friends against the fences as they whined, complained or slept once they sat themselves down.

   "We as in, Botan and I." The girl, Botan, stepped forward and took a short bow before resuming to her previous spot. 

   "Now that we have a few new faces around here," Momig continued. "I might as well set the record straight and lay down the rules. Rule one; No transvestites allowed on the Courts. We have had a lot of major… confusion in the past, and since we do not want a repeat of last year's events, we ask you now to leave. So all remaining Queens please leave now, or you will be stipulated to pay a weekly visit to Bonehilda Darthbuckle for the next year of confinement." 

    Many sudden shrieks of anguish flashed before many people's faces. Sooner than anyone knew it, a grotesque looking girl (or what was thought to be one) and a light brown-haired lass shot up from a bench and ran out from the Court gates into Chocolate's waiting custody. A second later, a short golden-haired girl/boy stood up from next to a aquamarine haired girl and ran to Chocolate's waiting whip too. 

    Everyone turned his or her attention back to Momig, who was appearing quite amused.

    One hand rose along the fence. That hand belonged to Kagome. Yet, again, baffled by the information that was shoved so hurriedly down her gullet. 

    "Uhh… Momig, Ma'am, pumpkin, yes, um," Kagome said, not wanting to offend the lady for fear of having her head cut off, or a toe or something.

    Momig rose a waxed brow, "What is it, Child-of-the-bars?"

    InuYasha growled lightly at the petty insult thrown to his bestest friend (H/N: 'sides Roku) but Kagome ignored them both. "Who is Bonehilda Decksucker?" 

    "Err.." This wasn't new. A lot of chortles and terrified puffs rang the clearing like a cracked ivory bell. "That's DARTHBUCKLE. Our institutional patients here at Cornflakes prison are not liked in the least. Especially Bonehilda." The vicinity thunder bolted with silence.

    Kagome stilled wasn't satisfied. She also had noticed that Momig looked like she was mutely egging her not to solicit any more questions. Hook, line, sinker baby.   

   "What the hell is wrong with her?" 

   Momig heaved a greatly irritated sigh. Before she could open her mouth, Botan took a step forward.

   "I'll handle it this time, Momig, just sit." Botan spoke sternly. The shorthaired girl threw a small-condensed fit that sounded like, "Oh Jesus, the tension is choking me. Make some magic, Boat-chan."

    (H/N: The following contains disturbing cerebral scenes. As a bystander of PCP custom usage, I kindly urge everyone to sit back or cleave to something solid. It's not going to be a daydream.) 

    Botan glared roguishly at Momig, standing up in posture and ready to speak. All chattering had faintly stopped when she spoke.

   "It all started when…"

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o . _Flashback_**_: Cornflakes Penitentiary [Mental Ward] - 4 years earlier_** . o 0 O § O 0 o .**

    All around, every day at the penitentiary, terrible weather ensued. Never was a day in passing bright, hopeful and worry-free. The Mental Ward was on no account a great place to be that not even the nurses and daily-visiting doctors liked to check up on them. The Ward was located underground in the deep basement of the penitentiary so the patients that were put there for life had no chance to escape before someone caught sight of them.  

    So many of the people there were ill, they still are as a matter of fact. The works of art, murals, frescos, and friezes were all symbolizing near death that hung on nail-scratched ebony papered bulwarks.  People barely loomed the halls, and if they did, they had a wish to be mentally scarred or perhaps just visiting a past kith and kin. 

    Silver plated one-way windows lined the murky halls. A single, neat-styled clipboard near each and every one of them. And yet there was no noise allowed to disturb neighboring compartments, one did, and it drove everyone nearly crazy. 

    In this window, a young girl was huddled deep into a lighted corner where her still body could be seen. 

   **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **

"Enough with the hysterics. Give us the story!"

   "I'm getting there for Christ sakes! Anywho…"  

    **. o 0 O § O 0 o .**

She had no life. No friends. No kin. She was dead to her own brain and no one ever cared.

    Until one man came that day. He always visited her while other patients were so desirous that they lashed at their windows at times to get some attention. But he always visited her, and her alone, which cheered her up to it's fullest even though she could not see him—she could hear him.

    No one knew his name, but only she. No one knew where he came from. We all liked to see him as a ghost. Kind and young lad who had not a care in the world but to visit this abandoned lady every day at the same time of 5 o'clock. The man even asked a passing guard a couple of times for request to see the lady in person, but was always replied with some sort of 'no'.  

   Then, nearly 13 months later, the man left as mysteriously as he came. The girl had no longer felt his presence and had gotten delusional more and more; every day that he did not come. 

   Less then a week later, she had snapped.

   Her hands had become more and more prone to sharp objects that were handed to her, progressively did she desire for something to be in tact with. Until the day the drugs had kicked in.

   The young woman had been put into Cornflakes Mental Ward for over dosage of PCP, Angel Dust. She was 2 years clean pending the day that her brain was turned completely into crackers. The following week that was the worse on her brain, and everything went anything but upwards. A bad thing starts to divulge. 

   Arachnophobia, she had. She had ripped her own tongue out, claiming that it was a tarantula trying to waddle down her throat. A passing guard had seen the girl heaped over into a corner, and saw the tongue about 13 feet away from her own body. An operation was dated quickly, and had sewn the tongue back into her mouth after finding it still useful in every way. 

  And when everyone thought it was bad enough, it just kept on going downwards.

  After the tongue incident, she had pounded her hands onto the floor daily. The doctors didn't know the cause, because they thought that she was just crazy and needed no one to always lurk around her cubicle. The doctor was taken back when daily he came back, noticing that her hands were pounding harder onto the floor.

   The doctor had nearly screamed bloody murder when her own hands started to bleed profusely and her raw throat screamed "Ants! Everywhere! Army!" Prediction came, as many facility workers knew that she had been hallucinating army ants eating at her right hand alone. 

   Soon enough, and yet oddly enough, every bone only in her right hand was broken. But the left one was shockingly contorted.

   The man had never came back. Sunlight hour after sunlight hour the girl got madder to a greater extent. The doctor came back, and to his horror, observing the window crashed open and the door pelted and barely hanging on its hinges and in blood, the door read:

   "And thee know where you are…Thee will never be lonely for a second time…" 

   The doctor had not come out of the basement from then forth. Goshinki had stopped over a brave man, once a year from then on he went down, and came back up safely. But with disturbing news, that each single window was broken down, every clipboard was clawed into bits dripping saliva, and that glass and so much blood were trailing in every direction with the stench of decaying bodies. 

   Yet, there was something else going on down there. Goshinki sometimes heard noises periodically in the Mental Ward. Muffled cries and strange pounding clamors echoing as if fists to concrete. The strange thing about that noise was that the only concrete around the Ward was the third layer of the prison fortifications. How exactly the two layers, one of hollow exterior and the second of brick, were gotten passed no one, not even Goshinki knew. After the concrete rampart is only uranium metal then the outside rock confines.

   Notes were taken mentally that many, or maybe even all of the patients were pronounced dead.

   All except for Bonehilda. Bonehilda Darthbuckle was the one figured to kill them all. And if she is the only one to survive each year without fail, then she is the one and only one to run the Mental Ward. Goshinki was ordered to stop visiting the Ward for fear of death and loss of much bravery that Cornflakes prison knew they needed. So he complied.

   Since that year of turmoil, not one soul dared to visit her ever again. Not even once in the past four years did they come back.

   **. o 0 O § O 0 o . _Flashback Concluded_ . o 0 O § O 0 o . **

     Botan took a step back. Many of the people in The Courts were scared shitless that Momig even had a look of sorrow washing her peachy features. 

     Momig stood up as her comrade sat to take a break. Kouga shook his head in dishonorable disbelief.

    "What a load of shit!"

    Instantly a fed-up Botan was choking him lifeless. No one dare save him because they totally were stunned by the story, and felt extraordinarily different then his little out burst.

    Momig silenced Botan with many tries. After a bit, she was pried away from Kouga who was currently not awake, but almost dead to the world. Momig clapped Botan on the back with a smile and turned to the delinquents as if that story and Kouga never happened.  

    "Now onto rule two." Momig stated loudly with her hands behind her back. Striding down the concrete as the sun slowly rose over The Courts. "No gum."

    "Why?" A dissembled voice rang in the clearing. Most likely Earthboy. 

     Momig's idiom appeared a bit tart. "Because. If you don't have enough for everyone else, then it's just not fair." She shrugged ostentatiously, gathering again her composure. 

     "Rule three, no attempts to break out of The Courts unless supervised by Goshinki," Momig pointed to the bulky man at the gates. He immediately rose from his slumped position looking completely FULL of himself. "Chocolate," She revolved her direction and was now pointing at a pissed Chocolate while she clung rather tightly to Konatsu's shirt collar. "Or Botan and I. Breaking this rule would result a month's worth of visits to Bonehilda Darthbuckle." (H/N: They are saying this to scare everyone shitless. It's not like they would actually do that…would they…? Hm.)

    Just the very name sent shivers down everyone's spines. Crayon gave off a spit-flurry of uncommon insults and rattled the fence violently, as everyone else just appeared moderately befuddled. 

    Momig took a moment to ponder before speaking again. "And rule number..er..What number am I on, again?"

    Botan rolled her eyes and coughed, "Three."

   "Oh yeah, rule three. Within the Courts, we are gods. We ownz0r j00. You are our rampant porcupine-licking dejected lolli-shoving potato sack sonovabitches. You will do as we say, when we say it, as we say it."

    Renkotsu sighed quite sarcastically, remembering a certain turning point within his lifespan. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a sonovabitch, either."

    A few 'the hell?'s and some loud high-pitched whining echoed the dark and clammy courts as some people decided to rattle the fences as if in chains by their 'gods'.

    Jakotsu, on the other sexuality, was currently buggering over a man fatter than Fat Albert not giving a damn to notice that there was even trainers on the Courts. 

    The sluts, ah, they were just lounging around and mimicking Jakotsu's awesome flirt tactics. Hey, you only learn from the best.

    Botan sighed, spotting Jakotsu clinging to a non-moving fired circus folk. "I'm not even going to say what I was going to think."

    "If you were even thinking at all…" Naraku piped from his far corner of the Courts. Botan whipped her head around to the intruding voice. She strode past the quad area with her long vest railing behind her.

     "You've got something to say son, spit it out." 

    Naraku's left eye flinched as he heard InuYasha harshly told him to shut his mouth. But yet, Naraku did quite the opposite and hawked a very large lugi (H/N: Those really large spit wads) on Botan's sparing shoe. 

   "I'm not your _son_." 

   Botan didn't even move when she saw him do that, but she shook like the devil. But everyone could tell she was boiling with anger that even Momig looked a bit scared. A defiant yell was heard over the crisp silence when Botan raised a stiff hand that was nearly halfway to slapping Naraku's inert and determined form.  

   It was Chocolate who yelled. The gates were now opened as Guard Goshinki was stepping aside to let a small panting girl through the barbed entrance. And to say in the least, everyone who knew the girl almost tipped over in apparent shock.

   "Make one effort to touch one solitary hand on my brother and I will sue you and sell you to the highest bidder." 

   "That goes for my sister, too!"

   "What he said!"

   Each person who knew the voices jerked their heads up flabbergasted to the three people who just entered through with Goshinki by their side.

   It was Kanna. Not only her, but also a just as equally astounded Souta and Kohaku.

   Just as their eyes started to water over from staring so long, Kagome and Sango apprehensively stared back at each other with very amusing expressions that clearly said, "I-am-going-to-be-knee-deep-in-it-when-secondary-sources-find-out-that-I-am-here-by-these-grease-tounges-so-I-think-I-should-just-roll-over-and-die-now". Just then a second after, Souta and Kohaku broke down into a laughing fit that soon made them crying and cough at the SAME TIME. The SAME TIME. Kinda hurts.

   Kanna just glared dully at Naraku as if expecting it to happen before she graduated Elementary. They soon got into a fight, as many people starting hollering in too. 

   Kagome and Sango were hounding after their brothers (though they didn't care who's) and had to be physically restrained by InuYasha, Miroku, Sesshoumaru and Goshinki. Their brothers just continued to laugh behind the protection of Botan and Momig.  

   Finally, they were going to be free from this firestorm.

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **_Aftertaste_** . o 0 O § O 0 o .**

**    Crossover Characters Used In This Interval:**

    Momig & Botan: _InuYasha_

    Golden-haired girl/boy (Salior Uranus): _Sailor Moon_

    Kontasu (transvestite): _Ranma ½_

    Ebony-haired smiling lass (Female Maze): _Maze_

    Bonehilda Darthbuckle: _I actually made her up. The happenings were in true story, but are being covered for security reasons. Or it could be my lack of memory to tell you whom it is, but either way, you'll never know._

    **What Is Their Purpose In Cornflakes Jail?**

    Momig & Botan: _Found and hired by Cornflakes Headmaster. Headmaster unknown._

    Sailor Uranus: _3 counts in trial of pending homosexual marriage by force. The tendency to keep 'straight' by male is miraculously always switched into female in duration of marriage and visiting the 7-11 on Broadway._

    Konatsu: _Was arrested in Michigan for major rally with the rights to be a transvestite. He was arrested for not only disturbing the peace, but for carelessly holding the rally next to a children's day care center. Files of arrest were high and so were the Michigan police._

    Female Maze: _Murder of Princess Mill by a wisp of jealousy that Mill had liked her other side more. Hey, aren't we all._

   **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **_Review Responses…_** . o 0 O § O 0 o .**

   **_Loozer-09 _**:: I love 'meh Disclaimers lean, mean, and hard knockin'. Bwaha! So glad you loved 'mah story, and the Omake I shoved in there. It's true—it's true! Most Christian High schools ask for criminal records, yet it's completely understandable. You don't want a remake of that sniper school-shooting movie. Even though that guy shot half his school down, it probably was a pretty big mess ta' clean. And Christian schools just love sqeaky clean hallways. ^_^ I won't get mad at any auhtor's note you write; we all have our tough moments. 

   Oh yes, one other thing! Thank you so much for that online Thanksgiving greeting card! I loved it! I tried to send you one from BlueMountain, but the Mailer Daemon (I call it Demon, grrness) kept saying that there was no such address. Man, I had a real cute one too. -_-

   **_ReinaQueen_** :: Long chapter, I hope you enjoy the Omake too, oh-lover-of-my-story. 

   **_Nini4 _**:: I know how you undergo family insanity. Most people think it's just in the genes the way people act, but I guess we share something in common: we just gotta lose something sometime. Like our sanity. Hell even I loose my sanity when I read my stories. Sometimes I forget it's me who wrote them. That's just terrible. I got the Sims Makin' Magic game YAY! I killed Kikyo by a charm I made. I also turned her Muggle-ass into a toad. :D Now that is sheer brilliance. I love EA Games.

   **_Ashley_** (_Anonymous_) :: I confused you? Than ¼ of my job here is fulfilled.  

   **_eX Driver Liz_** :: Sesshoumaru with honey, eh? That might be a necessity for something.. Hm… But Chocolate, being an officer and all (I wonder how she did _that_) I try hard to make her sound more pain bearing then she is and I guess the Naraku-molesting thing was just a bonus. I don't know how the hell she did it either. That makes two of us! 

**_   SesshoumaruFanCall911_** :: Thank you for pointing out my grammatical mistakes. It flows in my genes, you know, the incompetence of not having a beta reader and turning down every request for people to be one. I guess it's just my habit of working alone. My independence wasn't free. People had to die for me. :D Thank the Union for Sons of Liberty and banish the System for everything else that happens. I don't even know why the hell I'm talking about this, where was I? 

   Mega Tokyo! The #1 Resource for l33t. I absolutely adore Mega Tokyo and everything bad that happens to Piro. My favorite character is Ping (That was very rude, Mr. Turtle!). The most reliable piece of PS2 equipment since the controller. Then it's Largo and Tohya Miho. I just can't get enough of it all (even spite the fact I have not read anywhere past Comic #383. I've just been so busy. ._.) 

   The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie was that good? I only saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was filmed in the 70's. That one was totally kick ass, and if the new re-made one is that good, then I'll go see it. W00t! 

   A lot of people around my school use the phrase "crunching". But if you watch the movie, "Never Been Kissed" one of those high school girls use that phrase here and there, too. Very stupid, yet common.  

   And yes, It takes a lot of restraint to not lash out at someone who hates you. But always remember: Pillage then burn. That's the key to success. ^_^

   **_Three-Legged Dog_** :: I have most disability to work with a bunch of people. Most are the same I.Q. as each other and it's sickening, the youth that they are. But shoving me in a room colder than ice is really pushing my buttons. S.A.T and FCAT advisors can just kiss my ass. They could at least have decency to shove me in a broom closet.  

   **_Kim_** (_Anonymous_) :: I hate the word 'like' as much as the next sausage jockey. But I guess it's all in reference with me. But if I ever hear someone use that word more then once in decent conversation, then I just might—well, what any normal person might do. Rip out their hair and turn homicidal. S'all in the brainwaves. 

  **_ DemonSorceress _**:: Some pairings will be freaky. But the most definite sane ones are going to be InuYasha/Kagome and Miroky/Sango. Everyone else might be paired, killed off, or travel to Saskatchewan to sell carpet insurance. Depends on the weather. 

   **_Maiden Of The Moon_** :: I read your story with Kagome going into deep dark Mikoism at a freak show. That story is so thrilling so I hope you continue with that. It's kinda like mine would have turned out; 'really strange and extraordinary'. Luckily I made myself a new summary for it, and a decent plot. Depression is my motivation, as the sloth says. Chapter 9 review! *two thumbs up* I liked your review better then my own Omake. Awesome.

   **_Eris Goddess Of Chaos_** (_Anonymous_) :: Hopefully, you aren't fruity. Bwah! Since I don't know you and all. Thanks for liking my story.

   **_Tiggermoogle_** :: Finally, someone who thinks Chapter 9's Disclaimer was funny. Thank you so much for your commentary.

   **Review in the Holiday spirit? I know everyone wants "InuYasha's Revenge" and poof—here it shall be. Thank you everybody whom evaluated the last chapter. Thank you so much, that now I present the Omake you requested. Queue—take one!**

   **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **_OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE!_** . o 0 O § O 0 o .**

   ***HIRARI PRESENTS:** INUYASHA'S REVENGE*****

   [ Kinda citrusy. Single-digit kiddies please back away before I stick you in the eye with a hot poker I have so conveniently in my intestine-squishing hands. Oh, and, um, thank j00. ] 

   Kagome ducked under a tree's shades panting freely. She dropped her stuff along the way of running from InuYasha and decided to try and hide from him. She knew she couldn't, but what other choice had she come to? None, that's what. Her ears zapped conscious when she heard pattering footsteps and ruffles of clothing coming her way. Kagome tried hard to stop the anxious shuddering of her bones and wanted to wrench them quiet. InuYasha hears all.

   "Kagome…" Came a slick and mischievous voice from beyond her tree. She prayed mentally to herself almost pondering if she WAS mental or not. That's when she heard the footsteps stop, right near her tree.

   InuYasha had known that Kagome would just run off from him, and decided to walk at a pacing manner for none other then dramatic effect. The same goes for the sly "Kagome…"'s and "Where are you…?"'s which he knew would make her run faster. Hey, he was the male here, not some bit—whoops. That almost slipped his tongue again. It's what started this whole thing in the first place! That damn double-edged word. InuYasha lowered his head from the ruby color that was slowly formulating over his tanned cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. 

   He stopped rapidly when he heard fast and panting breaths from behind a dead cherry blossom tree (Unromantic? Bite me).  Smirking self-righteously, InuYasha slowly did a 180 in direction, walking slowly to the tree he knew Kagome was hiding behind.

   Kagome almost sunk to her knees when she heard the footfalls coming her way. Almost as if she wanted to run and hide again from his little 'I'm an arrogant asshole' path. Effin' InuYasha just _had_ to act like Leatherface and tread around everywhere like he was Buddha. Rotten little—Kagome swiftly let out a pretty thunderous screech when InuYasha's face was directly disproportional to her own.      

   InuYasha flinched as he heard her shriek and intuitively pressed his delightful little pallid ears to his head. He let go of the branch he was hanging inversely from. Annoyance crossed his face before a mischievous smile shoved it out of it's place. 

   InuYasha took a step forward to the shaking girl who had apparently seen his grin and snatched Kagome's waist into his muscular arms. Kagome sputtered out words like a lawn sprinkler as InuYasha flickered his ears and nuzzled her glowing cheeks.  

   "Kagome…" He purred questionably. The girl in his arms let out a quick 'What do you want from me?' but he ignored her for the time being. "What the hell was that little stunt you pulled back at the well?" InuYasha continued in the same tone of voice.

   Kagome fidgeted as his hands playfully batted softly at the hem of her shirt. "Er… Um… I w-was just—" 

   "Yeees..?" He drawled. 

   Kagome frowned and poked his arm that was tickling her exposed rib. "Hey! You're the one that called me a bitch! You explain _that_ now, huh!" InuYasha tugged her back into the protection of his perfectly carved chest when she tried to grip out. 

   "Well," he explained. "I was just being truthful."

   "Yeah, right. You, truthful?" Kagome 'hmpf'ed and twirled around in his embrace so that her back was to his chest. "When Shippou flies."

   InuYasha lowered his head in great endorsement of her motion, and nestled at her neck. He was overwhelmed with rapture as he heard weakly subdued moans escape Kagome's supple cherry lips.  

   "I can surely arrange that." He spoke devilishly into her ear. Kagome turned on the sputter works again at his reply.

   "You better not! If you so much as tou—w-what are you doing!?" 

   InuYasha trailed feather light kisses from her wrist (Like Maxwell does to Morticia on The Adams Family) to her shoulder then her neck and slowly up her jaw line. Her groans were light and her eyes were half closed (or were they half open?). A small devious smile took place on her lips as InuYasha continued trailing harder kisses along her cheek. 

   _'Two can play at this game!'_ Kagome thought mulishly, all non-Kagome like. Quickly, almost too fast for InuYasha to even catch up on, she turned around in his arms and clutched his face with her hands, kissing him resolutely on the lips.

   InuYasha, just expecting for her to fall flat out of words and succumb to his almightiness, did not expect this. Her teeth gently nipped at the corner of his bottom lip making InuYasha the one to bite back a groan of pleasure. Kagome's lips pressed affectionately against his own that he could taste her lips of milk and honey—his most favorite taste in the world. 

   Instinctively InuYasha tightened his grip around her waist pressing her body as close to his as it would get, and sketched Kagome's lips with his tongue, requesting admission. She accepted, and growled in delight as his tongue left no place in her mouth untouched, her tongue coyly dancing with his. 

   Soon and regretfully, they separated for breathe but keeping their lips close together to steal another kiss or two. Kagome hands were lightheartedly tweaking InuYasha's doggie ears. He emitted deep purrs that made Kagome chuckle. 

  "What are you laughing at?" InuYasha asked, failing to sound tough like he wanted to be and leaned into her touch. 

  "Never mind InuYasha," Kagome said, then capturing his lips in a quick kiss. "Nothing at all."             

  **. o 0 O § O 0 o .**

Fuck, if you guys don't review for that, I'll cry. ;_;

   **. o 0 O § O 0 o . **_Hirari's Stupid Chatterbox _**. o 0 O § O 0 o .**

**   . ** I am deeply shocked. Kelly from King Of The Jungle has won her own show, and I am very upset and very bothered by this. She didn't even deserve to be on the few segments on King of the Jungle much less her own damn show. I don't even think anyone knows what I'm talking about, so I'll just stop right now.  

**   .  **Sorry this chapter bites. Chapter 6 and 9 don't bite. They purr… What the hell am I stating? Argh, never mind. This subject is trash.

**   .  **I finished Harry Potter books two and three. Now number four I'm getting started on, and when my friend Stephanie let me borrow the book, I think the phrase "Have fun" just changed into something terrifying. The fourth book is bigger then the Holy Bible for the love of Jesuschristo. I fear seeing the fifth one. Or the sixth. Or the seventh… 

**   .  **The AUTHOR has been through another CHUNK of HELL in the past 2 WEEKS that she SERIOUSLY DOUBTS her own SANITY. This may be a PROBLEM in most cases, for SHE has NO INTENTIONS to see ANOTHER RAY OF SUNSHINE for as long as GOD has granted her to LIVE. FORTUNATELY, she is seeking HELP but does NOT know where to FIND SOME. This is ALSO a PROBLEM because the author's SPACE BAR is BROKEN and works like a TETTER-TOTTER. It is also TAPED DOWN with SCOTCH. No not the DRINK, STUPID the TAPE. Concluding onto yet ANOTHER PROBLEM stacking onto her SANITY. Or what's LEFT of it. Please be AWARE that this has to do with NOTHING IMPARTICULAR and that the AUTHOR just wanted you to SUFFER under racking IMPATIENCE with the CAPS LOCK and her new OBESSION for I, MY, ME STRAWBERRY EGGS.   

**    . **Ryoko loves Tenchi. Tenchi loves Ryoko. Ayeka is a brother-loving hussy and should be killed off the Shrine. End of discussion.

    **. **Hirari needs a new summary for this story because it sucks. It sucks major silicon tissue. If any of you have sanity left or proper working brains to help the idiot out, then please do it's really killing our style here. I don't know how she'll repay you, but I will make her do something. I just got my gun back Monday. So it's all good. 

**    .** What year is this? Is it still 2003 that I updated in? *voices from the back of the room are heard calling out* Oh, it still is? Okay thanks. 

    **.** Please excuse my grammatical crap. If I did something wrong, I probably know and I'm remorseful. Please just ignore it and label me incompetent if you'd like. I don't really care for it anymore. 

    **. **Hey, they caught Saddam Hussein. This is better than my birthday. 

**    .** At the Annual GDL Christmas Pageant of 2003, Krystle, a Goth named Brittany and I decided to push a prep named Heather off of the stage and into the sea of the Sunshine Chorus. We succeeded in knocking her off the stage, but failed to remember until after the pageant that were being video taped. Camera dude Daniel started to laugh when he left the church to make nearly 3000 copies and send them out as Christmas greetings. It did not help at all when Krystle and I acted like Hindus through the entire thing. Ah, crap. 

**    . **Check out my _Thank you's and Wishes!_ section or die.

**  . o 0 O § O 0 o . **_Thank You's and Wishes!_** . o 0 O § O 0 o .**

I'd like to thank everyone who put me on their favorite authors list.  

  Thank you all so much! Awesomenessness! Thanks!

  **_Review for me!_**

  **Wishes** :: 

  I wish you all a very happy holidays, everyone! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Seasons Greetings and all that merriment! I wish you all safe traveling, comfort and joy and may you get lots of presents you ignorant masses of crud. ^_^ May Foamy ridicule everyone against his wishes and bless those who leave me reviews and are still reading my talk nineteen to the dozen. 

  But seriously, may your Holidays be bright. Take care and keep warm and chilly wherever you may be this season!

  **Merry Christmas 2003! **_w00t!  _

Love and lots of neat gadgets and gizmos (Reba gata!),

  **Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup**


	12. Smooth Operators

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  **Disclaimer: **You're asking this girl if she is in possession of the greatest Anime ever when she, herself, can't even take part in a time-shared dog? 

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  **** **Forward Important Notice**: Every part of my furniture has been moved, and the wall near my computer has been smashed open. Not to mention my bathroom and closet are in no better condition. A leak of water in my neighbor's apartment has flooded her whole living room, bathroom, closets, and kitchen. And like the disrespectful Amish (You can't tell me shit about the Amish, because you are not Amish. If you were, you wouldn't even be reading this) stepford she is, she blames every single problem she has on either:

**A.) **Her neighbors. ****

**B.) **The landlord.****

**C.) **God. ****

   Well, the landlord doesn't even remember that he owns 4 apartment buildings in Lauderdale and can care less for the problems that happen to it, to God all the people of the world are his little T.V. shows and we can't really make him switch the channel off us. So, who is left? The wench. I actually found it funny when they started arguing about the sewage water in her apartment at early hours of the morning, but when I heard 'break' 'wall' and 'hell' used in the same sentence all laughter just stops, rolls over, and dies. Frankly, I wanted to do the same. Yet here I am, my chair almost 2 inches in sewage water. So I am just writing this before I get electrocuted. Can't type more until the water is gone, so the rest after the last words of this sentence history to be made.

  **** I snapped an idea in the middle of the night like a fresh green bean. Somehow, a newer form of the plot will take play than from what I had before and even more sarcasm and naughty language will ensue. From thence more freakin' characters will arise and—wait, wait, wait—HOLD. THE. PHONE… This sounds like I'm crafting fucking Armageddon. But I don't want this to turn into a Forest Gump, so it'll have to do. I have counted over the characters in my little reference guide I made in Notepad. Turns out that there are in the _least_ 55 more people/demons/random beasts to jostle into this story, and it is up to my full intentions to do so. Hopefully, my ideas will not freak out the audiences just because my head is missing a few bolts. Pass the salt.****

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 ** WARNINGS**: Bashing and all that jolly good juice we love.  

 ** KEEP IN MIND**: Fuck you guys who can't handle Bonehilda. That is the most realistic thing I've had in this story! I am **NOT** taking medication (for some of you who had the gull to _ask_), and if you can't take the fact that there are people out there in worse condition than you are, then I think **YOU** are the ones in need of medication. What the hell do you want me to take for the pattern of my brain waves? Dramamine? If you don't benefit from what this story has to offer, than it's your loss when everything gets better in the end and you're the one who is left in the lurch of because you acted like despondent pocket-sized vomit-trashing Joe Dirts with no valor or compassion. I have no problem with people being a little bit shaken by the last chapter, but calm the fuck down some of you. It's not like Reagan made another nuclear bomb joke so chill. 

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     **Dirty Sneakers **

   _Chapter 12 __» Smooth Operators  _

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     The day was beginning and everyone around the area seemed to be more alive. People took tendency upon themselves to roam The Courts while Botan and Momig sat on the sidelines watching them all like hawks. 

     But on the other side of realism, the gang of high school students and the glamour glommer gimpettes were all lined up against the fence with Chocolate eyeing each and every one of them like a drill sergeant. Kanna who was making small head and neck gestures to her brother was standing right behind her. Naraku just nodded and turned his attention to Kohaku and Souta. The two boys were trying to chat up the same guy who Jakotsu was currently hitting on with Bankotsu trying his best to pry his brother off the poor circus folk. Naraku snorted, reversing his gaze from Chocolate who was eyeing him suspiciously. 

    Behind her back, Chocolate lightly tapped the whip handle against her hand, walking against the line that the high school students made sloppily along the prickly fence.  

   "So, you'll all see the light of day again from the other side…eh…?" She said wistfully.

    InuYasha jabbed Kagome lightly in the ribs. 

   "Don't you think that she's getting the hang of this job of hers?" InuYasha whispered. Kagome giggled as Chocolate gave InuYasha a mocking glance and enduring her tromps. 

   "Yeah! And if she isn't, who the hell cares? She has half the looks to kill, and the other half to run her own street." Kagome whispered off-handedly. Sango and Miroku chuckled behind their wrists. (H/N: When someone comes up to you and asks, "Do you run your own street?" of course that means that they're asking if you're a prostitute. It's exactly what a lot lizard is, as well.)

   "So when are we getting out of this firestorm?" Sango asked her other three friends.

  "I'd say soon," Miroku spoke up as his eyes roamed The Courts until they landed on Kanna. Kanna was now talking to Officer Chocolate as Naraku reached for Chocolate's belt side suspiciously.

   Miroku pointed to Naraku and Kanna and turned back to his friends as they looked onto where he had pointed just before. 

  "What do you suppose he's doing?" Sango asked quite perplexed, pulling her hand out of the diamond-rimmed fence they sneaked through.  

  Miroku smirked. "Maybe he's just seeking for a little something-something." 

  InuYasha looked disgusted. "It's all about the perversion with you isn't it?"

  "It is nothing but slender sexual tension my friend."

  "Sexual tension," Kagome said questioningly, rolling her eyes. "Miroku, you think that the September 11th national and international Moment Of Silence is just a bunch of sexual tension. Right in the middle of it Miroku was breaking a sweat so bad it was flowing like Niagara Falls. You almost had to make me look for a barrel to float in." 

  But before anyone had a chance to respond or laugh or sulk, Kagome stepped forward from against the fence and stood rigidly frozen. 

  "What's wrong Kagome?" InuYasha asked worriedly. 

  Kagome settled back against the fence with a relaxed composure like nothing happened. But her façade looked slightly vexed.

  "Bad intuition."

  Officer Chocolate took that right time to pluck Kikyo off the fence and shove her forward.

  "You, bunny-boiler, lead your fucking crew to the front there," Chocolate pointed to the gates where Kanna and the manic Souta and Kohaku. "Goshinki will lead you out, and there you will take chartered cars to escort you out of here and back home where you 'oughta be. You're all off on bail." 

   "Not all of us, lady." Bankotsu spoke. He had Jakotsu by the shirt collar that was waving to some guys who sharply resembled Fats Domino in a white version, and were urgently ushering him over.  InuYasha, Kagome, Sango and Miroku looked confused, and they were the only ones besides the sluts who were huddled together and shaking like puppies about to be eaten by Anna Nicole Smith and didn't really care much.  

   The Shichinin-tai group appeared quite baffled but intent to listen. 

   "What the hell are you dolts talking about?" Chocolate snapped.

   "What I mean is that we will be staying for just one more week because my brother seems…" Bankotsu paused, searching for the right words to complete his statement and pass it along like an innocent child. Or at least the innocent child's parent.

   "To be attached to this place."

   "More like attached to the men." Mumbled a revolted Miroku.  

   "How long?" Chocolate folded her arms over her chest and sighed roughly.

   "Nearly a week," Bankotsu reasoned. "Maybe more."

   Chocolate snorted. Bankotsu finally let go of Jakotsu's struggling shirt and there Jakotsu shot off like a rocket. He walked over to Kouga and grabbed his collar in a tight fist that started to make him choke. Ayame laughed at her rival's pain until she was on the floor gagging like a wigger.  

   "You, Kouga, are staying here also."

   "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEA—"

   "Quiet, imbecile. Don't argue with me."

   "DON'T YOU TELL ME TO QUIET!! I'M NOT—"

   Now, Bankotsu was a reasonable person. But once on his bad side, always on his bad side. Right now, he wasn't in the mood to argue and by estimation if they didn't get Kouga to shut up and soon, some blood was gonna' spill. Bankotsu's fist tightened on Kouga's shirt collar and his scowl cut deep. 

   "How about you obtain a fad beyond making a rancid ass out of yourself every time you open your itinerant sperm bank of a mouth? Now are you going to shut up or not? People want to leave about now." 

   Kouga just nodded in dazed astonishment. Bankotsu scoffed and threw him against the prickly barrier. Chocolate watched on in, what seemed to be, impressionable respect for Bankotsu. 

   "He's staying too." Bankotsu stated to the sadist officer. 

   "Alright fine, everyone move. Time for you palookas to rid everyone of your presence...Thank God."

   Kanna made her way first out of the unlocked gates with Kohaku and Souta then waited for everyone to get out. Kagome just shoved Chocolate harshly shoulder-to-shoulder out of the way and was followed by Sango. Miroku and InuYasha just passed by with glares and insults, while the sluts followed quickly for 'protection' but eventually got shoved into the back of the line that lead out. 

   Sesshoumaru and Naraku were the last ones to leave the gates. Sesshoumaru took one looked back as Naraku silently gave an item into the waiting hands of Bankotsu, who was watching them all leave. It went unnoticed as Naraku and Sesshoumaru kept droll expressions and left through the gates.

   It was hell on the outside. Shippou was trying his best to calm a raving Crayon down. Crayon was shouting about Goshinki's crooked badge while Shippou was telling him that she was an Obsessive Compulsive and wasn't ready to be 'put away' like the guard had offered. InuYasha and Sango were thrashing a distorted, not to mention perverted, Miroku for trying to cop a feel of Kagome's rump. Kagome herself was having a verbal abuse session with Chocolate for talking dire about Souta and the lead backer of Howard the Duck. 

   The closed gates gathered around the Shichinin-tai, giving Bankotsu luck with their other brother. 

   Sesshoumaru and Naraku were talking in low tones and away from the other groups with shifty eyes and a 3vil atmosphere. The three doolally lot lizards, Yura, Kagura, and Kikyo, were presently being made fun of by passing officers and kicked around by Souta and Kohaku like an empty pill canister. 

    Hojo was busy sneaking up on random people and tapping their shoulders to make them look around so he can duck like he didn't do it, acting like the odd basket case he always was. 

    "This way—follow me!" Kiyone stood with a bubbly-as-ever Mihoshi holding a pink cube right behind her. Hell, she was practically clinging happily to her like a Bounce fabric softener sheet. 

    The crowd gathered, all talking ceased to a lower volume, not wanting to risk further damage to their ears and skin so all who were out followed her order. Kiyone turned to Mihoshi.

    "Remember: up turn, left turn, right turn, right turn. Got it?" Mihoshi nodded eccentrically. 

    "Right-o, Kiyone! I got it all under control, don't you worry!" Holding up the transparent pink cube and about to screw it sideways, Kiyone stopped her just in time and grabbed the cube away with a frown.

    "Never-frickin'-mind. We're walking. I needed a good walk anyways…" 

    And so they all left with a commotion heading back to the Sunset Shrine in sirens.

   º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º  _Back within The Courts_  º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º

    "Bankotsu, why the hell are we _really_ here? I know we aren't just staying so your pillow-biting brother can get some action with some lout named Fritz. InuYasha is taking _MY_ woman home, and I'm stuck here with you, the pita (H/N: Pain In The Ass), and that bizitch," Kouga said quite angrily. Bankotsu and him were in a far away area of The Courts under a shady tree, already sitting and discussing business where no one was near. Jakotsu was all the way on the other side of The Courts enjoying his stay to the fullest like a child at his own birthday party. 

   "You know as well as I do that I can't stand my brother much, but it's the only reason to stay behind. We need to make sure that he doesn't get out of hand. Leaving him in jail with a bunch of men might gather him some long-term relationships so he can keep away from some of us guys at home. Plus, it'll give him time to write to some of his new friends here. We worry that he's going to be dyslexic, so we're just trying to expand his horizons by letting him stay." Bankotsu stated wisely, choosing to avoid the comment Kouga made about 'his' Kagome. 

   "Killing two birds with one stone." Kouga said knowingly.

   Bankotsu shrugged. "You could say that."

   "But why do _I _have to stay here? Why not your brothers who worry over him and stay?" Kouga snarled.

   "Because," Bankotsu stated ever so calmly. "No one else was up for the challenge. The other men were too afraid or too bold to be kept contained. You, me, we have the will power to just stay another week or so. Besides, Naraku gave generous compensation to bail us out. And if there is any information to be dished out here that's pretty juicy than we're the first ones to know about it and tell it to the outside world. Maybe even make some money off of it."

    Kouga accepted this and couldn't help but smirk smugly. "Who the hell are you gonna' tell if we do dig up some dirt? We only have one phone call. It would be plain-ass stupid to just tell it to them in the middle of the week because something may happen afterwards. We'd need our own phone or something to call."

   It was Bankotsu's turn to smirk. "I'd thought you'd never bring it up." And slowly out of his long hoodie sleeve came his hand wrapped lightly around a small black leather-cased object.

   Kouga eyed it suspiciously before his eyes widened in realization.

  "That's—"

   "Chocolate's cell phone." Bankotsu interrupted. "Naraku stole it from behind her just as Kanna was arguing with her about the charges everyone was arrested for. I doubt Chocolate will notice until much later—hell she may never notice. Sesshoumaru is an expert with cell phones, see. He checked around the number files and found out that the only number listed is the local Pizza Hut. It's only been called four times in the last 5 months."

   Kouga gave a loud chortle and slapped Bankotsu on the back in congrats. 

  "You sly bastards. But how on God's green earth did you find out how many times that Pizza Hut was called?"

  "Like I said," Bankotsu said flicking Kouga's hand from his shoulder. "Sesshoumaru is Dennis the Menace of cell phones. He has his ways." Bankotsu put his cobalt hoodie over his head that shadowed his face. He flipped the cell phone over as Kouga looked down at the attachment that was clipped into the phone's belt clip. 

   "It's a note." Kouga stated.

   The boy under the hood rolled his eyes unnoticed. "I didn't even notice that until you said something. Gee, what would I ever do without you Holmes?" 

   "Ah, shut the hell up and open it." Kouga spat.  

   Bankotsu did so. The scribbling looked like it was done on another person's back with close to dried out black ink. The note read:

   _'Bankotsu and whoever the hell you took down with you,_

_   You know where this came from. Return it to the belt from where it came, or just take it with you and destroy it before the bitch notices it's gone and decides to track it down after everything is said and done. Call when ready to be picked up, or in any case, we're getting you three out in a week and 4 days counting anyways. Sesshoumaru already engraved the bitch's cell number on his forearm incase you don't call within that time. Kagome's number, Sesshoumaru's number, and my number are written at the bottom incase you need to call someone for emergency or really messy dirt. If I were you, I'd call Kagome's number first since that's where everyone is staying for a while. And remember while you're in prison—trust **nobody**. Remember you are in a jar full of dejected yahoos out for a thrill. It's no playground when nighttime comes either. Oh Christ, I'm stopping this. I'm starting to sound like a mother. Just fucking beware of people you meet and keep us informed in private every other fucking day, got it?_

_      Good luck with the flaming she-devil from the pits of Davie Jones' Locker,  _

_      Naraku'_

     "You heard 'im." Bankotsu demanded gallantly.

     "Loud and clear." Kouga responded reverently, mentally memorizing Kagome's phone number in his mind. 

  º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º _At The Sunset Shrine where everyone is riled and pissed_ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º

    "Naraku…"

    "What is it, Kanna?"

    "You know that dad is going to cut off your head faster than you can say _'Hey, hey, that's my tractor'_, right?"

    "…We should just kill him."

    "Electrocution? Setting him on fire? Drowning him? Burying him alive? Making him watch the whole 7 seasons of Dallas from the very beginning? You're forgetting brother dearest, we've already done all that. Repeatedly."

    "What were the results of all that again?"

    "The nurses in the hospital told us to stop after she found us in numerous places with dad's body stabilized to the stretcher and his little plastic water bag-whatever the hell that was that was keeping him alive."

    "Didn't we ever stab a knife in one of those things at some time?"

    "Yeah, but the bastard kept on breathing. Don't you remember when we plugged his nose with those cotton swabs dunked in chloroform a couple of minutes before that very nurse came back to check on him?"

    "Aaah… Those were the days."

   That was the very conversation going on between Naraku and Kanna. But at the card table that was set up in the middle of the Higurashi living room was quite talkative than the brother and sister who already had their fates sealed by their own blood. The card table's conversation was really quite the opposite, indeed.

     Kagome, InuYasha, Sesshoumaru, Sango, Miroku, Crayon, Shippou, Renkotsu, Kyoukotsu, Mukotsu, Ginkotsu, Suikotsu, and Hojo were sitting around the table like dogs playing poker in that one famous painting.

    "In any case I'm glad that Kouga is gone." InuYasha stated. He leaned back in his chair with his a blissful and worry-free expression on his face.

    "Maybe it's because you're just jealous of him. I swear InuYasha, once you talk to him you'll be friends with him, I know it!" 

    "Jealous?! **_ME_** Jealous? Pocky!" InuYasha shouted, slamming his chair back on all fours.

    At the name of Pocky, Kohaku and Souta ran into the kitchen at full-speed raiding the fridge for any sign of the god.  

    "Yeah I kind of noticed that as well." Miroku said lightly. He smoothed out his hair from the whiplash of the two little monsters that roared past. "Right when we were about to be arrested Kouga made a quick grab for Kagome, but you fended him off instead. Oh sure, InuYasha. You aren't jealous." 

    "To hell with your sarcasm, Roku!" InuYasha shouted to his best friend. 

    "Been there, came back. No where else to go but in my very mouth." Miroku replied to his friend's hot temper.

    "I'll bet! Just like a—" InuYasha was interrupted by a slap on the ear by none other than Kagome. His abused ear swiveled and twitched before it fell flat against his head. "Oi!!"

    "InuYasha, you say it and I'll hurt you." Kagome said in a warning tone of voice.

    "Feh! Make me, thunder-thighs." InuYasha smirked. He knew the effect that phrase had on woman. Sango gasped in horror from next to Kagome and was already trying to calm her fuming girlfriend back into her chair. 

    "Kagome! Settle down! He's just trying to get under your skin, you know it!" Sango shouted uselessly.

   "What's the matter, Kagome? You must be really weak to be held back by a breathing toothpick."

   Sango narrowed her eyes into slits and released Kagome immediately. 

   "Smack him one for me, Kagome." Sango said airily and sat back down in her chair going back into conversation.

    Kagome chased InuYasha around the house for a good 10 minutes until she finally tackled him near the stairway and pinned him beneath her. They were panting hard from running around and shouting. Kagome fell flat against InuYasha's cast-iron chest to keep him from escaping not even noticing him blush severely beneath her. 

    "Get.. off." InuYasha panted. He was a real hypocrite, you know. Didn't really mean what he said, hoping she didn't hear it. He placed his hand on Kagome's back and made soothing motions when she started to cough lightly. 

    "Hey, Kagome-chan, are you alright there?" He spoke purely worried at her heavy breathing.

   "Yeah, I'll live. Hey, when did it get so hot in here?" Kagome sat up and in the process straddled InuYasha's waist, making him blush scarlet even harder.

   "Um.." InuYasha stuttered, fiddling with his silver hair that was fanned out all around him on the floor.

   "What? Oh…" Kagome blushed just as hard as InuYasha was after she got up. Moving to the side and clinging comfortably to InuYasha's arm, the ebony-haired teen sighed in content. 

   InuYasha smirked. "Comfortable, thunder-thighs?"

   Kagome let go of his arm angrily and pinched an ear with her nails making him yelp like Lassie. 

   "Why always the EARS Kagome?! I should file you for ear harassment!" 

   She snickered. "And what are you going to tell the people on the line? 'Hello, my name is InuYasha and my best friend Kagome won't stop sexually harassing my ears?' That'd get your name on jokeaday.com for sure."  

   InuYasha gave a 'feh' and sat up. "And who said you were my best friend, eh?" 

   "I'm not your best friend? Well _fine_ then, you ain't my best friend neither." Kagome's eyes widened and she too sat up and turned her back on him to face the wall. Her shoulders slumped as she sulked.

   "Aww… Don't be like that, Kag-chan." InuYasha said playfully and started to crawl towards her and behind her back.

   "Nu-uh, you can't call me that, only my friends call me Kag-chan. You aren't my friend." Kagome found it hard to face away from InuYasha as he peeked his head cutely from the side of her ribs but she came through somehow.  

   "C'mon, Kag-chan, I was only teasing. Forgive me?" InuYasha tackled her to the carpet and gave her the puppy face. She didn't know how did she it, but Kagome found the will power to look away from his adorable gold eyes once more.

   "…You called me fat."

   "What? Is that mondo bizarro to you?"

   Kagome gasped. "I am not fat!" She looked sadly into his eyes after a second or two. "…Do you really think I'm fat?" 

   "The truth?" InuYasha asked, her sadness at his unfair teasing breaking his own heart. He never liked to see her down, not even a bit by anything. He wanted his worry-free Kagome to stay that way, happy and forevermore. Hmm… His Kagome…

   Kagome rolled her eyes. "Well, as they say, 'the truth will set you free,'" Kagome's hand latched onto InuYasha's doggie ear. "And in this case, it will." 

   "You aren't fat, Kagome. You, I and everyone know that you're not, I was just teasing." InuYasha sat up and gathered Kagome in a tender kind of bone-gripping embrace. 

   "Okay, okay! I believe you!" Kagome laughed, as InuYasha started to tickle her back to the floor until she was squirming and shouting beneath him. InuYasha soon obliged to her command and looked down into her eyes with his silver hair drawing to cover them both as if they were drapes.  

   "Best friends again?" InuYasha asked innocently, baring a fang for a plus in sexiness. (H/N: *whistles*) 

   "Forever, InuYasha. And you know it!" Kagome leaned forward and pulled InuYasha down to her in a warm cuddle. Soon enough, her small and fragile hands found their way back to InuYasha's fuzzy ears. 

   "Hm… Sounds good to me." In next to no time, InuYasha found himself, and within the nadir of his heart, truly in love with Kagome Higurashi. 

    And no one, not **_anyone_**, could take that away from him. 

 º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º _End Chapter _º ¦ º ± º ¦ º ¦ º ± º ¦ º

   ** Ending Notes**: Okay everyone here's the new deal. I know the chapters have been coming in quite slow, but I've figured out a solution. I've decided to stop the personal reviewing of every one's review. But here's the conception. If anyone would like me to give him or her a group e-mail stating when the story is being updated, then I will add you in a list. So if anyone would like to be sent an e-mail, than you can notify me. Just leave your name (not your real name, just your pen name) and e-mail address to be notified. The only time I will respond is if you have important questions about the story. Sorry 'bout that everyone! I hope everyone still reviews though.

   I'll be posting this up now before my computer blows up on me like that teacher in Final Destination. I would hate to have glass in my throat before I post this. o_O I'll be goin' now…

   Happy Freakin' New Year,

   **Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup**


	13. Something Wild This Way Comes

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 **Disclaimer**:Is that a heckler? No. It's an asshole.

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 **** **Stick-its**: I think I was high making this chapter…HIGH ON LIFE. Man, that cereal kicks some chief Scooby gummies. Don't be eye-poppin' yourselves if this chapter ends up queer. Just because I'm eating Life and listening to Milkshake while trying madly to terminate pop-ups of CSS pr0n before the wench sees means absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. 

 Thoia thoia thoia thoing tho-thoing…

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 ** WARNINGS**: This whole story is one big warning. If you don't get it by now, than get the hell out of my house. @_# The only warning in this chapter is ph33r of the bone-crushing hugs and beguiling thoughts if I really am an American. 

 ** KEEP IN MIND**: I'm still not on medication! Ha!

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      **Dirty Sneakers**

   _Chapter 13 » Something Wild This Way Comes_

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      The next couple of days for everyone who were present at the asylum dubbed a 'Redefining delinquent center for all ages and species!' were wild. The Higurashi Shrine was swarmed with so many phone calls that sometimes when Kagome would pick up the phone to answer; three people were on the same line. The Press, the parents, school mates, and sometimes some perverted callers would ring in and try to sneak in some information or demand what happened to their babies.

     Evidentially, everyone who had parents who cared went home.

     …Which meant that Crayon had to go. Naraku and Kanna followed later for security purposes and a quick stop at a drugstore for a couple of tubes of Anti-Burn cream. 

     So here they all were. Scattered about the Shrine grounds, or out to Game Stop or the Five and Dime to pick up some entertainment and grub. What was left of the Shichinin-tai were out, and Shippou as well as Sesshoumaru was lazing on the couch watching Comedy Central. It left Souta and Kohaku checking out the storage area of the shrine to hunt down some 'mythical creatures', 'deadly potions', or maybe even a battery or two for their Gameboys. 

     For the time being, Kagome was frantically running around and shoving everyone down who was in her way to pick up the phones. In less then three minutes did she ram shoulder-to-shoulder into InuYasha and Miroku. They were now yelling at the tops of their lungs about having the girl get to a community center for some group therapy or a snickers bar… Sango was trying to ward off Hojo with some of Kagome's gramp's ofudas that were left on the coffee table next to the _'How To Mend Your Hotrod, Hot Stuff!' _magazines and pamphlets of retirement homes that were hidden inside. 

    Hojo was back with the waffle lecture and it was just cramping her style. Not only that, but Kagome's mom's choice in magazines were downright weird.

   After many attempts to kill Hojo in a fair game of Dungeons and Dragons, Sango was ordered to put the historical sword back on the wall where it came from by Kagome as she ran to pick up the phone and hang it back up without a word spoken to the yelling caller.  

   All things considered, it was a pretty normal day in the Sunset Shrine.

   "Shippou, turn the damn TV down! I can't hear, I'm on the phone!" 

   Shippou didn't seem to know he was being called for. Involuntarily, he grabbed the remote from Sesshoumaru and turned up the volume. At that same point, clanks and clangs of pots and pans followed by the bellowing voices of InuYasha and Miroku were heard a tone under the TV volume. Kagome groaned and plugged her index finger into her ear to block out the noise. Not much success, I'll tell ya that much.

   "NO! NO!…NO! I'M TRYING TO KEEP THE LINE FREE SO I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK!"    

   To add onto her temper, Souta and Kohaku came in from the front door. Kohaku was chasing a screaming Souta around wearing a ridiculous mask that resembled one of a porcelain doll with a crack on its upper forehead. Souta tripped and crashed into the couch right on top of Shippou making him miss parts of his favorite episode of South Park. Kagome made a loud grunt that made the caller frown. She plugged her finger a little deeper into her ear and tried to clear the noises from her head and focus on the voice over the phone.

   "NO, SORRY MA'AM, I WASN'T GROWLING AT YOU! WH-WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!…NO, I CAN'T TURN IT OFF, IT'S MY HOUSE!… NO MA'AM, I CAN'T TURN OFF MY HOUSE! I CAN'T—HOLD ON A MINUTE!"

   Kagome pulled her finger from her ear and placed her palm over the bottom part. She made attempts to shut everyone off by kicking some items at whoever was the loudest but it was no use. Taking in a deep breath and clearing her throat Kagome lost her nerve. 

   "IF NO ONE SHUTS THEIR CRACKER BARRELS IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS THEN I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS TABLE LEG—" Kagome kicked over a table top that held a vase of red and yellow Poppies. Her kick smashed all pent-up anger into breaking off one of the table's legs and punting it forward into view of everyone's widened eyes. "AND SHOVE IT _STRAIGHT UP_ THEIR ASS!"  

   Kagome turned around from the dead silence and tumbleweed, taking her palm off the phone. 

   "Okay, hello? No, ma'am, I don't give a flying fig about obese lepers in the mid-west… Donations? Fine, fine, let me get a pen." Kagome made a gesture that looked like she was holding an invisible pen and started scribbling on air and nodding as the lady on the other line gave out an address. 

    "…81st Cramit Upzeharse Vineyard, 4311. Got'cha. Glad to help." With a loud grunt, the girl hung up the phone. Not paying attention to the stares she was getting, Kagome found her way to the kitchen. Man, had she wish she just didn't.

    "What the FUCK did you DO to my KITCHEN!?"  She asked with complete horror in her eyes. Miroku and InuYasha looked around the kitchen, and there they saw it.

    A bronze pot was crooked vertically. Miroku quickly ran in front of the pot whistling and InuYasha was stuttering an explanation that didn't help Kagome's temper much. The entire racket made only Sango, Souta and Kohaku run into the kitchen looking for some WWF, oh, excuse me, WW (H/N: It felt queer just _writing_ WW.) action. Everyone else in the house was too busy sucking up South Park. 

    "Um, Well, you see… Kagome, now don't get mad, but me and Miroku were only—"

    "Miroku and _I_." 

    "Pin it, Captain Kangaroo."

    "Right-o, Yash."

    "So like I was fucking saying…" 

  "º""º""º""º""º" _12 minutes and a lot of empty Tylenol bottles later_ "º""º""º""º""º"

    Sango and Miroku were parked on the peaches n' cream carpet of the living room. They were playing Patty Cake like a couple of Androids that had just escaped the Dragon Ball project. It was DULL and LACKLUSTER. 

    Kagome was skulking at the wall like it was her arch nemesis asking for 50 cents to buy a twinkie from a vending machine. InuYasha was doing the same thing, except he was facing Kagome's side with nail-scratches up and down his shirt and face. He looked like a soul survivor of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. 

     Across the room Sesshoumaru shouted, "COMMERCIAL BREAK!" when he and Shippou were bombarding the fridge like Osama out for some Lysol to sip on in no time. We focus on how vicious they are, fighting over the macaroni salad, and try hard not to verbally abuse the author out of her rights to make cracks on people who can snap her neck like a slim jim if they weren't as thin as Jessica Simpson's intelligence. Shippou tripped Souta as he ran by for some kicks (H/N: Ironic). Sesshoumaru glided over the small boy to the LAY-Z-BOY recliner to eat his guacamole Doritos and a can of Hop-On-Pop cola, for lack of a better name to title a caramel-flavored pimple-popping beverage that can single handedly start riots in Russia.    

     "I said I was—" InuYasha was interrupted by Kagome's small hand in his face.  

     "Talk to the hand, 'cause the breasts can't hear you." Aaaaand InuYasha reversed his gaze, because yes indeedy, he was looking where no other man would dare to look unless you were Miroku or Hideki from Chobits. Plus, InuYasha looked really cute sitting there; blushing so hard he could out-redden a red neck on a dire day for just being caught staring at every woman's prized possession. 

     "But I don't think you heard me clearly then because you're still BITCHING about it." InuYasha rowed, twitching angrily and swatting Kagome's hand out of his face. He gripped her shoulders and made her face him; man to semi-compulsive tomboy. 

     "I. AM. SORRY. FOR. NOT. BEING. PERFECT. Is that good enough for you or do I need to torture Buyo some more?" InuYasha asked, shaking her slightly.  

     "Geez, you say it like you were being sarcastic." Kagome rolled her eyes and went back to her staring-contest with the wall. "And don't you _touch_ Buyo." She added as an after thought. 

     "Humph. Kikyo would forgive me if I said I was sorry." 

      Everything just… stopped. 

     Kagome smacked InuYasha a good one across his face for intolerance and pent up anger for ANYONE saying that name in her home wearing a straight face. 

     "Hey, that's **_low_**, chap! Just because you've fallen under the Wicked Witch of the Wild, Wild Whores' spell of 'seduction' doesn't mean you can compare me to her! If you're gonna take things like that, then get outta my house." 

     "I-I didn't mean it like that! Scouts honor!" InuYasha hollered, making a sloppy sign over his heart that looked nothing like a scout's 'Stick-me-in-the-pip-with-a-scythe-if-I-stuttered' salute.  

     Miroku chuckled and crawled over to sit next to InuYasha. "Sure, my friend. You're a boy scout and my father was the Pope. (H/N: Monk, Pope. So far off.) The only useful thing you did when you were a boy was being one with the couch."

     Sango, feeling a little dejected on the other side of the room, came over and sat next to the teed off Kagome. 

    "Don't pay attention to InuYasha, 'go-chan."  Sang assured her bestest friend ever, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "All you have to do is take a deep breath and thank anyone listening that InuYasha wasn't the first person he seduced or kissed."

     Kagome's eyes snapped wide-open. She turned to InuYasha, not noticing Sango chuckling madly or Miroku trying to bury his face into the carpet to hold in his laughter. 

    "You did what." She forced out like she had a gun waiting upstairs.  

    "I don't know what they're TALKING about!" InuYasha yelled. Somewhere in the living room four voices of rude '_Shut the gory fuck up!_'s and '_Damn it! What did he just say?_'s and things need not be mentioned to the human ears. 

    "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME! I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT—AH, DON'T HURT ME!!" Kagome throttled InuYasha and took him to the carpet. They both started shouting. InuYasha was trying his hardest to pry her piranha-like teeth from his neck and keep her from punching him repeatedly in the stomach. 

     Sango and Miroku ceased their laughs into giggles, and after a couple of harsh minutes, were able to pry Kagome a good 6 feet away from InuYasha who looked like he just got 40 years cut off his lifeline. But you couldn't really tell except for the fact that his hair was already snow white. 

     "I can't believe you two don't remember!" Sango exclaimed. "After all this time, we'd of thought you'd kept pictures of yourselves when that moment came and went!" 

    "Now, wait just a damn minute!" InuYasha shot back quickly. "I don't remember anything like that so just—wait, did you just say 'yourselves'?" He stopped arguing immediately as an ear twitched in confusion, making Kagome squeal in deluxe delight. 

    "That explains it. You really have no memory of it at all do you?" Miroku sighed, but on the inside, he was having his own little party where no one but Belladonna from Cutting Edge Dolls and Sango were invited.

    "Just shut up and refresh our memories!" Kagome shouted, getting impatient with their cool patient manners. InuYasha was nodding vigorously in agreement.

    "Fine, just don't get your nipple in a knot." Miroku reacted. "It was about 5 years ago when…"

"º""º""º""º""º" _5 years ago from when_ "º""º""º""º""º"

     "INUYASHA! I won, you lost, so pucker up and face me like the man you're not!" A youthful 13-year-old Kagome sat in a darkened room with a single light hanging over the card table she and InuYasha were playing at. 

     Kagome loved to gamble.

     She witnessed her dude friend across from her blush, and pick up his chair. He was rudely taking up the '_you're no man, you're a louse!_' challenge she knew InuYasha just couldn't refuse. She smiled widely when her friend dropped and tripped over his chair and starting hissing like he had a tail that was stepped on. 

     "NO! I WON'T DO IT! SCREW YOU!"

     Kagome looked genuinely hurt. InuYasha was nursing his bruised leg and cussing a string line of obsanities that would put Eminem out of business to notice. 

     "WELL FINE THEN! You good for nothing sexist... I'M TELLING ON YOU!" Kagome screamed, and started to run in spite of her fury. A hand grabbing her ankle making her fall stopped her. 

     "Don't tell nobody, Kag! I'll do it!" InuYasha hissed beseechingly. 

     "YAY!" And not yet recognizing she was completing his task for him, Kagome cradled his face in her fragile yet tomboyish hands and pressed her lips to his. InuYasha's eyes were extremely broad with shock as he felt little butterfly like movements in the depth of his gut. They weren't the annoying butterflies he used to capture… they were the kind that he never wanted to leave. Her lips were so perfect. Before he could respond to the pleasure, Kagome pulled back abruptly, taking in a deep breath like she just came back from scuba diving. 

    Kagome smiled cheerfully like nothing big happened. "See, that wasn't so bad was it?"

    InuYasha, whose eyes never decreased in volume, and cheeks never letting up on their redness, could only just shake his head.

    For the remainder of that day, Kagome was worried with InuYasha's tranquil behavior like he had been Stunned. Seemingly for both of their consciences from then on they were totally digging each other.

 "º""º""º""º""º" _AWWWWWW!_ "º""º""º""º""º"

    Miroku finished off the tale with a cordial sigh. Sango was staring at him like strong forces of Lilliputians were keeping her down like Gulliver from strangling him senseless. 

    Sango finally took the time to calm down from the inner Armageddon she was forced to experience and sighed.

    "'They were totally digging each other'…?" 

    "Yep."

    Miroku looked around the living room; oblivious to Sango wondering to herself what generation he was stuck in. 

    "Hey, where did InuYasha and Kagome go?"

     "Not even half way through your story," Sango smirked. "Kagome was tripping over her own tongue and ran upstairs. InuYasha ran over and joined the couch ninjas in watching Monk." 

     Miroku perked up, "Oooo! My favorite show! Which one is it?? The playboy mansion case?!"   

     Sango rolled her eyes and stood up. "Yeah, whatever." She headed towards the stairs and into Kagome's room.

  "º""º""º""º""º" _At 10:29 P.M. _ "º""º""º""º""º"

     Many hours of persuading Kagome to come downstairs to watch the marathon of Monk, Sango finally got her down because she didn't want to be the only girl downstairs. Everyone ordered pizza and soda from a local place when Shippou went down to Walgreen's and stole some candy disregarded. So now everyone was having a good time after InuYasha and Kagome fought for over half the episode when Adrian cracks the S.A.T case with the 'suicidal' teacher. Gasp, hell suprees.  

    The Shichinin-tai were not back. It got Kagome worried.

    "You guys," Kagome said, glancing at the clock where it now read a quarter to 11 at night. "I'm going out."

    Sango looked up to her friend from the couch nervously. "I don't think you should, Kagome… You never know who's out there at this time of night…"  

    Kagome snorted. "Oh, please. This is Japan. The biggest thing that happened here was probably the stunt we pulled off right before we got smacked into the confines of a nightmare. I have enough experience to deal with night crawlers. Don't wait up for me." Kagome caught InuYasha's doubled anxious gaze and waved him off. 

   "Don't worry. I'll be back sooner then you know it." She reassured them confidently. 

   Sango watched as her friend left through the front door, grabbing her white serpent hoodie and closing the door behind her. Sango shivered. Something just wasn't right. She turned her head in time to see InuYasha's expression almost 2 times more worried than hers was. 

   Flying off the subject for ph33r of being mental, Sango duty-bounded herself to watch the TV, subconsciously playing with her big hoop earring that Kagome bought her a while ago. 

   Everything will be fine, not everything is a horror movie. 

   Kagome's words, though, zoomed through her mind like a never-ending echo. 

   _'Don't worry. I'll be back sooner than you know it.' _

   She didn't.

 "º""º""º""º""º" _The next morning…_"º""º""º""º""º"

   Everyone was bustling about like madmen. Sesshoumaru and InuYasha were investigating the shrine grounds for any sign of Kagome. She never came home, nor did the Shichinin-tai for that matter. Sango was rocking back and forth in a corner warding and screaming at anyone who got near her. She blamed herself for letting Kagome go without someone, but Miroku and Kohaku stilled comforted her from a far.

   Souta was in his room. No one knew what he was doing. They suspected he was crying and just let him be.

   Shippou was on the street near the Sunset Shrine, probing and asking neighbors for any appearance of Kagome. None of them even knew she was home, for they thought she'd be in school like the 'darling sweetie' she was. Ironically, all of them on her block were over 80 and had either cater aches or Alzheimer's disease and thought she still went to pre school. It wasn't the best source to look for her by, but it was better than no leads at all.

    Shippou ran to the steps just as Sesshoumaru and InuYasha were coming down them.

    "Did'ja find her?!" The redhead boy asked with sparks of optimism in his voice.    

    Sesshoumaru glanced up and down the street. "There's something odd coming down the street—"

    InuYasha cut into his sentence like a knife, panting. "—we heard it as we came down from the roof. It's coming this way." InuYasha ran in the middle of the street, which made Sesshoumaru run in and pull him out like a child. 

     "I knew you were crazy, but this is ridiculous." Sesshoumaru grumbled. InuYasha was about to snap something about Kagome's safety when yells coming from the opposite side of the road called out their names. 

     "Naraku! What are you doing here?!" InuYasha shouted, equally angry for being interrupted as Sesshoumaru was. His guilt magnified from his last words to Kagome were just words of anger, and feared they would have been his last to her since she did not return to him like she should have.

     Naraku waved once, almost reminding them of a rising sun from Pocahontas. He was yelling something that they couldn't really pick up over the up-coming mania not to far from turning the corner of the Shrine's street. Something was coming, and it was coming fast.  

     Sesshoumaru raised a penciled brow and cupped his pointed ear. 

    "WHAT?! We! Can't! Hear! You!"

     Naraku slumped over for a second. A gigantic bellow magnified from across the street.

     "SHE'S COMING!"

     Shippou appeared tart. He stepped down between the silver-haired brothers, appearing as if a Hobbit compared to a wizard. 

    Before anyone knew what it was, a giant swooping blur of sky blue, wheat, brown and orange raged down the street. Making everyone even more confused and mystified by the REALLY giant vehicle, it swerved back down the boulevard coming right back at the Shrine.

    "TAKE COVER!" They heard Naraku shout and followed behind a safer magnitude on the steps. 

    The automobile tipped dangerously on three wheels. As it swung around like a boomerang earlier, and finally tipping back on it's full six wheels. It stopped abruptly perfectly next to the Shrine steps and everyone slowly came down to see it in full view.

    It was definitely a bus. Not just _a_ bus. A fsking _double-decker_ bus. Painted on the side was a monstrous bird that might even out-size an elephant. The bird had the wings of a hawk along with widened eyes and tangy orange claws of any other bird seen. But like any bird they have not seen, was a large mouth with sharp teeth of a whale shark relative. On the bird was also a lady's torso; the lady's skin was a pale sky blue with claws and no shirt. She had flowing black hair and the deepest of ebony colors ever seen on a creature. The background was a darkened sky with thunderous strikes of purple lightening and droplets of rain with dozens and dozens of the same birds, both male and female, even some with two torsos, crowded the sky of darkened night. _Very_ talented artists created it all with spray paint and fingers. 

    Mesmerized, with InuYasha's vulnerable jaw open and all, they slowly made their way to the parked bus. A sudden jerk came from the bus and the three doors from the front, middle and back flapped open. A second later a shout came from the bus.

     "InuYasha!" 

     InuYasha is no time had a bundle of worn-out white warmth rocket into his arms. He pulled back the dirty hood of white and was shocked to see Kagome's sparkling sapphire eyes swathed with strands of her ruffled midnight-black hair. 

     "KAGOME!!" Hugging the girl was an understatement. InuYasha was practically crushing Kagome to his chest and running his fingers through her hair and mumbling comfortable words in her ear. As much as Kagome secretively loved the all the attention, she couldn't breathe. InuYasha pulled away as fast as he pulled her into a hug and fiercely cut off any of her pleas for air.

     "DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS!? What the hell were you thinking—going off at night like that! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HURT—" Kagome tried to tell him what had happened because she would burst if she didn't, but he just kept ranting on more to himself of the horrors in his own mind than to anyone else. Shippou took the chance to run up to his friend and give her a hug just as Naraku ran over from across the street.  

     Sesshoumaru was peering at the sliding entry of the bus as he saw a gang of teen hop right on out of all three doors. It was the Shichinin-tai. Each and every one of them were covered in dirt and sweat.  

    "Hey!" Suikotsu shouted, stuffing his digital camera into his pocket. 

     Shippou was sent inside to bring out everyone from inside the house. In no time, they all ran down the steps and gave each and everyone hugs. Sango was so excited to hear that Kagome was just outside that she pushed everyone out of the way and swooped her best friend into a gut-squishing hug just as InuYasha had done. Except this one had no mercy. Soon, she was being lectured again and the Shichinin-tai were having no better luck with everyone else. The questions just flowed like rain.    

    "Just what the blazing hell is that thing?!"

    "You guys didn't steal it did you?! YOU DID DIDN'T YOU?!"

    "Who are they?" Miroku's curious question settled the noise on the block as everyone but the passengers of the bus turned their attentions to the two skinny boys in extremely baggy clothes now hoping out of the bus with the weirdest haircuts to show themselves since streakers came out in the 70's.

    "'Ello, blokes." The boy with the Mohawk spoke in a fair British accent that remotely came close to Bill Idol's, his many diamond earrings glinting in the sun as he spoke. The other lad gave a slight nod in hello causing his black beret to tilt over his left eye annoyingly.

    "Ginta and Hakkaku at your service."

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"

    ** Notes: **Maybe I _do_ need a life. The next chapter sorts out any confusion that I have brought upon you (and not to mention _myself—_No, I'm joking, I know what'll happen). Has anyone heard on the news about a lady at the Main Library who backed her car off the building and died? The reason this chapter was late was because I have been feeling miserable since that lady was my friend Stephanie's aunt. Stephanie was the one who has been letting me borrow her Harry Potter books to read (I just finished the fourth book and now I have the urge to kick something). I feel really remorseful this week. And the chapter just fucking lagged. I hope it's all right. In fact, the 14th chapter is now in progress as I finish up these ending notes. 

   I've been disappointed lately to see Sango x InuYasha stories. That's so gross... it's unheard of… Some of you just don't know where to get your entertainment… It's just as bad as Suikotsu x Kikyo pairings—JUST WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 

   Well—I have to walk to Walgreen's and buy some soda since I'm out. Chase is on the phone with me again and ranting about that damn Mech 4 game of his… Gr-runge.

  Did you know that these look like little snitches? -- "º" Oh, that's so cute! 

   Please review, you guys. You're the most fucking best people ever. Vroom vroom! 

   Happy Martin Lutheran King Jr. Day,

   **Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup **


	14. My Fair Lady Must Hide

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"

**Disclaimer:**

  My sadness is blue

  My temper is red

  If I owned InuYasha

  Kikyo'd be dead.

_  Again. HA!_

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"

   _Hey! This is my first update of the year! How slow can I go? Why should I tell you—you already know! _

  **For the Confused and Critical **

  Call it what you like, but Kikyo is fsking dead. She doesn't deserve to be loved. 

  And the fact that a sixth grader, "Birdman" Bobby, says he is doing my grandmother doesn't place me in a slightly jiffy mood. 

   Compare in your mind the two situations. If one isn't right, they both aren't right. It's the same state of affairs no matter how you view it, everyone. The dead should remain in their boxes or cans or wherever you traditionally put carcasses, not loved, just grieved, and that's where it ends.

    [ When Bobby said he was 'doing' my grandmother, he was initially sending the statement out to more than two people. Unhappily, I was one of those people. At least we have a system of getting back at those who insult us.

      "Hey, you. What's for lunch?" - Bobby

      "YOUR MOM!" - Krystle       

       See what I mean? ]

     Oh by the way, is it just me, or does anyone else notice that some people's Pen Names are more interesting than their story titles? I know it's a hackneyed thing to point out but it's everywhere. I think it bothers me because a person will care more on what they go by then a real devoted title to the source of them being at fanfiction.net. It could be just my opinion, but it's kinda getting noticeable. There are thousands upon thousands of titles out here in the void… 

      Wooo… You humans are so fun-nay.

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"

**WARNINGS **

****

   Major Yura and Kikyo bashing! YAAY! Once again, people who like Kikyo and Yura, please leave now like you should have done 13 chapters ago! JIT BAG. _

   **Keep In Mind **

****

   Hey, you might want a virtual bookmark for this chapter. Sheesh. O_o So many things to do, I just had to work in so many pages to this chapter as an extension. I've been working my ass off for pictures to put on my DeviantART account on top of that, I have currently finished SATs last week, and my Spring Break should be coming around the corner soon. I'll start a brand new chapter that week, I promise. 

   I'm sorry it took so long to wait for, but I made it a longer chapter just for you, I stayed home today and had nothing better to do than make an extension to my favorite story. But do you want to know why it took me so long to write it? I put a Trojan into Quarantine. It ate up 1234MB of my computer, I was pissed, haha, so was my mom, haha, all was hell. Think of this circumstance in terms with the movie, Independence Day. I captured an alien, put it into a sleeping mode away from the rest of my research and data, and it's forever safe (until someone unleashes it again—which would suck major loofa sponges). 

   Well, let me now shut up and start the story. Right! Hit it! *kicks projector* 

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"****

   **|)!r7y 5|\|34|3r5**

_Chapter 14 » My Fair Lady Must Hide_

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   It was midday and everyone was gathered into the mysterious double-decker bus that utterly tore off the idea of the Partridge Family. People started to gather on the outside of the bus, making remarks, good or bad, on the art and design of it. And why some piece of English crap was parked so safely within their neighborhood, but they couldn't do anything about it because it was obviously an ADT endorsement on wheels. They dare not touch it. 

   Ginta and Hakkaku were already getting acquainted with some of the group, but others wanted answers instead of debates on the capacity of garbage Americans go through once every month. Why was Kagome gone? Where exactly were the Shichinin-tai? Who was Oscar Mayer and why does everyone want to be his wiener? Okay, so underprivileged Mukotsu was the only one who wanted to know the answer to that last question, but curiosity killed his ancestor.   

   Renkotsu and Shippou were fighting over the stations on the overhead flat screen TV, Mukotsu was pulling on slapdash people's clothes (getting everyone thoroughly annoyed), and everyone else was either on the upper layer of the bus such as Kohaku and Souta were, while others were almost near death caused by their own friends for answers to their questions, such as Kagome was.   

   The only answers they received were large doses of information on Hakkaku and Ginta. 

   Hakkaku was a really nice guy. He was humorous, a regal Asian cuisine chef, and good at breaking the laws like everyone else could be if they were reduced to watching The Spiral Staircase through the Radio Shack window on tenth street. Ginta was just about the same, but just a little new to the world of X-cons and juvenile escapees. Just last year his grades were top mark in everything, Science his number one goal since he first learned to produce soap successfully watching Martha Stewart only once. 

    Until, that is, Hakkaku came home one night and brought him into another dimension of death, booze, and vehicles that run on mammoth joints jammed up the muffler. This dimension shall be dubbed 'life in the 70's that has yet to change today'.

    Ginta's face appears on milk cartons now, and there are many complaints about that. I mean, if you're going to put someone on a hormone-driven beverage, you might as well make that vermin the damn mascot of the whole company supplying the milk. Ginta can barely get by a drugstore without odd looks or gasps or angry people seeing his face again. But there is a completely reliable solution to that. 

   "So you really wan' 'oo know?" Ginta said from under his black beret. "'Ou really wan' 'oo know wha' happened?"

   "That'd be a fucking help," InuYasha growled. "No one _else_ is telling us." His glare switched over to Kagome who was jolting fretfully not under just his gaze, but Sango's too. No one could shake a person harder than Sango. That came literally and emotionally. 

   "Fine, fine!" Kagome yelled, jumping out of her seat by the window. "I'll tell! I was just waiting when everyone would shut up—Mukotsu stop pulling on my sweater! I'm this close (H/N: this close -- |  |) to taking your glasses and feeding them to my cat." 

    "Meow."

   Mukotsu sighed, but obliged and stopped all further questioning. Kagome smoothed down her hoodie and plopped back down in her seat, pressing her back against the window. InuYasha gazed at her absorbedly from next to her as she started to speak.     

   "This is what happened last night. As I was leaving the house to look for the rest of the Shichinin-tai…"

"º""º""º""º""º""º" _Flashback to last night during Monk _ "º""º""º""º""º""º"

     Kagome left the house and took in the hinterland that was Tokyo. She walked down the steps with keys jingling in her pockets with every step. It was a pretty breezy night for a change. The neighbor's willow trees rustled in the wind and blossoms fell among the path and swept into the street. As Kagome walked onward, she ran a finger across the white thicket fences as she did when she was just a kid. 

     Except when she passed a gated area with a massive pit bull named Zip McOccup. That wasn't a very memorable time in her life being around that pit bull playground they called a home. 

     Before she knew it, she had come to the crossroads. It had been hours since she left the house now. On the bend of the roads, there was the Stop and Go store but it had only two cars in the parking lot. None of them looked like Ginkotsu's familiar silver pick-up from the dim streetlights. You could always tell his car from a lot of pick-ups since his was custom made with a door for Lock Jaw companies for those with disabilities all around the world. 

    Kagome was turning to walk down the north crossroad until she saw that two young men had run out of the Stop and Go store with raggedy plaid sweaters and stakeout clothing. Sweaters loaded with food, Kagome saw as she squinted to see a Devil Dog sticking out of the older boy's pocket. He had a bandana over his mouth. The short boy was wearing an over-sized hat that covered his face, not fully, but the shadows of the night covered the rest.

   A scream wavered in the breeze. It sounded far back into the distance. It must be Zip again, trying to make a kill out of the night watchmen. 

    Kagome never thought about pros and cons to help the two boys that were being run down by the store clerk. Would they turn on her and kill her? Were they armed? Couldn't have been. Their torn clothes indicated that they probably wouldn't be able to see a knife much less own one. 

    Without giving another thought, she ran as quickly as she can to the store. The pads of her quaking feet hitting asphalt were being drowned down as the shouts from the three in the lot. Not one of them noticed her. Which made her feel like she was in that damn Christmas movie special, and expected a double of herself to come running out of no where trying to make the world a better place. 

     Honestly, she was 6 feet behind these people!

     "You z'tupi' crooks!" The store clerk yelled in a crooked European accent, raising a fist as to beat the small of the two men down. "Goo' for no'zhing z'hieves! Give me bac' me food!" 

     The man's fist was mere centimeters from the boy's face. The older thief shouted a curse, dropping all food in his arms to block out the punch. He missed. There was a loud thump before Kagome lowered her hoodie down with her fist. It was she who had stopped the punch.

      The two lads' eyes widened in amazement and dead shock as they noticed the girl twist the clerk's arm until it was painfully contortioned into the back. Kagome looked back at the boys, and winked before fiercely whipping the cantankerous man around. She had zeh masta' plan.

     "Don't you **touch** my brother!" Kagome bellowed. She drew back her other fist and slammed the meager man square in the eye. The man staggered back, letting Kagome release his fist and hurriedly turned to the two boys who had their eyes wide open and their jowls slanted open. 

     "Hurry! We have to leave!" The two thieves glanced at each other hesitantly. Kagome saw their expressions twist and started running on the asphalt down the empty crossroads with only her feet making a noise. Soon enough, behind her she heard ruffling and grunting. 

      _The clerk must be getting up_, Kagome thought as she ran down another road that was dimmer than the last. Right behind her she heard footsteps padding her way. She stopped immediately and turned down the block she just ran. To her surprise, the two boys at the Stop and Go store were not to far behind her, panting slightly as they reached her. 

    The older boy stood in front of the younger one protectively as he reached Kagome.         

    "OH FU—" Shippou suddenly cried, his hands in the air like he just don't care. One half of a smashed remote lie in his hands while bits and pieces and blinking notches scattered the carpeted floor.  Kagome's story has just reached a climax, too. InuYasha couldn't help but yell in frustration causing Kagome to practically glomp him to make him settle down, and Sango just couldn't help but yell too, causing a chain of reactions to come forth that included lechery, injuries, and lint to come into play.  

    "SEE WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!" Renkotsu roared as he slapped one of Shippou's hands away from his face as it was being waved around. Renkotsu lunged and tackled Shippou, causing a brawl to uproar as Suikotsu's meditation was interrupted and Kyoukotsu's Royal Flushed was Royally Flushed down Mukotsu's mouth as he ate them in one /\/\3g4 13173.

    Cursing ensued. 

    "ME?! IT WAS YOUR KLUTZY CAUCASION ASS THAT—" Shippou was cut off as Sesshoumaru stopped the filing of his nails, standing and stepping over the heap of broken remote remains to examine the TV. All noise halted as he rose and carefully inspected the over-sized gossip device.  

    "Is that not Kikyo?" He asked with a hint of lemon in his voice. (H/N: Or it could have been the whole lemon.)

    Hakkaku and Ginta were confused. Everyone else was just sitting around with a dumbfounded look on his or her faces.

     "Turn it up!" Sango yelled, slicing the silence.

     Sesshoumaru turned the notch for the volume up as a newscaster was talking.

     Instinctively Miroku slugged his way to lean over Sango's back to get closer to the TV, not using his hands as an instrument for once. She made no attempt to move him, just 'shh'ing the ruffling of his clothes as her leaned on her. It wasn't just them having that problem. Everyone had stopped, glued in their positions, staring at the TV as Sesshoumaru took his seat next to Naraku in the back of the bus, going back to reading old magazines and filing his nails. Yet even he was listening as the news displayed Kikyo's extremely pale and make-up drizzled face in a photo taken in, ah, the past few days. 

(H/N: You know how cheerleaders are such the camera whores. If it's not every hour that a photo is printed of themselves, than it's every minute. )

      A pasty-looking, horse-faced woman with slick ebony hair, dressed in a purple work suit appeared on screen, gum chewing and all. A particularly repugnant picture of a five-year-old Kikyo in skimpy leopard print on ten-inch thick Candies making a face to the person taking the photograph had shown up in the upper right corner of the screen with a red ribbon stripping the corner that read 'MISSING' in white letters.

     "In other news today," The newscaster's voice had a terrible pitch that could have passed for an impression of Shirley Henderson. (H/N: Moaning Myrtle in Harry Potter movie 2.) "A girl has been claimed missing when she was abducted from a back alley near the Tokyo Bowl restaurant in, well, Tokyo. The girl's name is identified to be, Kikyo Miko of Goshinboku High, age 17. Our very own Seamore Butts has more on the story. Seamore?" 

    A man had shown up on the screen. He was fairly tan, fairly skinny, and fairly unattractive just as all newscasters are. So it was only natural for the name to fit the face. 

     "Thankyaveramush, Kamakiri," The man laughed at his own impression of Elvis, in which he was the only one. Some guy in the back hidden behind the camera coughed. The newsman straightened up as Japanese Zelkova trees in the background brushed clean through the morning breeze. 

     InuYasha rubbed his temples in infuriation and cursed severely under his breath. Kagome nudged him with her elbow and nodded up to the screen to watch. Renkotsu yawned and scratched his ass just as any man would do when something really crappy was on TV and unavoidable to watch. Sango yelled at him to stop scratching so loud and went back to listening to the TV. 

     A sudden wave of static erupted the screen. It swept off as soon as it came.

    "Kikyo Miko of Goshinboku High was abducted last night in a back alley near the Tokyo Bowl restaurant in Kyoto. Not to far from the alley, there was a fight at a local Stop and Go store in which the clerk, Mr. Eshi, was knocked out by, what seems to be a teenage female. The identity has yet to be uncovered, but as we speak the search for the girl is getting rather successful. Police are investigating the situation to see if the two crimes are linked." 

     All eyes turned to Kagome. InuYasha's mouth was gaping open.

     "Kagome…" He whispered. 

     Kagome let out a nervous laugh and twiddle her thumbs. "Uh… My bad?"

     Seamore suddenly gave a cry of joy, holding one hand to his ear as if hearing something from a piece of machine stuck up there. 

     "This just in! We have a witness confessing to the scene of the crime! I could get a raise for this! Yaaaay!" Seamore bounced around the area as if he was Special Ed from Crankyankers. Men cursed in very obscene and vulgar languages, as a man was suddenly pushed in front of the screen with the look that plainly read 'I-don't-know-what-the-hell-I'm-saying-so-don't-listen-I-just-work-here-to-get-paid-is-tgat-so-wrong?' scribbled on his beautiful moth-like face.

      "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Butts is being a Mr. Ass at the moment. So I'm Gatenmaru filling in for the tree-hugging jezebel you see now, being censored on your screen, making Mother Nature a proud…mother, indeed." Gatenmaru let loose a sigh from his rose-painted lips. A hand from behind the camera held out a paper. Gatenmaru mumbled a 'Give me that' and looked at the camera in disgust. 

     Disgust so vile that it was as if Martha Stewart trying to make him join in her little cult of homemakers by abusing their husbands mentally as well as in the flesh and creating pink perpetual candles out of toothpicks, lavatory paper and glitter like she was MacGyver on a mission to make the world a better place for the cheaper people of America who can't get off their languid ass and actually shell out the 75¢ it takes to buy the damn things. Then again, as we look back in time, Emeril tried the same trick and where did that get him? EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE!

     Gatenmaru coughed as a beautiful frown stamped onto his glossy little metrosexual chops. 

      "Listen up, hommies!" Newscaster Gatenmaru pointed to the screen, as if accusing it of trying to pay his father's Death Tax. The microphone he was holding tilted to the side of his face as he verbally abused the watchers. 

      "Yura—wait, this name is scratched out. I can't read that. Seikai, you're a good interpreter get the hell over here. What does this say?" Gatenmaru flashed the crumbled script he held in the clutch his fine purple nail polished fist before his face.  

      More mumbling and cursing came up from behind the camera. A man wearing a headset microphone and a canyon orange tee came up to the screen and shoved the paper away from the camera.

      "Seikai! There you are. What is this girl's last name?" 

      Seikai squinted. A couple of seconds passed when the man suddenly clucked his tongue from inside his chipmunk-like face. 

      "Yura Hoar." 

      Gatenmaru froze. "Say what?" 

      "Yura Hoar, Gatenmaru." 

       A fist impacted to Seikai's face. Immediate anarchy and shouting developed in a blur of diverse action, and soon enough, someone had backed up into the camera making it fall and knocking the static out of it. 

       At that moment, the whole news broadcast was interrupted. Static waves filled the bus in peculiar patterns of clamor. Ginta, who was closer to the television, stood up and reached for the button to turn it off. Suikotsu stared at the static for a second, his eyes narrowing. One of his calm hands grappled Ginta's wrist that was making way for the dial. 

       Ginkotsu peered down at his brother through the bridge of his crooked nose. "Brother, what's wro—"

       "Ssh," Suikotsu whispered, his eyes closing in a meditative tranquility of concentration.

       "Listen…" So they did.

       The static. First, it seemed as nothing but a bunch of ruffling noises. But something… Something within the static echoed. Just a little. Focusing on that one echo made it grow and grow and grow.

       A voice, as if it was caged within the confines of a barred cell and had the vocal freedom of a small insect echoed throughout the bus. 

       "Do you hear it?" Suikotsu asked as he reopened his eyes.

       "I do." Hakkaku admitted. "It sounds as if someone is tryin' to send a message through the teloo'."  

       "I hear it too," InuYasha said. "Hakkaku, turn it up. I think I can make something out from it... It sounds, so familiar." 

       InuYasha became one with the infernal noise as he tried to make out the noises within the TV.

        "I…" Static dawdled and sputtered within a fury of blacks and grays playing across the dreary VDT. Only careful ears could hear the noise. That was why InuYasha caught it before it slipped away from him. 

        InuYasha sounded it out as he heard it, "I…" His wan tainted dog-ears flickered about, adjusting between the uptight silence in the vehicle and the ear-splitting static. 

        "Am…"

        InuYasha nearly jumped for joy as he heard the word, strained to do so. "Am…"

        Nothing but ricocheting clatter swarmed through to their brains. A while passed until Kagome tugged on his sleeve, pressing against him a little, drawing him away from his concentration and causing him to blush an innocent shade of cherry.

        "Huh?" He asked, flustered.

        "What is it saying now?" Kagome whispered, choosing as if not to notice the blush on his cheeks. 

        "Oh." InuYasha whirred his attention back to the static, yet now finding it harder since Kagome still had not noticed that her breasts where pressing ever so slightly, roughly clingy-like, to his powerfully built arm. He could just about feel his blush strengthen to a more powerful shade as his doggie-ears tuned into the static. 

          Suikotsu looked around the bus eagerly. "Someone sounds upset…"

         The TV made a flicker of color, and soon voices arose louder and louder until nobody strained to hear the words coming from the black and gray tornado. Even Sesshoumaru and Naraku looked up from their card game to see what was going on with the TV. 

         The screen flickered again, but shorter with a more colorful pause. Sango gave a startled gasp, just finding out Miroku was worming his way closer to the idiot box—over her. She put an open hand over his face and pushed him back into his seat with much complaint.

         "And, like, yeah! She was…" 

        Kagome stared uncomprehendingly at the screen, as others did, and scratched her scalp absently. Why did this voice sound so decipherable, yet so maddening on it's own part?

        "Just… Like…"

        Kyoukotsu pressed his face to the damn screen and started to sob. "SUSPENSE! I'M IN SUSPENSE!" 

        "Shut up, Tiny." Mukotsu said, leaning against his plush seat, not really caring to the static anymore. It was as if The Ring didn't make him piss his pants every time he looked at little girls or crayon drawings enough in one year, but now he had everyone fixed to the tube like Anna Nicole Smith has just released news saying she is having a sex change for a new set of rules on life, you know what I'm saying? It was kinda like that.

       Kyoukotsu held up his older brother by the neck. "Keep that tongue inside its cage, you human moth ball."   

       "Like, YEAH!" 

      Not one soul did not jump up in fright by the sudden noise that had nearly shaken the bus by its shrill volume. With surprise that could choke Mary's little lamb, none other than Yura had appeared on the screen with a panicked looked on her face. She had nail scratches on her face, her hair—being cut short by knives and other completely random objects known to man—was fluffed up and her clothes, oddly enough, had not one piece of yarn misplaced that made up her lewd little tank top.  

     It was the interview that Gatenmaru had mentioned. Obviously, they had switched cameras. Listening to a metrosexual battle with witty words and frisky fingernails against the people he works with is a much more interesting controversy than having a cheerleader smack her gum and answer 20 questions about a kidnapping. News Channels just didn't make sense.

     Knowing that everyone would get a headache, and if they didn't someone who did would give them one, they listened on to what Yura had to say about her BeSt FrIeNd 4EvA!!!111!11!'s kidnapping and what she didn't do to stop it.

     "So, Yura," The interviewer, a woman who wore her rippling ruby hair in a tress of white magnolias, gave an exhausted grunt while she talked in a strained voice to the teen, mutant, anti-human, whoknowswhatthehellsheis. The interviewer had probably been put up to do something that would blemish her mental sanity forever and ever by means of blackmail, a raise, reimbursement, or for funnzies. Whatever it was, Yura seemed to not notice, but instead was hyperventilating quite exaggeratingly up to the point where she'd jog in place to let it out. 

     Occasionally, Yura would wave to or seduce the camera repeating 'Hi, boys!' or try to take the microphone from the news lady and push her away from the spotlight. The lady would have more than likely been happy to let her do just that, but for fear of getting fired and being shunned by the world and her husband, she chose the safe route.

      "What exactly… in comprehensible terms—no, no, breathe if you have to—can you tell us about the kidnapper of… Kikyo Miko?" The interviewer swayed faintly in her high heels, obviously trying to keep awake.

      "Like, it-it was.. uummmmmm… Like, um, a she!" Yura paused and closed her eyes, clenching her fist. "Yeah! It was a she. She, like, wore designer footwear. Totally, like, handmade and like—pleather! Actually she, like, had on this blue—" 

     "What did she look like, Miss. Yura?" The lady asked, blearily.     

     "Well, like…" Yura peered in all directions, seeing if anybody else was listening. 

     "If you like promise to, like, not tell like anyone. Like, anyone ever!" 

     The news lady frowned. "Yeah I got that part."

     Yura lowered her voice to a whisper as capable of being heard as it was when she was talking. "I like, really, like, think her clothes are like out of date. I mean, they're like, so not like trendy or like ena'thin! It's, like—!" 

      "If you say the word 'like' one more time, I am going to brutally strangle you with my microphone wire until you beg for me to kill you. Get it? Got it? Good." The redhead dodged an on coming hurricane of hypocrisy and spied at her watch and stared dead-eyed at the camera, expecting them to defy her after that long piece of useless information to go and take a long sponge bath and pop open a vein or two. 

       Kikyo the poontang plonk muncher was better left kidnapped if this is what she would also act like compared to her double Dutch yapping friend.  

      "Oh, would you look at the time, its almost time for the future presentation of our long-awaited movie—"

     A ring and slight waves of vibration emitted from Naraku's pocket. Naraku retrieved his Side Kick cell and viewed the caller ID. 

      His eyes widened. "You guys, shut the damn TV off." 

     Ginta directly turned the volume on the TV and shut it off. Sesshoumaru peered at his buddy through his thick silver bangs, his honey caramel eyes asking who the hell it was calling. Naraku put up one finger, telling him to hold on as he answered the call.

     "Naraku?"       

     "Bankotsu. What have you got for me?" 

     The name Bankotsu had already attracted InuYasha to usher Kagome near the back of the bus as did Miroku to Sango and most definitely the other five members of the Shichinin-tai were already huddled around, peacefully hoping nothing was wrong with their other two brothers. Kouga wasn't an option to care about, but Kagome did hope he was all right, as did Miroku and Sango. Spite that he could be a possible future figure for stalking, it was okay for now, since they needed someone to hope for.  

      Bankotsu on the other line sounded like he had just run a marathon and won. There was another set of unlabored breathing in close proximity, which was most likely Kouga. He sounded very tense, and changed his deep undertone into harsh whispers. 

      "This is going to sound really unbelievable, but word going around prison is that… Bonehilda's last wall is slowly coming down." Sesshoumaru stopped filing his nails and carefully listened in.

     "Guards by the dozen have already been sent to investigate on the outside of the security walls and underground." He took a deep breath. "Kouga and I have over heard some guards talking to Chocolate and Officer Rin about not seeing anything. Not seeing a thing!"

      Naraku tucked stray wavy strands of hair behind his ear with a slightly shaking hand. "Where are you now? Are you away from large groups of people?" 

      There was a pause, a stop of shaking breath, and sounds of footsteps. The footsteps slowly muddled away. "Ye'. Kouga and I are away from any metal object that might percept the interception of the phone call. The security has more than tripled around this whole prison. Someone will be looking for us soon."

      "Where are you?" 

      There was another break in proceedings. Kouga sounded like he was murmuring something. Bankotsu responded indistinctly. Kouga growled, as if urging Bankotsu to tell Naraku something. Bankotsu responded faintly again, not heard. Their whispers echoed off of walls where they were. 

       "Did you hear?" Bankotsu asked, a slightly different tone leaving the confines of his throat.  

       Naraku shed a puzzled countenance. "Hear what?" 

       "That Kikyo was kidnapped."

      Naraku rolled his eyes. "Yes. We heard it just a few minutes ago, right before you called. Yura was talking nothing about the kidnapper. It's obvious she saw someone. I guess she just wasn't _smart _enough to identify what her face looked like instead of her _boots_."

       "So you haven't heard from Yura or the other donkey show at all?"

      "No. Were we supposed to?" Naraku rubbed his temple. His eye took on a Chinese fashion as his finger rotated around it.

      "Damn." Bankotsu started conversing to Kouga again. "You should find her and take her in."

      "WHY?!" Naraku yelled, entirely offended by such the idea of the idea.

      "SSH! Keep your voice down..." Naraku settled down again. "There is a reason why she won't say anything to the Press."

      "And why is that?"

      "The kidnapper!" Bankotsu snarled rigorously. "The kidnapper had warned her to change her identity to anyone who asked for it. Something the opposite of what she had looked like that same day of the hijacking. She wasn't masked or anything. Now you know this information, you need to find Yura. Bait her; trap her, whatever it takes! You need to find her and console her with security. She was the only witness to these events, and she knows just who did it."

      "Hold on."

       No words could describe how utterly… disgusted Naraku felt with this plan. He wasn't just about to go through with it for nothing. He needed a few minutes. And with everyone else huddled around him like the Plague, he couldn't get a word in inch wise. He waved a hand and jerked an eye at Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru looked at where he was waving at and saw everyone in a mass, huddling around him and practically breathing down his throat. Naraku sent him a glare and Sesshoumaru snorted indignantly.    

       Sesshoumaru got up and ushered everyone away from his and Naraku's part of the bus. Yes, they all started complaining, yelling, and even starting physically abusing him. Now we know that it is not easy to be Sesshoumaru.

       Sustaining bites in your arm and scratches from both genders for the sake of your friend's privacy on the phone is a piece of cake, right? Hm. Well, hey, what are friends for?  

       Naraku settled down again, less tense now that Sesshoumaru was now pushing his brother into rough housing.

      "What do we get out of this, Bankotsu?" 

      "Besides getting all the facts of who kidnapped Kikyo, if you trick Yura into thinking you'll help her find Kikyo you also get specifics on the kidnapper's connections to…her."

      "To Bonehilda?" Naraku solicited in stupefaction. He leaned back in his seat, and peered out the window into the clear Tokyo afternoon. Skies were dampened with spots of graying clouds. Willows and charmed Oaks of small crowded forests around the Sunset Shrine rocked with the chilling breeze flying over the seluded streets' stray leafs. Such an ethereal scene did not know of the dangers so close by it's territory. 

       "Tell me," The wavy-haired teen jested. "What would the kidnapper have in common with the paranormal prodigy that is Bonehilda?" 

       "Don't you see?!" Bankotsu bit back with inner-vengeance—such a vindictive tenor. "Look at the fundamentals of this entire situation. Someone kidnaps your everyday whore. Secret rumors of a deadly being so close to its long-waited freedom are being spread. One of your own friends was out that very night the sluttish drip was kidnapped. Do you really think that someone so powerful, a girl for that matter, is still kept within confines of these shitty jail walls?"

      "Honestly," Naraku said. "I do not care for Bonehilda."

      "Well you better!" Bankotsu had his voice raised to an extreme hiss now.   

      "Why?" 

      "Fuck your intelligence, man! Can't you figure it out?" Bankotsu said, exaggeratingly. "Think about it: Bonehilda can't still be trapped inside this place. Last night was the reported phenomenon that justified the fact that Bonehilda has made such an extreme process of escape, that even Goshinki is scared to go back outside and check the fucking walls for any sign of damage. This place is a deserted fun house that was shunned away from society for a fucking reason, you know. Kouga and I believe it is true that Bonehilda has escaped this prison, and is now freely roaming the streets."

     Naraku started to get fed up. "What does this have to do with us at _ALL_?"

     "Shut up and let me finish, you ample brain-dead chimpanzee," He said. Kouga growled out something inaudible. Bankotsu replied to him again, just when a punching noise came from the line. "What I was saying was that if it is true that Bonehilda has escaped, than you better hide Kagome. There, are you happy Kouga? I told him now, so bugger off my case!"

     "Why hide Ka—"

     The Shichinin-tai brother disrupted the ebony-haired teen. "Are you by her now? Take a good look at her hands."   

      "Hold on…" Naraku said suspiciously. "Sesshoumaru?" The luscious silver mane itself that was Seshoumaru looked up at Naraku from his accommodation on top of his grumbling brother's back, once more filing his nails without a care in the world but keeping his brother away from violence.  

      "You called?" Sesshoumaru said, sighing. Why can't he just file his nails in peace?

      Naraku glanced between Kagome and Sesshoumaru. Kagome stopped her giggling at InuYasha's position under his brother and curiously raised a brow at Naraku.

      "Come here for a second, Kagome." 

      "Hey!" InuYasha called. "I'm going with her, then!"

     "InuYasha, shuddap!" Kagome rolled her eyes. "I'm going no more than 15 feet away from you! You can wait for just a minute. This is probably really important!"

      "Exactl—GET OFF'A ME, WILL YA'?!"  InuYasha started clawing and swiping at his brother who was now reading a Newtype magazine. Sesshoumaru didn't pay heed to his brother, but just kept on skimming through pages, searching for some good articles on one of his favorite mangas _Seven of Seven_. 

      "Down, boy." Sesshoumaru said weakly, as he dove into an article about _Azumanga Daioh!_.   

      "Argh! I give up! Geez!" InuYasha folded his arms and pouted.

      Kagome smiled and ruffled his hair lightly, giving one of his ears a feather-soft little tweak. "I'll be right back, don't turn rotten just waiting for me, now!"

       "He's about several years too late on that one, Kagome." Miroku wiggled a brow and smirked lecherously. "If you know what I mean."

       InuYasha hid his pouting face.

       Sango was too busy bobbing her head and murmuring random lyrics to her CD player to be paying attention to that comment. She soon felt eyes on her, and immediately looked at Miroku, slapping him upside the head. 

       Kagome laughed and ran to the back of the bus where Naraku was. 

       Miroku rubbed his head. He soon snuck a devious grin on his face just as Sango was about to switch CDs in her Psyc Walkman. 

       "I seem to have lost my virginity, may I have yours?" 

       Sango pulled out a CD case from Sesshoumaru's bag she had conveniently stolen. "Sorry, I like my eggs unfertilized in the morning."

       Miroku feigned a shaken facade. "But Sango, my precious! I wasn't kidding!"

       She put in a CD, Dancing On Your Grave, into her player and started to put the case back without looking at Miroku. This was his way of playing mind games, in hopes of getting something on the side. The boy was as pure as they came, but his mind just didn't know when to lower it's level to a teenage minimum. Sango knew it, but every other girl in the whole entire east side nation didn't know, but as long as she was safe, the world was spinning correctly again. 

      "Miroku, with that attitude, you couldn't even give your virginity away."

      Miroku's eyes got big and sparkled with heavenly glee. "Why Sango! Is this a proposition I am hearing from your luscious ginger lips?" 

      Sango gave a deadpanned expression. "No Miroku,_ darling_. I wasn't kidding."

      "Oh." Miroku said. "In that case, can I listen to your Walkman, too?"

      "Sure!" Sango beamed optimistically, like the barter of words never happened. She handed him an earpiece. "You know the rules." 

      Miroku sighed. "Yes, my sweet Sango." 

      And 3 feet did he slide away from her.

  º""º""º" _Back with Kagome and Naraku, right when Kagome ran over to him_ º""º""º" 

      "She's here now."

      Kagome sat down in the seat next to Naraku. "What is it you needed me for? Is something wrong?" 

      Naraku switched the phone from one hand to the other and turned his back to the window to face Kagome. "Show me your hands, Kagome."

     Slightly nervous, Kagome removed her hands from inside her long white hoodie jacket. Noticeably there were cuts, scratches, and painful bruises lacing her arm.

      "Are there cuts? Injuries? Anything?" Bankotsu's frantic voice beckoned over the line.

      "Yes, as a matter of fact there are." Naraku replied. Kagome started to panic. "What's going o—"

      "What exactly is there? Is it bad?" Bankotsu asked.

      "There are deep violet bruises on some parts of her hands and wrists. There are a few cuts and scratches. It isn't too bad. Why do you need this information?"

       "Bonehilda has hands made of steel, and sustains injuries, I hear. Banging on walls for many years does that to a person, obviously. Kagome has injuries and was out that ni—"

       "How do you know where she was that night?" Naraku interpolated.

       "I called one of my brothers last night while all the guards were asleep," Bankotsu explained in low tones again. "They told me what had happened from start to finish. Let me tell you, that the odds of Kagome's safety are zero to none. If cops find out that it was Kagome who had beaten out that store clerk, then they might get more curious as to the situation. There was abduction not too far away from the scene of the Stop and Go store. About 12 minutes and a couple of seconds apart from each other, it's in the paper of recorded times of both crimes. Without a doubt, authorities and Press will twist the story up so bad that cops will have no other leads but to arrest Kagome for it if she did it or not. Plus the fact that she picked up two new friends along the way to finding my brothers is also a major factor. They too will be arrested and put into custody of jurisdiction, amounting up for at least 20 years in prison for the minimum. Assault, kidnapping… And if Kikyo obtains any serious injuries that put her in a relentless life or death situation, than Kagome will never get out of jail. The death penalty may also be an option if ever the time comes." 

      Bankotsu's breathing was strained, his voice quivering with each word of the last sentence. Naraku was unmistakably speechless. One of his friends was inside of the very clutches of death for a crime she didn't even commit. That is, if someone found out and successfully proved that it was, indeed, Kagome who had assaulted that store clerk or snatched the material girl Kikyo.

       Naraku sadly glanced at Kagome. When he did, he nearly had a heart attack. 

       That jacket she had worn last night was on her body. 

       "Hold on, Bankotsu." Naraku practically ripped down the shades to his seat window, Kagome's warning and pleading voice he just ignored.

       "Kagome, take your jacket off." Naraku took a second to just think over how weird that sounded in a situation like this. 

       Kagome shook her head. "But what about my hands! I don't want anyone to s—!"

       "Don't ask questions or say anything on that matter; just take it off and I'll explain later. Sesshoumaru! Get off InuYasha for a second and bring him over here! Quickly!"  

       Kagome easily pulled off the jacket, bundled it up and put her hands inside. Naraku shook his head and took the jacket away from her and shoved it into a compartment under his seat. Kagome cursed him out, and winced as she placed her hands into her jean pockets just as InuYasha sprinted over to the back of the bus.

       "InuYasha, go up to the second layer of this bus where Kohaku and Souta are. Tell them to put every other window shade down. When that's done, come back down, take Kagome, bring her up to the second layer and sit on the aisle floor next to a seat where the window is shaded. Don't ask questions, just do it and keep her away from windows. Do you understand?" 

       InuYasha glanced down at the beguiled Kagome with a puzzled and angry expression. "Wha-?"

      "Don't just stand there like an ocean booey!" Naraku shouted. "**MOVE!**"

       And there went InuYasha, up the stairs and onto the second layer of the double-decker bus.

       Naraku turned back to Kagome, "Kagome, when you get to the top, just sit there. Make sure you aren't seen through a window by _anyone_. Make sure Kohaku and Souta are acting normally; we wouldn't want any neighbors or tourists—ah, fuck tourists, just make sure nothing looks suspicious, got it? While you're up there, tell Souta and Kohaku to fetch you a new pair of clothes from inside that house that look different from the stuff you're wearing now. I want you to appear totally different from what you were wearing last night. And when the coast is clear to bring you down, we'll get you back into your house if it's safe to."

       Kagome gave a modest headstrong salute. "Aye, aye, Captain Chimp!" 

       InuYasha came back down from the stairs and slung Kagome over his back, but not before giving Naraku a sour expression. "You'll get yours, baboon. You'll get yours…" With that, he leaped up the steps with a protesting Kagome secure in his arms.

       Naraku silently pledged to himself that the next person who called him something close to a primate, he would kill in an instant. 

       He picked up the phone. "We have everything under control. Call again if you ever get personal proof of Bonehilda's escape. Remember, trust no one there."

       Bankotsu dramatically sighed. "Yes, mother. We'll keep in touch with you and the family frequently. Kisses!"

       Click.

"º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º""º"

 Character Identification:

     _Kamakiri_ – The Praying Mantis bitch! Who could forget the girl who widened the damn hole in Miroku's hand with her massive claws as she was being sucked into his void? 

    _Eshi_ – The hellish painter who was a fraud, a gimp and a lowlife with nothing but the smell of ink to wake up to in the morning. Kinda like my dad, just switch the ink to battery fuel and hellish painter to mechanic/car part thief. 

     _Gatenmaru_ – One of meh favorite InuYasha characters of all time. Love his voice, love his personality, love his lipstick; what more could a girl/guy ask for?!  He has shown up in episode 51, tried to take InuYasha's swords, failed, died. All's bad that end's bad—but I still love him and that's all that matters. 

     _Seikai_ – This priest appeared in the episode where Kikyo scared off that little kid, Sayo. The priest died, tragedy, tragedy—write me a song, yada yada yada, shred some petals, they all die when they defy you, but the point is that you're still alive, so we must not worry about the dead. 

     _Shunran_ – This was the redhead news lady that was pissed at Yura. Shunran is apart of the Cat Arc in much later episodes, but is not found in mangas. This was one of the four siblings trying to resurrect the leader of the Cat Arc, Oyakata. The other siblings consist of the brother Shuuran, the caster and ruler of lightening, the sister Karan, the caster and ruler of fire, and another sister, Touran, the caster and ruler of ice. Shunran herself has the ability to cast illusions.   

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     I hate it when people try to act like my mother. It's almost aggravating as this Barbie Girl song I'm currently listening to. Except this one is in German. The English version is more irritating. It would be funnier if Foamy would sing it with Germaine, though. 

     Mmmm… Foamy…

     FLUFF NEXT CHAPTER, FLUFF NEXT CHAPTER! Yaaaaaaay! YAAAAY! Yay! YaAaAy! yAaAaY!

     …YAY!

     **_THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO'VE REVIEWED!_**

****

    **Terra Secora **(You're just having your own little adventure there, aren't cha'? Go ahead, get my carpet dirty with Kikyo's dir-tay blood. Get on with your bad self! ^_^ 'Cause you know you want to…!) 

**    loozer-09 **(I don't mind that you reviewed late! It's the fact that you reviewed at all that matters, ya know? Hey where did'ja move to? Farther from me, right? T_T Gah, it's a curse! …Just joking! ^_^)

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**    Winter-hearted oddity **(Fluff next chapter! Love this, love that, you'll get what cha' want soon! In the mean time, I hope you like the update!)

**    seikkyokuka **(_PLUSHIE!_*squeeze* Gratitude! Gratitude! *hands you a giganto whistle candy*)

**    Kim **(They are wolf demons of Kouga's tribe. You probably already know that since there is a big gap between this chapter and the last chapter to read some fics to find out. ^_^ Yes, those pairings suck major pet rocks, but what can I do, eh? I've got people riding on my coat-tails about it. I honestly don't see what people see in couple like… those… Yuck… I honestly don't get the hype. I must've missed a memo about it. Damn you, AT&T.)

**    lovin-sesshoumaru-isnteasy **(Thaaaankyouverymuch! Oh, and I agree with your pen name. Bwaha!)

**    Alia **(I see someone is having a case of shits n' giggles. ^_~ Ha! Glad you love meh story!)

**    Maiden of the Moon **(They cleaned up this apartment, thank God. My mom must've been pissed for weeks. The lady next door (the one that I thought was Amish) turned out to be a lawyer, so she made them clean it up in a jiffy. Yes… Lawyers are bloodsuckers, but they are helpful ones indeed. Ah, don't fret! You aren't an annoying reviewer! It's just… some people out there… *twitch* @_#)

**    Rouge Aisha **(If someone called me thunder-thighs I'd kill everything that would be cute and adorable. O_o I wonder how Kagome managed to bare it! Must've taken great training to accomplish successfully. Without blood spill and all.)

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**    Fuzzy 'Lil' Bella-Chan **(You like, yes yes? ^_~)

**    InuYasha00 **(Did I e-mail you already? I forgot-it's been so long. It's just a little compulsion joke I made. I have a compulsion of cleanliness and my mom (ironically the person I inherited it from oO;) uses it against me, so hey! Why not put it in a story.)

**    Inu-shounen **(I don't know if many peeps know about Hakkaku and Ginta. I know they're both idiots, they aren't really British, and they like physically abusing each other. _Hey!_ I thought out loud, _They have all the characteristics that brothers do! Why not make them as British as Boy George AND relatives?_ So here they are. I realize this chapter wasn't really funny because it's got some serious parts, but I hope it made you at least—um—snort with laughter. Yeah! Snorts are always a good sign. ^_^)

**    eddie4 **(I know! I got your e-mail and read the chapter. Keep up the good work on it, I wanna see more fluff! Woo hoo!)****

**    Demon Assassin **(I forgot if I e-mailed you, too. But of course you could put me on your favorite author's list if you'd like! Hell, I'd love that! Thankies so much for the glomp and all the goodies! *pulls out a soda from the big sack of stuff and downs it* My gratitude! *hands you a mammoth alien glow pop* )

**    demon-kim demon carey-12 **(Thankyouthankyooou! I hope you savored this big-ass update.)

**    Wakadori Ramen **(Well, that's too bad, because Suikotsu and Kikyo are both dead and not up for pairing. So if you're into necrophilia this place isn't for you. They could be the 'effing Fear Factor for all I'm raised to know or care, but hey, if you like them paired together good for you—but don't mind if I just insult them some more, seeing as I have my opinions, you have yours. You're in my home, and if you don't like what's inside, then well, you know you're way out. I hope you liked my story, in which you have reviewed for no other reason than to complain to me about my opinions anyways. ^_^ Have a nice day.)****

      Now… I just need to rant… _ Gah! Oh how I need to rant!****

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      **_RAAAAANTS! _**

****Aaaah..! Must… @_# Complain…

*gives into temptation*

     **» **_An e-mail was received about my hate for cheerleading. Now, the e-mail shall be replied.. Anonymously. Aggravatingly. Bluntly. _

    This cheerleading business… I **_hate _**it. No-hate isn't the right word… I **_LOATHE_** it. It's not a sport, divvies. Cheerleading is doing nothing but reciting replicating poetry for the athletes who actually train hard and compete to the bone in a live team game, while the girls who you can't tell apart are standing on the sidelines getting all the undeserved attention, taking all the glory, hoisting each other in the air while screaming rehearsed lines that mean nothing. **NOTHIN'!** You usually have to be a certain weight to join in (around 50 lbs.) or all else is snickered at, or judged against because of their weight—and what does that get you?! Tittle-tattle. Hearsay. Gossip. I am here as a REAL athlete supporter, giving acknowledgment to the people who justify it most. 

    That's why I have such detestation for cheerleading. How can I prove that cheerleading is no sport, you ask beforehand? Well. Why isn't it in the Olympics if it is so holy? Riddle me that if you itch to, I already know the answer. 

    One word: **PUBLICITY**.     

    All else who believe contrary to what I have said then I'll give you two minutes. Two minutes to turn off your computer and go pull out your Barbies from your little hope chests to play with; you're wasting beauty sleep staying up so late to read this and replying will only lead to further turmoil. Which Amande and I are known for. So before you e-mail me to _try_ and whip me at lexis you should turn around now, because it's not going to impede my story. Why can't some of you people lighten up and be someone else for a minute without having to yell at someone to do so? 

     **»** _For shame? No! For thought! _

     I don't understand what people don't get when in the series they mention over a thousand times about InuYasha not having childhood friends. When there are non-AU SIs written out there about InuYasha finding 'long lost childhood friends' or 'missing sisters and/or brothers'… Don't you _think_ that they would have mentioned it in the series if there were any of them hidden out there? Is no one paying attention anymore? If InuYasha had a sister or friends before Kagome, not only would he have definitely remembered it, but also wouldn't the story really be considered an AU because it's just not true by what the series in the manga and anime alike tell us? I mean there are no relevant connections as to why he did forget! But he didn't. Why didn't he forget? Because there's nothing to remember in the first place! Some of you people are desperate for spotlight and that's a sad way to get some.   

    SIs make me _sick_.

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    That's all good and done with. *scruffs hands clean of imaginary dust*

    My birthday is coming up this weekend (the 10th)! Review for meh as a present?! 

    …Please? T_T

    Love Evermore in 2004,

    **Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup**

    …Como esta el Yaaaay!

    Say it with me! _Yaaaaaay!_

    Gah, couldn't resist.


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